Can't Be Tamed
by Kelyse Llewes
Summary: Chapter 19 Epilogue rewrite NOW POSTED! Sadie Morris is more like her least favourite person than she'd care to admit. So when the mounting attraction between them inspires a new spark to change her never-changing life, she knows where she wants it to lead but isn't quite prepared for the consequences. Please R&R. DracoXOC. Inspired by Miley Cyrus song lyrics 'Can't Be Tamed'.
1. Lesson 1  Kissing

**Chapter One: Lesson 1 - Kissing**

I was asked once to describe myself in three words. Do you know what I came up with?

Rich. Beautiful. Rebellious.

Those are the three words that everyone will know, but only very few know the real reason why I chose those words above all else.

Money can't buy you happiness. Beauty is only skin deep. And being a rebel is the only way I can pull the puppet strings of my father when he's not ruling the corporate world, and everything else along with it, including me sometimes. If I don't follow the rules, I have his attention. If I make a spectacle of myself, he can't ignore me.

So when I met kindred spirit, Draco Malfoy, for the first time, I knew that I wasn't ever alone. There are many of us who covet for our parents' attention, and many of us fail to do so and fall deeper in a pit of self-depravity, such as my young hero. I, on the other hand, choose to reject the norm according to my father, and I once thought I could do the same for Draco. I, of all people, should have realized that this was not going to work. How foolish I was to think I could tame the untamable, when I am no more tamable than he.

* * *

"Sadie!"

I spun around at the sound of my name. I looked around frantically, trying to find the person who had called me. My eyes fell on the approaching figure of my best friend, Racquel. "What?" I called back, exaggerating exasperation.

"You have a letter!"

I rolled my eyes. It was just like Racquel to yell across a crowded common room bustling with people, just to inform me I had a letter. Since we'd been friends for years, she knew that I only got mail from two people, and one happened to be in Australia at the moment touring with her theatre company in a production of Hamlet. My mother was famous for her portrayal as Ophelia. She had had much practice over the years living with my father (the only alternative sender of the letter), and decided after ten years of marriage that enough was enough and took her learned skills elsewhere. Australia was a reasonable choice because it was so far away, and although no corner of the earth was far away for Loden Morris, who had more money than he had time to spend in 50 lifetimes, it was a start. My father also didn't bother to bother himself with Madalynn Corey anymore. His new girlfriend, of two years now, Candy Monroe, a busty blonde with annoying perkiness, kept him happily occupied when he wasn't busy making my life a living hell.

So, I deduced that my father was summoning me once again for a weekend photo shoot. As the face of _BonneChique, _a thriving multi-trillion galleon corporation with headquarters all over the world and millions of galleons of sales world-wide every day, I couldn't shirk the responsibility all the time, but it did keep me away from school too often.I pondered briefly the consequences of dying my hair blue, but I figured that might be pushing it slightly. My father would probably have a hissy-fit and disown me, and that was another problem I didn't need to deal with right then.

Racquel had reached my side, her long blonde hair swinging back and forth like a pixie. She handed me the envelope.

"I don't see why he sends these formal summonses," I muttered. "He knows I have a busy school schedule. I can't afford to miss anymore school, the jerk knows that!"

"Sweetie," Racquel said with a small endearment that was meant to calm my system, but didn't quite work…like ever, "you and your father can afford more than most."

I looked up from the tearing of the envelope to glare pointedly at Racquel. I saw immediately she was joking. Yet I was still uncomfortable with the comment. "Ugh! I can't wait until I'm seventeen! I hate being stuck under his stupid thumb. Do this! Do that! He owns me right now, and is abusing that fact. I wish my mother could have taken me with her."

Racquel put her arm around me, "But…" she faked a pout, "then we never would have met and become soul mates."

"I don't have a soul," I quipped back uncaringly, glancing down at the letters on the pristine piece of paper my father had one of his multiple secretaries write and then send via owl post. He irritated me to no end.

"You have a soul. Or at least had one. I stole it from you," Racquel joked lightly as we walked up to the dormitories.

I laughed, "And what are you doing with it?"

Racquel waggled her eyebrows. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

I shook my head. I tossed the letter in the woodstove and moved around to my bed, searching for… "Where's my bag?" I shrieked.

"Which one?"

"Designer! Gold clasp! It has my life in it, not to mention my wand. Shit, shit, shit!"

"Maybe you left it in the library earlier?" Racquel suggested.

"Piss it!" I bolted for the door and ran down the stairs, faintly registering the taunting "Run like the wind" yell that came from Racquel. She was right, we were soul mates, but right now was not the time to be cheeky. A wandless witch might as well be a dead witch and thanks to all my worrying about my father and all the school I had missed, this witch had become the most absentminded witch on the planet.

I sailed down the corridors, probably frightening half the first and second years, and made it down to the library in a record four minutes and forty-eight seconds. Thankfully I hadn't had to wait for any staircases, which would have been truly unfortunate. I checked my watch and let out a small squeak when I realized that my bag had now been left unattended for about twenty minutes. "Shit, shit, shit," I muttered under my breath as I entered the library.

I'm sure Madam Pince would not be impressed if I zoomed up and down the stacks like hell on wheels, which I certainly felt like, so I dialed my pace down to a brisk strut.

I reached the row of books that lead to the table I had been sitting at. As I neared the table I saw that there was someone already sitting there. The bleach blonde hair gave it away and instantly I was infuriated.

Draco Malfoy had been the sworn enemy of most of the sixth and seventh year Gryffindor students, as well as most of the younger students, for as long as I had been at school. He had a reputation for being a cruel and unforgiving bastard, and I knew as well as anybody that these traits were hereditary and inherited from his father, also a cruel and unforgiving bastard. I had hoped somewhere deep inside that he would grow out of them, but thus far the end was nowhere in sight.

I walked up to his left and my eyes widened when I saw my designer gold and silver bag sitting on the table in front of him. But what made it worse was the fact that he was twirling a wand around in his fingers. My wand.

He didn't look up, but he knew I was there. "Morris." His voice was low as he said my last name, almost like a growl.

"Malfoy." I held out my hand, "My wand, please." I had the common decency to start off polite, whereas he was rude right from the get-go.

He didn't budge. "You shouldn't leave your personal belongings lying around, Morris. It might lead to theft. Having you accusing people of stealing would probably be bad for your reputation. You're usually so level-headed—I'm told at least."

"Oh, you're so full of it, Malfoy. Your taciturn bad-boy act is really getting old. So last season. You might consider changing things up from time to time, you know?" I made a mock smile appear and then disappear on my face, a trick I had learned from my dear father who made the face at my mother on number of occasions over their ten-year marriage. "Give me my wand, now."

His head finally turned and his gaze fell on my face. He was looking very grave and serious, a look I had often seen on his face. It wasn't cruel…yet. He held out my wand by the tip and I snatched it away from him.

My snatch had been quick, but his movements had been quicker. With a bookshelf on either side of the table, and a long row back the way I came there really was nowhere to go, so he backed me up into a shelf and put both hands on either side of my head. He startled me, which made me gasp, a reaction that he mistook as fear I suspect. But I wasn't afraid. I had never been afraid of Draco Malfoy. My father was ultimately more powerful than his, despite where his father's loyalties lay. He couldn't crush me anymore than he could crush a hippogriff. (I was there third year for that particular lesson, which had given me much pleasure watching and recounting to my friends later on for several hours.)

He glared at me. I glared back. He didn't intimidate quite as well as he thought he did. He spoke. "You have a sharp tongue, Morris. Do you have sharp actions to match?"

He was pressed close to me, but I was still able to nimbly pop my wand hand between us and press the tip of my wand to his chin. "Test me, Malfoy. I dare you. Test me, and we'll see how well you hold up."

A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth, which had an annoying affect on me. I had never seen him smile without cruelty, and this was definitely not cruel. It was—dare I say it—a smile of admiration. I felt a tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach that just felt all wrong.

"You're much more fun than Potter," he commented. "Potter doesn't smell as good as you."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm flattered, Malfoy," I replied dryly before narrowing my eyes at him. "But I'm afraid I'm immune to your flattery. It's probably your bad breath that's the real issue here, but it could also be the fact you're a cold, heartless guttersnipe."

He didn't back away. He got closer! Inside my mind was screaming. What the heck was all this? Malfoy had never acted like this with me before and we'd had more than enough confrontations. What was different? What the fuck! Was going to kiss me?

Oh, he was damn close. I held my resolve however. I didn't move a muscle. My eyebrow muscle probably twitched but that's about it. We were almost nose to nose when he stopped advancing and just stood there, stalk-still. My wand was still under his chin and despite the spells flooding to mind amongst all the questions, I did not feel threatened enough to extricate myself from the situation. I could have accomplished this quite easily, in fact, but I didn't.

His gaze hovered over my face—my eyes, my nose, my cheeks—and finally stopped to linger on my mouth. "A very sharp tongue," he whispered the barely audible words.

His lips closed over mine before I could even realize what was going on. They were surprisingly soft and molded to mine with ease. I was stunned so much it felt like an out-of-body experience. I wasn't controlling my actions anymore. I responded! Shit, this was so messed up!

The kiss got deeper without my really knowing it. I had a tingling sensation in my toes it was so deep-inset into my system. I knew there had to be a line that he would cross though. He hadn't touched me other than with his lips…yet, and there was no…oh no, there was the tongue. Line crossed!

I exploded!

My arms, still at my chest, pushed outwards without having to make any contact with Draco. My wand did all the work. He was blasted backwards into the bookshelf, thankfully not knocking the entire stack over, just a few shelves out of the way. And the same shelves of the stack behind it as well. Malfoy ended up two stacks over from where I was. I stood there breathing heavily for exactly seventy seconds before I grabbed up my bag from the table and walked extremely quickly, as fast as humanly possible without running, out of the library before bolting up the hall and up subsequent staircases towards the Gryffindor Tower.

What the fuck had just happened?

The question resounded in my skull like an echo in a huge cave.

I almost smashed through the Fat Lady because she couldn't open fast enough and when I was behind closed doors I leaned my back against the cold stone.

I'll tell you what just happened, I thought to myself, Draco Malfoy just kissed you, and you blew him to the other side of the library in thanks.

Thanks! Why was I thinking about thanking the dirt bag for this assault? Ugh, because it didn't feel like assault. It felt weird, yes, but at the same time—and admitting this to myself was really hard—it felt really good. It was then I realized; kissing Draco Malfoy had probably been one of the most rebellious things I had ever done. And another realization; I wanted to kiss him again.

Shit!


	2. House and Home

**Chapter 2: House and Home**

Racquel was the only person in the world who was capable of taking news that totally shocked while still remaining as cool as ever. She didn't freak out. She hardly blinked an eyelash. It could have been the fact that after I'd left she'd dug into her secret stash of firewhiskey and starting tucking it away or it could have been that she was just awesome like that. I put my money on the former. She'd only gone through about a fifth of the bottle of firewhiskey, but nonetheless, she wasn't fazed when I told her about my little encounter with Draco Malfoy, something that was still shocking to me.

"And you kissed him back?" she questioned as she put the cork back into the bottle, deciding she'd had enough for tonight, saving some for another un-special occasion.

I cringed, "Yeah…and I have no idea why!"

"Pfft, I do," she scoffed as she set the bottle carefully back in the free space in her trunk.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yep. Pure animal nature. Draco Malfoy is, funnily enough and please don't hurt me for saying this, exactly like you in a lot of ways. He is dangerously sexy, a very deep thinker, and he's controlled by his father. He attracts you because he's the one person in this entire school who can know on the exact same level how annoying families can be."

My eyes popped in shock. Racquel was known for her astute observations and giving me some of the best advice in my life at times, but right now she didn't have a clear head and yet she still made everything make sense. "Oh. My. God. How could you know this? I would never have figured that out!"

"I told you before; we're soul mates and that means I know you inside and out. That and I pay attention a lot more than people think in my classes. Just because I have blonde hair doesn't mean I'm totally clueless hun."

"I know that," I muttered. She had a complete lack of confidence in my believing in her brilliance. "I know you're brilliant, Racquel."

"Thank you!" she nodded her head towards me and then took off for the bathroom.

I plopped down on my bed, having previously been sitting on Racquel's, and leaned back against the headboard. So my deeper psychological attraction to Draco had been brought to light. Now, was there anything I could do to get rid of it? Or was I doomed to lust after Draco forevermore, now having kissed him?

Oh, his kisses, the tingling sensations were still reverberating through down to my toes whenever I thought about it. He was so primal, so dark. I shook my head and rolled my eyes, chiding myself. It was just like me to fall for the bad boy. I would fall for anyone who went against the grain. That's what got me into trouble the last time. Dating the bad boy was definitely a lot of fun, but in the end I knew that bad boys were just like me; afraid of commitment any longer than a few nights of pleasure. My relationships never lasted very long because of this very reason. I backed down, they backed down, but then they thought because it had been so easy the first time they'd be able to just come back whenever they wanted more. But when I left someone, they no longer interested me. I didn't want another person on my back telling me what to do and where to be and how to act. So did I need to do that with Draco, I wondered?

It worked pretty well with all the others, why not him? Date him and then dump him? It sounded really harsh in those terms, but if these lustful feelings didn't wane then I would need to come up with some solution. I didn't want to go around turning into a puddle every time I saw him. That would definitely be the end of me.

I decided, after much deliberating with myself, that I would wait and see what happened the next day, and the following, and then I'd have the weekend away from Hogwarts to make a final decision. If the feelings remained throughout the whole weekend then I would approach the subject on Monday when I returned.

Racquel came back into the room from the bathroom. I looked up and she asked, "Well, what's the verdict?" She knew me very well.

"We'll wait and see," I replied.

"Good idea. No point in getting ahead of yourself. We don't want an Alec repeat. Anyway, goodnight." She climbed into her four-poster bed and shut out the bedside lamp.

I narrowed my eyes briefly as I went over her words in my head. No we didn't want a repeat of Alec. Alec had been bad news right from the start. He was the only boy, to date, that I had ever wanted more from; more than a couple of nights of pleasure, and more than just a quick, fun-filled fling. He was also the worst kind of bad boy that went to this school. He charmed, wined and dined all his girls because he had the money to do it, but when he was done he didn't let you know in the nicest of ways.

I had poured a lot of myself into our two-month relationship because I thought, _finally someone who understands me, maybe this could actually work._ A few days later I heard rumors that he was dating Morgan DeSantos. I didn't believe it obviously because I thought we'd connected on some deeper level. I discovered the truth of the matter one afternoon when I went looking for him in the back corner of the library, where we usually met to have a little "alone time". Instead I found a topless Morgan with her back against a bookshelf and a sweating and grunting Alec giving her his all.

I was shocked at the sight for a few moments before it settled inside me that I knew this would happen. Somewhere, deep inside me, I always knew this was coming; I just didn't want to see it right away. So I grabbed the nearest book from the shelf and hurled it at them. I think it caught Alec in the corner of the eye and he was knocked over, taking Morgan with him. To finish them off, I used my wand to take all the books from either side of where the couple had landed, off the shelves and pile on top of them. It was very satisfying at the time. Later in the week I saw Morgan with a split lip and Alec had a black eye.

But I had only hurt them physically whereas Alec had hurt me emotionally, and that was a blow I was unfamiliar with. I felt that when my mother left and I had to stay with my father, but not since then. I had formed a tough outer shell when she left and it hadn't been breached yet. Not until Alec.

I really didn't want that all over again with Draco Malfoy, who would undoubtedly be a thousand times worse when he threw his women aside. I didn't want that.

So I would wait and see if my tingling feelings remained, and then I would attempt to flush him out of my system the only way I knew how.

* * *

I saw Draco twice on Day 1 of my stakeout, and then three times on Day 2. Each time it had simply been in passing, walking in opposite directions down various corridors. I avoided the library deliberately incase of another intimate encounter and instead spent a lot of my time with Racquel in the common room doing our homework. The common room was very noisy sometimes, but it had an air of homeliness that I didn't know anywhere else.

Draco's gaze always seemed to burn through me when our eyes met those two days after he kissed me. I could feel the fire start in my toes and quickly flood through me. My heart stopped for the few seconds each time and then restarted after he'd passed.

It might have been all in my head, but I knew that it was never going to be out of my head until I did something about it. As I was packing my clothes for the weekend I told myself that I would do something about it first thing Monday morning without fail.

There was a knock on the dorm door and I went to open it, finding Professor McGonagall standing there. She had pursed lips and looked rather stern. I almost felt my person shrink away from her intimidating figure. She was more intimidating than my father, and that's because she's a witch who didn't like being told what to do. Every other weekend that my father "summoned" me was a weekend she didn't approve of because it meant creating a connection between Hogwarts and the outside wizarding world. This was very "unsafe" she had told me on my fourth consecutive weekend last year. I had told her then I would be extremely happy to leave the outside wizarding world behind me when I stepped foot on Hogwarts premises, but my father could not be stopped. He had many high-up official contacts at the Ministry, and was somewhat close to Professor Dumbledore, though I doubted Professor Dumbledore and Loden Morris ever had afternoon tea together.

"Miss Morris, we have seventeen minutes to see you off before the connection is terminated by the Ministry. Let's proceed," McGonagall said. I almost cringed.

"Yes, Professor." I snatched up my backpack and slid my pumps on, the shoes most preferred by my father. I rather liked them myself, but for traveling they were really inconvenient. But my father hated my boots, as well as my tatty sneakers that I'd managed to keep away from him since my third year. My sense of style was always top-notch because according to my father, even in school, I was the face of _BonneChique_. But he couldn't have my sneakers.

I clicked my way down the dorm stairs, past my classmates who had settled in for a busy afternoon of homework before having the rest of the weekend to themselves. I waved to Racquel who was sitting in the corner with Hermione Granger. She waved back and Hermione raised her eyes in my direction before letting them drop back to the page she'd been reading. She and I were no more than acquaintances, but she and Racquel had a surprisingly friendly relationship. They were both muggle born and took the same Muggle Studies class.

I continued to go tap-tap-tap down the corridors towards Professor McGonagall's office where I stepped into the fireplace and tossed down a handful of ashes. The first time I had traveled via Floo Network was when I was seven and we were heading to my Aunt Deidre's for Christmas. She was my mother's eldest sister, and at the time we had still been one big happy family. The experience had been exhilarating. Since then I have lost count how many times I had traveled through Floo Network channels, but this year alone (current date October 15th) I had gone home for seven weekends, out of the eleven that had transpired. And I was sure there were many more weekends to come where I would be called home.

The swirling sensation of traveling via Floo came to an abrupt halt as my pumps hit the stone fireplace at _BonneChique_ studio in the West End of London. I had fallen on my first trip but since then had not toppled out of the fireplace to cause a certain disgrace to my father. No, I was well practiced in these heels.

There was a Clean-Screen set up right outside the fireplace and as soon as I stepped through all signs of ash and dishevelment vanished. I stepped out and saw my father. I sometimes wished I could actually say I had missed him, but I rarely missed my father because the time between my summons was rarely more than a few weeks. I held out my backpack to him and he took it without comment as I was then whisked away to the change room by Genevieve De'Coeur, my stylist.

Genevieve had come into my life when I turned fourteen and my father had fired the last stylist who worked with me. Alexandrè Marquiss had been competent for a time, according to my father, but after his five year term his technique had started to repeat and my father had redistributed him to somewhere in Japan. I had always thought Alexandrè had been treated unfairly, but when I broached the subject with my father, he'd said it was none of my business. And it would continue to be "none of my business" until my next birthday and then he would no longer control my life. I was almost smug at the thought of his losing his meal-ticket to the fashion world.

I didn't know if I would abandon him completely because technically a part of _BonneChique_ was in my name and would officially take over that sector on my next birthday, but I certainly wouldn't be at his beck-and-call anymore.

Genevieve was an expert at what she did, and sat me down in the familiar stylist chair quickly set to work. She applied a light tapering of make-up; rouge to my cheeks, eyeshadow to my eyelids, mascara to the lashes, and then faint colour to my lips. I prayed that tonight's session would be brief because I was in no mood to stay up till midnight going through countless clothes changes. She then teased my hair to her satisfaction and I was assisted into the satin-red strapless cocktail dress that was the highlighted dress of this season's design team. It was, of course, tailored to my fit and pulled and plumped in the exact right places.

I was out on the floor of the shoot, a simple white backdrop surrounded by low-lit lamps to illuminate the setting, in record time. From that moment on, I merely saw flashes of light here and there, blinding my vision. I gave the effort only because I partially enjoyed this part. The parts I didn't like were missing school and listening to my father.

The night continued like a blur and I went through several more outfit changes. It was almost 10pm when the photographer caught my yawn and called it a night. We would reconvene tomorrow at 8am. My father tried to protest and make it 6am (apparently he was on a deadline) but Juan, the photographer, and Genevieve, both told him flat out that it wasn't happening. I sent up a silent prayer for both of them. Where my father fell short in understanding my wants and needs, they—despite being on my father's payroll—knew I was a teenager and needed my sleep and didn't want to get up at 6am.

We took a car back to my father's West End penthouse condo where I had spent the past six years of my life when I wasn't at school. My father made the decision to sell the house after my mother left, claiming that two people didn't need that much space. He also wanted to remain close to the office. I often wondered if he didn't want to stay because it was a home he and my mother had built together, but I never got a conclusive answer.

Together we rode up the lift in silence. He unlocked the condo and let me walk in first. It was cold and unwelcoming, unlike the atmosphere in Gryffindor Tower. Behind me he dropped his keys on the table beside the door and continued forward towards the bar he'd installed when we moved in. He poured himself a drink and took a swig. I stood where I was in the entrance.

Our relationship was as cold as the apartment itself.

He looked up at me and then spoke the first words to me directly all night. "You should probably head off to bed, Princess." The endearment held no affection whatsoever. My name, Sadie, is Hebrew for "princess" and he'd used the term for as long as I could remember. It used to be said with affection, but no longer. He never said my name out loud anymore, unless he was angry or upset at me and we were fighting.

I didn't say a word. I turned on my heel, literally, and started mounting the stairs to the second level, towards my room. I heard more clinking of ice in the glass and then the swishing noise of more liquid. I hoped to drown that sound out forever one day, but right now I would have to live with it.

I opened the door to my room, the largest room in the apartment. I suspect my father had given it to me as some sort of severance payment or peace offering between us after my mother left. It was a nice room, and I had decorated it to my style, with blues and greens. My room also boasted the balcony and was my favorite part of the entire apartment. It was cold outside right now, but I opened the sliding doors anyway and let the cold air in. Perhaps it would distract me from the cold atmosphere that surrounded my father. I stepped out and looked out at the lights of London. It was one of my favorite views.

I took a deep breath and then exhaled all my negative emotions. Each weekend was like this. It had become a monotonous life with my father, and I relished anything new that life brought me. My mind drifted across London and back towards Hogwarts where I knew Draco Malfoy was, perhaps sitting in the Slytherin common room. I couldn't imagine what he would be doing, but that hardly mattered at the moment. I just hoped that the thought of Monday and what that day would bring could hold me grounded for the rest of the weekend.


	3. The Sting

**Chapter Three: The Sting**

I could feel the air leave my lungs when I stepped into the fireplace at the studio on Sunday and I inhaled deep once again as I stepped out of Professor McGonagall's fireplace in her office. _Home again_, I thought briefly before shaking the thought. These weekends to visit my father, as anyone who didn't know me close would assume they were, really took all the life out of me. I was a dead beat walking on the last wisps of energy leftover from Friday. These weekends weren't my friend, nor would they ever be.

Professor McGonagall looked up from her place behind her desk and nodded to me. I nodded back and proceeded to exit her office and wind my way back up the few levels to the Portrait of the Fat Lady and Gryffindor Tower and my comfortable four-poster bed that was calling my name. It wasn't late, just after seven at night, but I was roused too early for my liking. Genevieve and Juan hadn't protested the evening before at around eleven thirty when my father called for a six in the morning start today. I had been up since before six and on my feet almost all day in various outfits and different shoes. What I needed right now more than anything was a nice hot shower and a comfy bed.

Half-sleeping, half-waking I found my way to the Portrait of the Fat Lady. "Password," she said in that conceited tone that said she thought she was better than the rest of us just because she had the right to admit or decline entrée of any person. Her mood was not improving mine any.

"Fizzing Whizzbee," I huffed.

"Wrong!" the Fat Lady chuckled. "Password changed Saturday morning love and you left Friday night, as I recall. I suppose you'll just have to wait here until someone comes along with the new password or until someone comes out of the tower."

I leaned against the wall beside the portrait of the high and mighty Fat Lady and smacked my head against the brick. It hurt a little but wasn't enough to relieve my frustration with my life. I reached down, lifting each foot in turn, removing the stiletto heels I had been wearing all day. I felt the cool marble floors on my bare feet and relished in the feeling. At least that was one small comfort. Small being the operative word. I tilted my head back and looked up at the tall ceilings of the corridors, holding up the next floor and thought about my rotten luck as a human being.

I sometimes doubted that I was even a witch sometimes. My father did all of his business the muggle way and with the way my life ran it didn't seem any different from an heiress without magic. Magic didn't seem to have any impact on my life and the direction it was heading. I knew magic was there because I could feel my wand in my inside jacket pocket, and I could see traces of it all around me, the portraits for example, moving about and going on with their business, whatever that might be. But despite the moving pictures around me, I felt as if my life was stationary, unmoving and without purpose.

I needed something to break the monotony in this stale situation I found myself in. Merlin, give me the courage and determination to go through with my plan for Draco. He would definitely break the droning dry pace I was living life at, of that I was certain, but there were a few things in the way. Like that kiss that melted my heart. Like that look of cruelty in his eyes when he'd glared at me. Like the fact I'd thrown him through several bookshelves and ran away from him. These could potentially be deal breakers. I just hoped that I had enough sense to get out before I got in too deep. I was used to taking risks. But the last time I really risked it all, I had wound up heartbroken and that was not a place I wanted to be. All I needed right now was to top off my life with a broken heart and my misery would be complete. So, I wouldn't get in too deep. I just needed to do something crazy to break out from my rut.

At that moment the Fat Lady swung open as someone exited the tower and I gasped a sigh of relief. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and padded my way into the Gryffindor common room. There were people crowding in the over-stuffed arm chairs and couch, in the corners on wooden chairs doing homework on the small round tables. I gathered some people were still down in the Great Hall having dinner because it wasn't as jam-packed as it usually was on Sunday nights.

I scanned the room for Racquel but didn't find her. I didn't bother stopping for very long but continued to make my way up to my dormitory. It was empty. I plopped my bag down on my bed, grabbed up my towel from my trunk and made my way to the bathroom and the warm shower that was calling my name. With any luck whatsoever, the hot water and steam would give me peace for the night. Tomorrow I would attack my boredom head-on and at full speed with Operation Draco.

* * *

"Sadie?"

I continued to peer at my porridge. "Yes, Racquel?"

"Is that porridge really as good as you're making it seem?"

I chuckled and pushed the bowl back from my spot at the Gryffindor table. "Nope, its vomit in a bowl disguised with brown sugar. I do not recommend it." I gave Racquel my biggest 'friend smile' I possessed, which was a combination of sarcasm and teasing fun.

Racquel smiled back and raised an eyebrow. "What's the sting then?" she asked, diving into her scrambled eggs with fervor.

"Ahh, yes, your colloquial terminology arises whenever I find…how do you put it…'my next victim'?"

"It's a way to keep things interesting. I have a Potions paper, a Defense paper, and a Muggle Studies paper to write this week and the devious plans you come up with sometimes are just there to distract me, which I thank you for." She brushed her blonde hair absentmindedly over her shoulder. She was a brilliant witch and had a sense of humor to boot. We were going to be best friends for a long time.

"I see," I remarked.

"Yes, so, the sting, if you please. I would like something to get through our lovely Potions class alive."

"You love Potions, and you love Slughorn, so don't even try to pull that one on me. But I suppose I'll kill your suspense and tell you." I thought about it a lot over the weekend and then some more last night while I was getting ready for bed and had finally come up with what Racquel liked to call 'The Sting'. It was a way to get the ball rolling down whatever court I fancied. "I'm going to pick a fight with him, but not a public fight. I don't want the school to know about us because that's just asking for trouble. He's always wandering around alone these days, and very easily found on his own. I'm going to make him get angry. Anger is the first step. Then we might have a civil conversation. If that proves interesting and he's still under my skin, I'm going to seduce him and be done with it."

"Geez, you work fast. Why not play with it for a while, send him mixed signals and such?" Racquel asked.

"Because Malfoy is the king of mixed signals. He's hot, he's cold, he's up, he's down. I can't pull him around like that because that's what he's used to doing to others. I need to come up hot and fast and catch him by surprise."

"I don't know…" Racquel looked skeptical.

"What? What don't you know?"

"Draco seems a bit more complicated than that. Especially this year. He's a puzzle, always has been of course, but this year he's different. Something's changed about it."

I hadn't read too much into the change that occurred from one summer to the next, but what Racquel said was true. I had seen a drastic change in him, but I had just taken that down as the times or the fact he was maturing without a really great father figure. I'd say he couldn't be any worse than my father, but I knew better. Lucius Malfoy was a terrible man, hell-bent on serving You-Know-Who to whatever end, and tearing up hundreds of lives in the process. My father only made my life miserable.

"Well I'll be cautious then," I decided, voicing my plans out loud again. "I know he's different; he kissed me and he's never done that before." Then in a quieter more thoughtful voice I said, "Maybe he's just looking for a way out, like me, and this exterior change is a result of pent-up emotions."

Racquel's eyebrow quirked again, but this time in fun, "You'd like to think Draco Malfoy thinks like a girl, eh? 'Cause that way you could understand him better. But hun, that man does not think in any way akin to male or female. He is an anomaly."

"He's not an anomaly," I disagreed, "He's a code to be cracked. A puzzle to be solved."

"And we all know how you love solving puzzles, don't we?" Racquel nudged me in the side playfully. "Just keep him away from your heart," she warned.

"Oh I will."

* * *

Later that afternoon I didn't make it any secret of the fact I was following Draco around. I didn't have any classes after Potions and from the looks of things, neither did he, but I didn't really think Malfoy was the kind of guy to follow the rules. I followed him, and I think he knew I was following him because we ended up in a deserted corridor at the far side of the castle where no one ever goes. He probably had the whole castle mapped out by now, knowing who was always where, so he'd probably led me this way on purpose.

"Why are you following me, Morris?" he growled. I had turned the corner and he was leaning against the wall halfway down corridor. He looked rigid and tense. He was fighting something, but I hadn't figured out what yet.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You intrigue me, Malfoy."

He scoffed, "Yeah, whatever. You need to be careful or you'll get hurt."

"And who's going to hurt me?" I asked coolly. "You?"

"If you don't stop following me around and irritating me, then yes." He pushed away from the wall. "You have no idea what you're getting into."

I shrugged. "I don't intimidate as easily as you'd like to think Malfoy. I thought you'd figured that out from our last encounter. How's your shoulder by the way. I hope I didn't injure you too badly. I was aiming for your ego…mostly." I gave him my best crooked/smug smile, a smile that my mother had taught me and my father used to use towards her often. I was prodding and provoking him, which was exactly what I wanted. He was prickly, and this would make it worse…I could only hope.

He was in front of me in seconds. He grabbed both my arms and launched me towards the brick wall to my left. I smashed against it and felt pain shoot through my left arm. He was right in front of me, fists clenched, eyes grey and terrible-looking. "You…you…" He couldn't seem to get the words out.

"I what?" I asked holding my chin up, my pain fading quickly. Despite his strength I could tell he'd controlled that throw more than he let on.

He yelled out in rage and came towards me again. I did nothing. His hands landed on either side of my head still in fists. They had come down on the brick wall so hard I could see the blood drip from his knuckles in my peripheral vision. His mouth was a hard line of anger and fury. I had a strange feeling that he kept this pent up on a regular basis and all this repressed anger was just making everything worse.

I reached out, almost without even thinking about it, and grabbed onto his tie. He tried to pull away but I held him there. "Sadie," he growled warningly, saying my name for the first time.

I pulled him closer with his tie so our noses were almost touching. I leaned around so my lips were at his ear. "I'm not afraid of you Draco. But I see what you are becoming. I might be the only person in the entire school to understand that. And I'm probably the only person in the entire world who is infatuated with you right now."

Being this close to him, I almost stumbled over the words. There was still something there, some irresistible pull that called to me. I wanted him, more than I had ever wanted any other man.

Draco was very still for a few minutes, the only sound was our heavier than normal breathing. Then his hands moved. One and then another, he took each of my hands in his and pressed them over my head and shuffled his body in closer. I let out a little sigh and breathed him in. He was intoxicating.

"You had better know what you're getting yourself into, Morris," he said in a low and rumbling voice against my cheek.

I smiled to myself. "You had better believe it Malfoy," I replied.

His eyes met mine and for a moment all time stopped. His eyes were deep grey pools, filled with anger and desire and the illusive need to fight both. A few more inches and all hopes for a fight would dissipate. Or at least that's what I was hoping for.

It was the clacking of shoes on the marble floors that alerted us out of our desires for one another. Malfoy jumped back as if I had burned him. I looked towards the sound of the clacking and then back to where Malfoy had been standing only to find it empty. He was gone. My pounding heart stopped for a few seconds and then started to speed up again thinking about what I was going to say to the approaching person.

They rounded the corner and I felt relief wash over me. It wasn't a professor, which was good, but it also wasn't a prefect or someone who might find it suspicious for me to be in a deserted corridor all alone. It was Harry Potter. From the information I'd drawn from Racquel, who was friends with Hermione, Harry liked to wander the castle sometimes and often turned up in far more compromising situations than the one I was previously in. At the moment he had what looked like a very peculiar map in his hands. When he saw me standing there against the wall I couldn't imagine what when through his head, but I couldn't care less really.

"You're alone," he stated.

I wanted to snort out loud, but I restrained myself and said, "Yeah, fancy that."

"I thought…" he didn't finish the sentence.

"You thought there was someone else down the corridor with me. Well there was, but as you can plainly see, he isn't here anymore." I gestured around the hallway pointedly and smiled at Harry. I then pushed myself away from the wall and started walking towards the way he had come. "Take it easy, eh Potter. Looks like you're really thinking too hard. See ya around."

I waggled my fingers at him and then scooted around the corner, marching purposefully away from where he was and away from everything that had just happened. Well, Draco was baited, and hooked. He still affected me in the exact same way. There was something magnetic that just drew me into him and I lost all coherent thought. I had wanted so badly to kiss him, to have him touch me, but that damn Potter showed up. Well, I thought absently, at least I know now that he wants me and he won't think twice if given the opportunity. I suppose I'll just have to work out the Opportunity, and make sure we both get exactly what we want out of it.


	4. The Opportunity

**Chapter Four: The Opportunity**

Coming from a muggle-wizard integrated family, because my father dealt with business within and without the wizarding world, I was familiar with several rather ingenious devices conjured up by the muggle populous. One for instance, like the clicky-pen. It was such an incredibly clever device that allowed people to write without an ink-pot and quill. It took all the finesse and skill out of writing a paper, which really was a skill, and replaced it with pure practicality. And my father, upon seeing my very first supplies list when I turned 11 and would be heading off to Hogwarts, ever the efficient and fun-killing father, crossed out quills and parchment with pens, pencils and 8 and a half by 11 inch pieces of printer paper. It made school assignments rather difficult. For example, if I were assigned a 12 inch essay, I would have to use around half an inch of a second piece of paper to complete the necessary requirements, which was a really big waste of paper.

But, it was those clicky pens that seemed to enable me to pass the time without getting completely bored. Click. Click. Click. Clickity click click click. It nearly drove my friend Racquel up the wall on the days we wrote our essays together in the common room. And she never hesitated to tell me exactly what was on her mind, and right now—

"SADIE! The clicking! Please cease and desist!" Racquel was holding her Astronomy textbook up threateningly. I smiled a little and set the pen down. "Geez, what's with you? This essay should be a breeze for you."

"Yeah well, I'm otherwise occupied," I replied, staring down at my own textbook and pieces of paper. There were little doodles scribbled on the sides of the paper that I had done subconsciously as my mind worked on, not more pressing matters, but more interesting to say the least.

"And have you done anything lately about Mr. Otherwise Occupied?" Racquel asked, nibbling on the end of her quill. She was a mind reader.

"Not in the last 24 hours, no." It had been exactly that since my little encounter with Malfoy, and ever since he had been the only thing on my mind. It was irritating really. Normally a guy didn't drive me to distraction. Some sadistic part of me hoped that I was driving him to distraction as well, as payment for the effects he was having on me. I highly doubted it though because Draco didn't seem like the kind of guy who got overly distracted. I wasn't really that kind of person either, but he was so enigmatic that it was contagious and intoxicating. I felt like an amateur at this stuff and that in itself was annoying.

"Why haven't you done anything?" Racquel continued. "From what you told me the other night you should want to jump his bones without delay; and yet you delay. What's munching at you?"

"Why don't you figure it out," I challenged, looking at her with mild annoyance. She was used to it and would probably guess the answer right away though.

"I would guess that you're afraid," she said.

It hit me point blank between the eyes, "Wha—what? I'm afraid? Of what? Malfoy isn't intimidating in the least. I can handle myself."

"Screw Malfoy, I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about you. You are afraid that this little escapade of yours will bring you face-to-face with everything that you've avoided for the past three years."

My eyebrows rose. "For instance?"

"For instance your father and the way he treats you. For instance the fact you retract any sort of human feeling when with a man. I know you don't want to get hurt because of what happened with Alec. You let yourself fall hard for him because you knew he was exactly the kind of guy your father didn't like. Draco is the same, except ten times worse. He's not the obvious womanizer, he's more subtle than that and it's scaring the hell out of you."

I let the words sink in. It was all true, but I didn't want to admit it. Racquel knew that better than anyone else. I didn't say anything.

"You know what I think you should do?" Racquel asked. I inclined my head to let her know I was listening. "I think you should find a short skirt, a pair of high heels, and a sexy top and see exactly what kind of opportunities you can make for yourself with Mr. Otherwise Occupied. 10 galleons says he's hovering around the Room of Requirement waiting for you."

I froze, "But how—?" I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence because she got up suddenly and crossed the room with her textbook, heading in the direction of Hermione Granger.

_The Room of Requirement_, I thought. How did Racquel know that? I gathered up my things and ran up the stairs to my dorm. At the moment I didn't care how she knew, just hoped that she was right. The thought of being with him again made me giddy and it was so unnatural but I couldn't stop it. Not yet at least.

I changed into one of the designer frilled skirts I'd taken from a summer shoot, a night black top that hugged my curves and slipped into a pair of killer stiletto heels that sparkled. I shook out my hair, applied a little lip gloss, and left the dorm room. I swept through the common room without so much as a backwards glance to see if anyone was staring. I was used to it anyways. People stared because I would turn up in their fashion magazine ads. I was a commodity and my father knew it well, so he abused it expertly. I was used to it, despite how I really hated the whole ordeal.

Down the corridors I flew, my heels clicking on the marble floors at an alarmingly fast rate. I slowed down when I came to the corner that rounded on the Room of Requirement. I turned the corner, my heart racing, hoping to see him standing there.

Except he wasn't.

No one was there.

The corridor was empty!

I made a little sound of disgust and continued towards the empty wall that I knew held the door to the Room of Requirement. It was just a wall. My hand flew up to my hair and I almost wanted to rip a chunk out at the roots. I was so frustrated and it probably showed on my face.

I waited for three minutes and no one came. I took my heels off and shifted with more discomfort as my feet touched the cold floor. "I'm going to kill Racquel," I grumbled and headed off, back toward Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kick your ass and then never speak to you again!" I hissed at Racquel upon my return to Gryffindor tower.

"What?" She looked confused.

"'_10 galleons says he's hovering around the Room of Requirement waiting for you._' Bullshit! You owe me 10 galleons and an explanation because he sure as shit wasn't there 'waiting for me'."

Racquel's frown deepened, the crease in her forehead displaying apparent confusion. "I don't understand. He was standing there when I came up earlier. I was sure he looked like he was waiting for someone. I—I'm sorry Sadie, I didn't think…I mean I thought he would be there." She looked utterly distressed at my anger and the fact that she had been wrong. It wasn't easy to remain upset at her when she looked so distraught.

"Ugh, how can I stay mad at you?" I wasn't angry anymore, just aggravated. "You're forgiven, but next time I might not take your advice so easily."

Racquel smiled, "I understand. Are you okay?"

"Well my ego has pretty much been doused with a bucket of cold water, and the effort I went to look nice for Draco wasted, and I was really looking forward to seeing him, but otherwise I'm great."

"That sucks. Guess the opportunity didn't go as well as you'd hoped. I apologize again. Maybe don't go on informants next time because they all seem to be unreliable."

"And by 'all' you mean 'I' seem to be unreliable."

"Not in so many words, but yeah, that's the idea." Her wide and goofy smile melted my bad feelings and I felt okay again.

Aside from the wasted trip down the Room of Requirement, and the fact that Draco hadn't actually been there and I'd gotten my hopes up that he would be there and we'd have more of that electrifying connection, I was going to be okay. I still wanted to get Draco out from under my skin however, and that would take a little more careful planning. Tonight's spur-of-the-moment decision hadn't been one of my best ideas. Maybe premeditated plans would be better for this sort of thing. I didn't want to get too emotional about these things, which is exactly what had just happened. That wasn't good, and that must be avoided in the future. No more late-night runs to the Room of Requirement without previous knowledge that Draco would be there. I wanted him out of my head and thinking about him this much wasn't helping any.

* * *

Irritability followed me around like the plague for the next couple of days. I didn't find another "opportunity" like that night run down to the Room of Requirement due to extensive amounts of homework we were being given. I was hiding in the common room so much I started to feel like a bear beginning hibernation early. There wasn't even snow on the ground and I was starting to forget what the sun looked like. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but sometimes I am a little dramatic, if not all the time.

I was sitting in the library, my head deep in my astronomy textbook, looking at star charts I knew off by heart, and yet my heart was not into what I was looking at. "Blah blah blah," I muttered to myself. I slammed the book shut and looked up to find myself staring into a pair of steel-gray eyes.

He had his head tilted and was glaring at me strangely. "What?" I asked defensively.

His eyebrows rose and he shook his head, indicating '_nothing_'.

"I don't believe you," I replied leaning across the table towards Draco.

"And I don't really care what you do or don't believe," he answered in a low voice.

"What do you want Malfoy?"

He leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest. He stared at me for about a minute before he answered. "Just you."

The air left my lungs. I had anticipated the answer but when he said it I was still taken aback. And what confused me even more was the fact I had no comeback for that comment.

My silence made Draco smirk. He stood up and walked around to where I was sitting. He was standing right next to me. He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. I didn't move. His hand was cold and his skin was rough, but his touch still sent shivers down my spine. And Draco seemed to know exactly the effect he had on me because his smug expression just got smugger. "Just you," he repeated, "but just not yet."

His hand left my face and he left me sitting there altogether.

His words sank in and I had this deep sinking feeling in my stomach at the same time. Damn him! He was going to torture me slowly, and that was the exact opposite of what I wanted. I wanted this over and done with. He wasn't going to let me. Damn!

I gathered my stuff together quickly and took off in the direction he had gone. I didn't know if I was going to be able to catch him, but I was certainly going to try. I didn't think he'd stay in the library so I exited, looked left and right. I saw someone's cloak disappear behind a corner to my right and started after them immediately. I didn't know if it was Malfoy, but the hunch was enough to get me to follow.

I rounded the corner and saw the person, with blonde hair, moving along at a quick pace. Rather than call out, because there were several people in the same corridor, I just continued to follow. I followed him up a few flights of stairs as well, and we ended outside of the Room of Requirement. Alone.

"This habit you have a following me, Morris, is really starting to piss me off." He turned to face me and crossed his arms across his chest, a stance I was beginning to think he liked very much. He thought it intimidated. He was trying to intimidate the wrong person right now though. I was unshakable.

"Yeah well, this habit you have of leaving me in a lurch every so often is starting to piss me off, okay Malfoy. So how about we get this out in the open right now? No more of this 'just not yet' crap." I crossed my arms in front of my chest to mirror him, hopefully indicating that I meant business.

He took the hint. "You think you're so slick, don't you Morris?"

"Oh I know I'm 'slick', Malfoy, but let's cut the crap. Dancing around the issue isn't going to make it go away." I took a few steps closer to him until we were about two feet apart from one another. "I'm smart. Probably smarter than you are, but I think we've both figured out where this is going."

He looked bored. "You mean where you want this to go."

I took another step closer. "Bite me Malfoy. You're so full of shit, and you know it. Why not just quit this façade and fess up?"

"Fess up to what, exactly?" he smirked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "So you're going to make me say it? Am I just a game to you, Malfoy?"

His smiled grew. "Now let me ask you a question, Sadie. Am _I_ just a game to _you_?"

So he had caught on. Lucky for me, I didn't need to do any of the heavy lifting now. Explaining to guys that they were just for fun and that I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship was really tedious. I smiled. "No, Draco, you're not a game. You're a disease; a bug that's crawled underneath my skin somehow that I would really love to just exterminate. This is the solution."

His arms uncrossed and he closed the final distance between us in a matter of seconds. He didn't touch me, just leaned very close and started whispering in my ear. "You think one time will be enough for you Morris? Like a disease, I can be infectious. And this solution you've come up with, this remedy, it could become addictive. Drugs are addictive you know?"

"I'm aware, Malfoy," I replied, putting my finger on his chest and moving him back a few steps. "I'm aware of exactly what I'm doing. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I'm not a simpleton, Draco. Far from it, in fact."

He gave me the first genuine smile I'd ever seen on his face. I knew the exact thought that ran through his head at that very moment. '_A worthy opponent_.' He had better believe it. He stepped aside then and the door to the Room of Requirement appeared. "Won't you step inside then?"

He said it in a question out of courtesy, as if he didn't know the answer, but I knew he expected me to enter the room. I wanted to go through that door too. Because what lay behind that door was the answer to all my problems. And my recent wants and desires. And I expected to find exactly that when the door shut behind me.


	5. Never Enough

**Chapter 5: Never Enough**

The room was dark, and the only light that came from the door was about to disappear when he shut the door. My heart was pounding a mile a minute.

Then my world went black. I could feel his presence behind me. I could feel the tension and the crackle of electricity that buzzed between us. There was a connection there and I was excited to explore it.

His hands went to my arms as he stood behind me. His touch was light and I could feel my body shake with anticipation. But I moved away. I didn't want to make this easy. I wanted it, but he wasn't going to win just like that. With a flick of my wand I lit low-burning candles all around the room. It was an ideal setting for my seduction. There was a sofa off to one side sitting on a Persian rug. On the other side of the room stood a big opulent and luxurious bed that was so daunting I didn't even want to think about.

I turned to look back at Draco. He'd remained where I stood a moment ago but had crossed his arms and his eyes had gone all dark.

"You're not going to change your mind now, are you?" he asked in a low and challenging tone.

I let my lips curve themselves into a small smile. "Not a chance, Malfoy."

"Why are you running away then?"

I shook my head, "Not running, just making you work for it."

"I thought you were the one who wanted me so badly?" he took a few steps forward, closing the distance between us again.

I lifted one hand to his shoulder, grabbed a fistful of robes and tugged him even closer. His scent was intoxicating, his presence made me shake, but I held true to my purpose there. I didn't want to get lost in this game we had started, but it was so hard when he affected me this much. I brought my mouth up to his ear. I could feel his hands moving to my waist as I spoke. "I never said I didn't want you."

Then I shoved him back, making him fall onto the sofa. I shrugged out of my robes and removed my shoes and socks. There was nothing more irritating than a man trying to take your pants off when still wearing shoes.

Draco had taken off his robes and started to unbutton his black dress-shirt when I moved to stand between his legs. He stopped and looked up at me, the desire plainly written all over his face.

I bent over forward, my hands going to his shoulders. I took a deep breath and kissed him. His hands almost frantically found my hips and drew me onto his lap. He kissed me back and all time seemed to stop. It was just him and me for who knows how long, kissing and touching and, if I didn't know any better, loving each other. When our clothes disappeared and our breathing became labored still we didn't stop. When we cried out, our muscles spent, sweat dripping from us, we still didn't stop.

He was right. He was like a drug to me. This one time would never be enough.

* * *

It surprised me to find myself waking the next morning with my head on his chest, his arm still wrapped around me. Wasn't this supposed to be a one-time thing? I thought that when I woke up he would be gone or getting dressed to slip out quietly leaving me behind. Yet there we were, laying side by side, my one leg still wrapped with his, as if what we had was more than just a one-night-stand.

"I know you're awake," Draco's voice made me jump guiltily. "Your breathing sounds different from when you're asleep."

"Oh…" I didn't know how to respond to that. And he sounded different too. He didn't sound bored or smug or cruel even. He sounded…content. It scared the crap out of me. I knew from the beginning that there'd be a chance I had more of an emotional attachment to him than he had for me, but now I actually wondered.

I moved to get up and away from him. His arm tightened around me, preventing me from leaving. "Don't go yet."

I stilled. "Okay…" I didn't know what else I could say. This was all too weird.

"Relax," Draco said, exasperated.

I tried to relax but I just couldn't. I pulled back. "I can't relax." I grabbed the sheet on top and pulled it around me and started snatching up my clothes, leaving Draco lying on the bed naked.

"What are you doing, Morris?"

My head snapped up. "So it's 'Morris' again?"

"What are you talking about?" he rolled his eyes.

"I'm talking about this!" I waved my hands around as if that explained things. It was all too strange. "What are we doing right now?"

With a smart-ass smirk on his face, he replied, "Well, I think we had a pretty hot night and now you're acting like a lunatic."

"I'm the lunatic? Yeah, that's right I'm the lunatic. God Draco, this is a one-time thing!"

"Was it?" He moved fast, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, stepping into his pants and pulling them up to his hips. He didn't button them up. His stare piercing right through the clothes I was holding and the sheet wrapped around me and made me feel like I had nothing at all covering me. "Was it a one-time thing Sadie? After last night I don't think either of us is willing to give what we have up, why can't you see that?

"Don't come any closer Draco. I don't know anything right now. You need to give me some time and space to think."

He held up his hands in surrender and then shoved them in his pockets. "You want time, you got time." He grabbed his shirt and robes, and as he shrugged them on he added, "But I can guarantee you that by the end of the week, you are going to come crawling back to me." He turned to walk towards the door.

This struck a nerve. "Hey!" He stopped but didn't turn around. "You don't get to talk to me like that, Malfoy." I dropped my clothes, clutching at the sheet, and walked to stand in front of him. "And I never go crawling back. I don't do that, ever!"

He raised his eyebrow. "Don't be so sure, Sadie. I'm hard to resist." And with a final sweep, he grazed his shoulder against mine and was gone.

I fell onto the sofa beside me, sitting at first and then I leaned over on to my side. I was exhausted. I had gotten a little sleep, but not that much. And then waking up this morning my heart had been beating so fast that I couldn't even think straight. What had been going through Draco's mind? He'd held on to me like this was some intimate encounter and not what it actually had been…which I still didn't even know what to call. And then what was with the attitude change when I couldn't stay in that intimate setting at his side. I mean really, did he think that I was looking for a little love making and then the breakfast after kind of thing? I thought I'd made it quite clear last night that I didn't want anything more than the one night to get him out of my system. He'd obviously grazed right over that one and thought we had a thing going now.

I raised my arm, laying it across my forehead, covering my face. What had I gotten myself into? I hated to think that I might actually go "crawling" back for more…and I hated to admit that Draco might be right…but he might have been. I'd have to use whatever resolve I had to steer clear of him. He was bad for me and while last night was fun—more than fun really, it was mind-blowing—I couldn't risk any kind of a relationship with Draco. He'd screw with everything and I did not want him to break my heart when I knew he was capable of doing just that.

I sat up abruptly then and pulled the sheet tighter around myself. No, I wouldn't let this get to me. He'd gotten under my skin before and I did not need that feeling to continue. I gathered up my clothes and started pulling them on. I didn't bother making the bed. It would be made as soon as I left and the door closed behind me. That's the basis of the Room of Requirement. As I looked back at the room I thought briefly that I might see it again but didn't want to think about that too hard because it meant I'd lost the battle with myself and fallen for Draco. And that I would absolutely not let happen.

* * *

To get my mind off…well everything…I decided to do my homework. I would have gotten there eventually anyway, but this way I didn't have to think about it and then try to not think about it. I just threw myself into my work. So much so that by 10pm that night I was done absolutely everything and I had the choice: either go to bed or let my mind wander. I didn't want to do either so that left me searching for an alternative.

Racquel was currently across the room talking with Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. I didn't particularly like Harry, despite how famous he was and all the hushed tones when people were talking about him. I didn't want to go over and talk to them, but it was better than thinking about Draco.

I was rising to go over to my friends when an owl swooped in and dropped a letter on the table in front of me. I recognized the letterhead and the expensive green ink that my father used immediately. I picked up the envelope, held it up to the light and then dropped it inside the open book I had on the table before me. Then I slammed the book shut, depositing it back in my book bag. Whatever my father had to say to me was inconsequential and I didn't want to hear it. I had never really ignored my father before, thinking that it was only a matter of time before I turned 17 and then he couldn't order me around anymore. But the way my life at school was shaping up called for some decent ignore-time for the high and mighty Loden Morris.

Instead of walking over to Racquel and Hermione as planned, I got up and took my book bag up to the dorm room. My father was an arrogant asshat and while I still loved him somewhere inside of me, it was really hard to believe we were actually related. I was truly still upset at him for driving my mother away. She had been the life of the party and the opposite of everything my father was. This is why she was an actress and followed her heart instead of her pocketbook. I don't even know when the last time it was my father did something purely for the fun of it.

I deposited my book bag on the floor beside my bed, kicking it under so I didn't have to look at it knowing that the letter was inside a book inside that bag. It took some real balls to ignore my father. No doubt if he didn't receive a response within the hour he would contact Professor McGonagall and have her hunt me down. Just once I'd like her to give him a piece of her mind. She was a ballsy woman—that much I knew, but my father was accustomed to getting what he wanted.

I undid my school tie, kicked off my ordinary black sneakers and took off my knee high socks. I chuckled to myself looking at the items, knowing what my father would say about them. He had for years, since I started going to school here actually, tried to change the school uniforms to be more fashion trendy. I always laughed at him when he mentioned it. He wanted the world to know that his daughter went to Hogwarts and that it was the most chic of all magical schools. I remember telling him about the Beauxbatons girls who came to Hogwarts in my fourth year, one morning during breakfast at Christmas break. He almost bit off the end of his spoon.

Despite my attempts to ignore my book bag and its contents, I was drawn back to it and I pulled out the letter, ripped it open accordingly. At first I was annoyed, then as my eyes widened and mouth dropped open, I was severely pissed. I needed my best friend.

I whipped down the stairs again and crossed the room to Racquel. "Read this," I tossed it at her.

"Well hello to you too," Racquel teased lightly as she unfolded the letter. "Say hello to Hermione won't you?"

I turned to Hermione, "Hello, this is an emergency, I need Racquel."

Hermione shook her head, "No problem. We were done here anyways." She stood and left, "See you around Racquel."

Racquel waved an absent hand as she peered down at the letter. I stood there impatiently, knowing the words she was reading were as much of a shock to her as they had been to me. When she was finished she looked up at me and said three letters, "W-T-F!"

"My life is a living hell!" I flopped down on the seat that Hermione had just vacated. "What am I going to do?"

"Do? What does that mean?"

"It means that I cannot allow this to happen. He can't do this to me."

"He's not doing this to you Sadie," Racquel tried to reason, "he's just doing what he thinks is best for him."

"Pfft, best for him my ass. Sometimes I wonder if he is literally trying to ruin my life."

"I doubt that. It says that they've been talking about it for a while now and have finally come to a decision."

"She's half his age! Her name is Candy!" I almost yelled across the table, surely turning a few heads around the Common Room, not that I noticed.

My father, Loden Morris, fashion gazillionaire extraordinaire was going to marry Candy Monroe, his "girlfriend" of three years. My father was pushing fifty and she was only just twenty-four. And she was one of the most irritating individuals on the planet. She had fake boobs, fake lips, her ass was probably fake, her blonde hair was most definitely fake, and my father was falling for it, hook, line and sinker. She was after his money and he was as blind as a bat about the whole ordeal.

"Yes, her name is Candy, but he's your father, and a grown man. It's not like you can tell him not to marry her. Your relationship isn't that great to begin with."

"They're having a Christmas wedding…I have no time to split them up. Shit this is bad. I need to tell my mom."

Racquel's mouth tightened to a thin line and I knew immediately she was thinking something she refused to say. "Out with it," I prompted.

"You're not going to like it."

"With the way my life is heading, I don't think it'll make a difference. Now out with it."

"Do you think your mother will care? When was the last time you saw her?"

I sighed. She was right. I hadn't seen my mother in two years and it had been for a total of two hours. She'd been in London on a layover (taking muggle transportation because her acting troop was a combination of muggle and wizard) and I'd been on summer vacation. She told me she loved me and that she missed me but knowing her she'd probably just been acting. She'd always loved doing her own thing. Sometimes I wondered if I was just another mistake in her life, just like my father had been.

"I guess I'm doomed."

Racquel smiled sympathetically. "You're also a drama queen. Honestly Sadie, worse things have happened. I can pull quite a few to my mind actually."

"I know. I'm messed up."

Racquel chuckled, "Which is why I adore you, Sadie."

"You're the only one."

"That's not true. Draco's hard-on seems real enough to me." She winked.

"Damnit." Life just kept on getting better, didn't it?


	6. The Truth About Pretending

**Chapter Six: The Truth About Pretending**

No matter how much I wanted the shake the idea of not telling my mother about my father's engagement, because I knew she wouldn't care half as much as I did, I really wanted to speak to her. I would have used a telephone if I knew she could be reached that way, and if I knew that Hogwarts actually had a telephone. But because neither of those options was feasible, I wrote her a letter. Two lines, short and sweet: _Mom, I'd like to talk to you are your earliest convenience. Hopefully sooner rather than later please. Love, Your Daughter, Sadie._ While the love part was not heartfelt, because I hadn't really had those kinds of feelings for my mother for quite some time, it was expected of me. Just like my father expected uncontested obedience, my mother expected a certain amount of false love, just as proof that I was still their daughter and not my own woman just yet.

I was sitting in the library when I got a response from my mother, via owl of course. My owl swooped down, dropped the letter and then took off again. I ripped the seal and withdrew the note inside. Racquel was sitting beside me, noticed what I was doing, and leaned in to read the note with me.

_Dearest Sadie,_

_I'm so glad to hear from you. I have some exciting news. I'll be contacting your common room tomorrow night at eleven. I realize that will be rather late for you but it's the only time I can fit you in. We have rehearsals and performances and dinners to attend to. You know all that though, of course. _

_Looking forward to speaking with you, _

_Love, Mum_

"What a charming woman," Racquel commented.

I glared at her as I folded the letter back into the envelope and slipped it into my bag. "She's had a lot of practice, and several charming lines to suit her when she doesn't want to think for herself."

"Nevertheless," Racquel nodded, "she's a very talented actress."

"And a terrible mother," I muttered in return.

"Wasn't she a good mother once?"

"When I was seven she took me to see a production of the Phantom of the Opera at the Opera House in Paris. We spent the weekend in our villa on the French Riviera afterwards. It was a wonderful trip, but the entire weekend I could see she was being false. I was only seven but I could see it. She would laugh falsely and her comments, both to me and the people around her, were all an act. I don't think I've ever seen her real face."

"Damn," Racquel breathed, "that's harsh hun."

"Mhmm," I nodded. "And I now see that I am much more like her than I ever thought I'd be. I'm surrounded by fakes, except you of course. Am I a fake, Racquel?"

She hesitated for a moment, but my stomach had already dropped to my knees as I anticipated her answer. "You can be, but I think it's because of the fact you're surrounded. You are outwardly seen as some kind of material girl because that's who you are forced to be. But I know different. Strip all that away and put you in a pair of jeans and a comfy t-shirt and you completely transform."

I took a moment to embrace that warm fuzzy feeling that came from knowing I had a true friend beside me. Then I reached over and wrapped my arms around her. "Thank you Racquel! You're the best." I pulled back. "If I ever get like that, if I'm ever untrue to myself, let me know. Smack me upside the head and say 'smarten up', okay?"

She laughed. "Deal!"

* * *

The next evening I was dreading the moment when I'd finally have to talk to my mother. Of course there couldn't be any hugs and kisses, not after almost 2 years being apart. No, instead she just wanted to talk to me, tell me some important news and then have it over and done with. I was thinking about it during dinner, stirring my chocolate pudding around and around in the bowl, and I finally came to a conclusion: The lack of prominent parental figures in my life made my life what it was. I sought out guys for sexual games in order to feel something akin to what I was supposed to get from my parents. They were supposed to give me love and show me what happiness was, but because I'd never known anything like that, I needed to find it elsewhere in my teenage adolescence. It had been a good year and a half since I'd lost my virginity and that was probably one of the reasons Alec had been so into me in the beginning. But after I started to actually feel something more than sex for him, he backed down and I was left broken. I definitely did not like the fact that I was using guys to feel something like happiness or joy in my life, but at the moment I didn't think I had an alternative. I didn't exactly have parents around who were willing to give me that.

As 11 o'clock rolled around I wasn't any less nervous about seeing my mother, and my stomach had tied itself in knots, and I had a small migraine coming on. But on the dot there was a flash of flames and my mother's head appeared in the Gryffindor fireplace.

"Darling!" she said exuberantly. "So lovely to see you."

"You too, Mum."

"Oh do smile, Sadie, you look positively morbid when you frown. Frowning does nothing for ones image. So smile."

I plastered what could only be considered as the fakest smile in the history of the world on my face and hoped it would suffice for my mother.

"Better! Now darling, I know you had news, but I have news as well and I just cannot restrain myself anymore!"

"What is it Mum?"

"I'm getting married!" she almost exploded while saying it, sending sparks flying all over the carpet.

"WHAT!"

"Yes, dear, I said married. His name is Flynn Casey and he's a brilliant director/stage performer. I've been seeing him for a year now and he just proposed last week! I am so excited. We're thinking a Christmas wedding. Do you think your father will let you come down to Australia for a week or two?"

"Uhh…NO!"

"Why? I mean, I know your father is a heartless bastard, but I'm getting married for crying out loud."

"Mum, I got a letter from Dad the other night. That's why I wrote you. He's engaged too, getting married over Christmas. I thought I should tell you. I mean…I didn't think your news would be you're getting married. I can't go to Dad's wedding and your wedding over the same holiday!"

"Why not?" She seemed almost cheerful.

"Because! It's crazy. Candy is going to expect me to be in her bridal party, as is Dad because I'm the face of the company. And you're going to expect me to be in the bridal party—"

"What? No I'm not. Darling, it's going to be a small wedding. Just close friends and family. I wanted my daughter to be there. And it's not like it'll be too difficult for you. The Floo Network will accommodate."

"Mum, look, let me think about it, okay? School is a little crazy and dad's riding my back about the company and Candy and just about everything else in my life. I'll think about coming to Australia over Christmas for a few days."

"Alright darling, that's very reasonable of you. I shall await your reply. Oh Flynn's back from the theatre, must go. Lots of love, kiss kiss, hug hug." And she was gone, just like that.

"Yeah, bye to you too," I muttered. Bringing my hands up to my face, I rubbed the skin in frustration and then ran my fingers through my hair. "Ugh!" I stood up and instead of going up to the dorm room as I should have done, I went out through the portrait hole and down the hall. I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't sit in the common room or in the dorm room either with all the thoughts that were rolling around in my head.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and just walked. I saw a few prefects but they didn't stop and ask me what I was doing outside of my common room. It was an unwritten rule that my father had enforced when I started coming to Hogwarts. I didn't like the fact that I was above everyone else in that sense because it meant preferential treatment and I hated being separated like that. But at times like this, it was on my side.

I wandered down several flights of stairs, heading in no direction in particular. All the thoughts buzzing around in my head were starting to get to me and I kept running my fingers through my hair, pulling and twisting at some strands, as if I could pull the thoughts from my head that way.

Then a voice came from behind me, scaring the crap out of me. "Rough night, Morris?"

"Ahhh!" I screamed and whirled around to face the speaker. "Shit! Malfoy!"

He stood a few feet behind me, not wearing his Hogwarts robes, but simply in a white dress shirt and black trousers. His hair was mussed as if he too had been running his fingers through his hair. And as much as I hated to admit it, he looked really good. I almost felt as if he were exactly the person I wanted to see.

"Didn't mean to scare you," he said coolly.

"Pfft, ya right, you expect me to believe that?"

He sauntered forward so he was standing in front of me now. "Maybe. I ask again, rough night?"

I threw up my hands snapping, "Well yes, if you must know. Turns out that not only is my father marrying a woman young enough to by my sister, but my mother just told me she was engaged to someone. And here's the kicker, they all want to get married over Christmas, which means I get to be thrown right smack dab in the middle. I know that Candy is just marrying my dad for his and my money. My mother didn't say as much, but Flynn Casey sounds like a pompous ass and she's probably marrying him for that exact reason. When did my life get so bogged down by money and appearances and all these hateful people? I just want to go somewhere and never come back! Why can't I do that?"

Draco listened contently to the first part of my rant but when I started talking about wanting to go somewhere and never coming back he stepped forward and put one hand on my shoulder and the other on the side of my head, drawing me into him. I didn't realize until that exact moment that I was crying. My previously flailing hands wrapped around him of their own volition, gripping at the white material of his shirt. All the thoughts that had been swirling around my head just spilled out in the form of salt tears and I was grateful to have someone there to hold me, even if the reality of it seemed to surprise me. He didn't let me go though. He held me to him, one hand around my back and the other on the back of my head as I cried into his shoulder.

I stopped shaking and started to breathe normally again. I loved being in his arms, but it was still too weird so I pulled back, hands going instantly to my face to clear away any remaining tears. He let me go with little effort. I turned slightly to the side and stepped away from him.

"Why are you following me, Draco?" I couldn't help myself from asking.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and shrugged, looking away from me. "Couldn't sleep. Felt uneasy. I needed a walk."

"So you just happened upon me by accident?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "So it would seem. You don't believe me?"

"I'd like to believe you Draco, I really would."

His stare turned dark. "Yes, I suppose I'm not exactly trustworthy."

"That intimidating look doesn't help," I pointed out.

"I thought you said you weren't intimidated by me,"

"I'm not," I countered. "I'm unnerved by you. It's unsettling being near you."

His features tightened slightly and he didn't say anything for a few moments. He was thinking. I could feel the corners of my mouth turn up slightly. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. Then he turned back to face me. "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I told you I'm the same way about you?"

"You're not unsettled by anything or anyone," I said defensively, trying to protect my heart now. I had promised myself I wouldn't get into another mess like Alec and while this had a little more unconventional beginning than what Alec and I had, it was still heading in the same direction.

This time Draco smiled slightly. "You don't really believe that, Sadie, and we both know that."

How had he seen through that? I had seen him unsettled a few times. Usually it had something to do with Harry Potter. Potter was a little weird anyway though. He was a great guy, but I didn't particularly understand what went on in his head at times.

I stood there looking at Draco; the only thing moving between us was the rise and fall of our chests as we breathed. Then, without realizing the words were coming out of my mouth, I said, "Let's go somewhere."

He smiled again, this time it was a smile void of anything dark or intimidating. He reached out for my hand and I took his almost instantly. He started back up the hall and I didn't have to ask him to know where he was taking me. I already knew.

Before we even crashed through the door of the Room of Requirement we were in each other's arms, lips locked together passionately. He pushed me up against the door as it shut behind us, pinning my arms above my head. He drew back and gave me a lustful glare. "I told you you'd come crawling back to me."

I smiled, yanked my arms free in one swift movement and grabbed at the front of his shirt. "And I said you're not allowed to talk to me like that."

"How should I talk to you?" he said, brushed my hair back over my shoulders, his fingers tracing my collarbone.

My intensity slowed to a simmer and I saw the sincerity in his eyes and heard it in his question. He really wanted to know how to talk to me. "Like you mean everything you say, Draco. No sarcastic remarks. Not with me."

"Done," he said, putting his arms around my back, taking a step backwards, pulling me forward with him. "I'm going to take my time then. Mean absolutely everything from here on in."

I felt a shiver zip down my spine. "What do you want from me then?" I couldn't help but smile.

"Be honest with me. You can't hide behind your clothes or your money when you're with me. I know that trick. I use that trick. With me, you're just Sadie."

"Help me find her and she's yours."


	7. Where Lies Blend With Reality

**Chapter Seven: Where Lies Blend With Reality**

"I think I made a mistake," I blurted out, after staring into space for a good ten minutes whilst sitting in the library chewing the end of my quill. Racquel had been sitting beside me the entire time, studiously working on her Potions assignment and I had been looking back and forth between my Charms textbook and the parchment paper in front of me. That was to make it seem like I was busy doing some serious thinking—well I actually had been thinking, but not about Charms.

"You made a mistake, you say," Racquel responded, looking up, "well I don't see how! You haven't even touched your parchment paper. You do realize that's due tomorrow, right?"

I scowled, "I'm not talking about my silly Charms paper," and shoved it back a bit, out of the way on the table.

"Wow, you're cranky. I thought women who got laid were supposed to be the exact opposite; jubilant and ecstatic and joyful." Her tone was dripping with sarcasm.

"Racquel!"

"Sorry, geez." She put her quill down this time and actually looked at me. "What mistake would that be?"

"Well, first one on the agenda today," I said, giving her equal sarcasm, "would be the 'relationship thing' I've got going with Malfoy."

"Hunky Draco?" she smiled. "Why ever would you think that was a mistake?"

"You want a list? How come you're being like this Racquel? You usually have my back?"

"Well you know, you haven't exactly been a barrel of laughs since you started banging Malfoy. You're starting to turn into a right priss. You're all 'Draco this' and 'Draco that' and 'Should I do this or that?' and it's pissing me off. Yes, you have made a mistake, you're getting in too deep and it's messing with our friendship and messing with your head!"

I blinked a few times. "Wow. I don't think you've ever exploded at me like that before."

"No? Well it's about time." She calmed down a bit and spoke in a softer voice. "Sadie, I love you sweetie, you know I do, but you told me to tell you when you were being fake and here it is. I know you told me about how he asked you to be true with him and not hide, but it's like you've completely flipped and are ONLY being true with him and you're showing a mask to the rest of the world."

I sat back and she went back to her Potions paper. Was she right? Had I been showing the fake me to everyone else but Draco now that I'd gotten myself into this quick sand?

I thought back to that night when we'd tumbled together, baring all our secrets without actually saying anything. It was slow and passionate and at the end I actually felt a tear slide down my cheek. I'd fallen asleep in his arms and when I woke he was still there, arm wrapped around me. That morning we talked like I'd only ever talked with Racquel before. I told him things and he told me things…

* * *

_I could feel him holding me close when I woke up and instead of pulling away this time, I hugged closer to him. After last night there really was no point in pulling away. I had seen another side of him completely and deep inside me I felt that I liked this side of Draco Malfoy better than any other. His smug and cruel side challenged me, but this was the more likeable side of him; and I hadn't really gotten to know someone in a long time._

"_I know you're awake," he said again._

"_No I'm not," I mumbled, snuggling my head into the crook between his shoulder and head._

"_Oh no?" I could hear the grin in his voice. Then his voice faded to a more serious tone and he said, "Tell me about your family, Sadie."_

_It was a simple request and while it would feel weird telling anyone else, I didn't get any weird feelings when I opened up my mouth to speak. There's usually that moment where my subconscious gives me a funny feeling telling me 'You should not tell him this' and I close my mouth and say never mind. That never came with Draco though._

"_I'm an only child. My father, Loden Morris, is the CEO of BonneChique, one of the biggest fashion and cosmetics lines in the world, both muggle and wizarding. My mother, Madalynn Corey is an actress currently touring Australia with her theatre troupe. I'm an only child. I am sometimes lucky in that fact, not having any siblings to live the life I do. But I also got lonely very fast. When I was ten my mother left my father, having had enough of his antics. A year later I started going to Hogwarts. I have been the face of BonneChique since I was twelve. My father told me I matured rather quickly and while I was actually twelve at the time, the make-up and clothes they put on me made me look in my late teens. I'm actually embarrassed by some of those photos. I don't have a childhood past the age of twelve._

'_My father is a hard, cruel man. In a sense you remind me of him, but he is much less forgiving than you seem to be. He doesn't care that I have school or friends or a life outside of the company. He seems to think that as his daughter I am at his beck and call."_

"_What about your mother?" Draco asked in a soft voice, running his fingers over my bare back absent-mindedly. It was comforting._

"_Ah yes, Madalynn Corey is a gem all on her own. She's an actress, and has probably had that role her entire life. I've never seen a genuine smile on her face, never heard a genuine laugh. Most of her lines are recycled from plays and roles she's been in. I guess I kind of look like her. Even though I've lived with my father alone since I was ten, I have more of her personality than I'd like. I really don't want either of my parents personalities but if I had to choose between being harsh, cruel, money driven and fake, I'd probably chose fake. It seems the lesser of two evils."_

"_At least you have that choice," he said quietly. I propped myself up at that point, elbow on the bed and hand under my head to give me support. I wanted to look at him as he told me this for some reason. He didn't stop talking as I readjusted myself. He didn't have to tell me their names; I already knew who his parents were, and he knew it too. "My father is the strict, cruel type. He's cruel and sinister and unforgiving. I absolutely hate living with him. But at the same time I respect him because he's my father. Without him I would have nothing."_

"_I've never thought of it like that," I admitted. "I've been under his thumb for far too long to see it any other way I guess. When I turn 17 I'm expecting a great weight to be lifted from me."_

_The corners of his mouth tipped up into the slightest smile. "I don't think it works like that. I wish it were like that though. I think I'll always be in my father's shadow."_

"_You don't have to be," I commented, just saying it as the first thing that came to my mind. _

_His right hand came up and brushed back my wave of brown curls that had fallen over my shoulder. Then his hand traced the line of my shoulder down to my elbow and then back again. "You're right. I don't have to be. Right now though, I'm afraid that if I go against that grain, I'll die." _

_He was being completely serious. I knew that times were dangerous and that while my father had no issues with the things happening, a lot of others did. My father was a powerful man, but he stayed mostly in muggle business and didn't dabble in the dark arts. He wasn't interested in world domination, he just wanted more money._

_I wasn't usually this passionate about things because I tried not to let things get to me, but somehow I managed to say something pretty reasonable and wise. "We all might die, Draco, but usually we have the choices that lead us away from death far before the actual moment. It just takes a perceptive person to see them."_

_He was quiet for a moment. Then he did something I did not expect. He leaned up and kissed me, dragging me down on top again. When he'd finished kissing me, and believe me this was no little peck on the mouth, he looked up at me and said, "You say the strangest things sometimes. But in these strange times they are all quite true."_

_I smiled wide. "Is that a compliment?"_

_He put his head on the back of my neck then and brought me close to his lips and said, "Absolutely," before kissing me deeply again._

_I realized sometime later that we hadn't talked about his mother at all, but I felt sure that we would get to that eventually._

_When we left the Room of Requirement it was dark again, having spent the entire day in there, reveling in each other's company. When we had to move separate ways to our own common rooms he clung to me. It was so cute that he didn't want to let me go. He pushed me up against the cold stone walls of a dark corridor and we had a nice snogging session before he pried himself off of me to go to the Slytherin Common Room. I likewise headed toward Gryffindor._

_When I walked through the door there were very few people there. I saw the Trio (Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley) huddled in the corner speaking in hushed tones but I just rolled my eyes and started climbing the stairs towards my dorm. _

_Racquel was inside, sitting on her bed. Our other dorm mates were there as well so instead of speaking in the room we settled into the attached bathroom, sitting in the bathtub end to end. I spilled my guts and Racquel was quite in shock. She hadn't thought this could ever happen; and quite frankly, neither had I. _

_She warned me not to get my heart too involved, but at that point I knew it was already too late for that. My heart was entwined with Draco's, more intimately than words could describe. I wasn't in love with him; far from it because I still barely knew him, but there was a connection there that could not be explained. _

_During the next day I'd received some dark glares from Draco, but the more I looked the more I realized they weren't 'dark' glares; they were just intense stares from a distance. I would give him a faintly neutral smile in return. I wanted to smile outright, but then everyone would know._

* * *

And that right there is when I turned into a fake, I realized. I was too busy trying to hide the relationship from people that I'd turned my back completely on who I really was. I didn't like that thought at all. I hated the idea of being like my mother even if it's the personality I'd prefer if I had to choose. I didn't want to be cruel and mean and not care about anyone but myself. But in reality, that is exactly what I had done. It's what I had done all year because of how little I could take with my father. But I hadn't even asked Racquel about her family. How selfish was I?

"Racquel, you're right," I said, hearing her scratching at her Potions paper again. "I am being really self-centered and I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"Not yet," she said automatically, not looking up from her paper. "You have to do a little making up for that before I will forgive you."

"How?" I asked quietly, wondering what she might have in mind.

"Girls night."

"That's it?" I gaped at her.

She shook her head, "And you cannot mention Draco Malfoy once!"

I blinked. At one time in my life this would have been totally easy because Draco had never been an issue. But now…

"I am going to turn you back into the old Sadie who is as tough as nails and won't take crap from anybody. This week you've been slacking and it's ruining things for me."

"For you?"

"Yes for me! You are going to get over yourself and Mr. Malfoy and hang out with your girl tonight. We're going to dish about boys, do our nails, pamper ourselves, and forget about homework, your parents and all that jazz. If, and only if, after that you've been sufficiently transformed back into the Sadie I know and love, I'll forgive you. Deal?"

How was I to refuse? "Deal, of course. I realize now that I need a pressure treatment to my attitude and you're the only person who knows the real me the best," and that was so true because I hadn't been with Draco for a week yet, "so I am up for this."

Raquel held out her pinky finger to me and I laughed. We'd done this the first day we met, naïve and eleven years old, pinky-swearing to be best friends for life. I held up my own pinky and linked it with hers.

After the pinky-swear was complete she winked at me and went back to her Potions paper. I looked at her for a few moments, her blonde hair spilling over her shoulder, brushing the table beside the parchment paper. She was careful not to get any ink in it. She was such a good friend and in the past few weeks I had lost sight of that.

I wanted to find the old Sadie again. I didn't know all of who she was and that was the part I had shared with Draco, but in reality, Racquel knew me the best. She had known me the best for five years and even on our first day it had felt like we'd known each other for years. All of a sudden I was excited for spending the night gabbing with Racquel. We hadn't done that in a long time, not since we'd started scheming against Draco. While Racquel had that mischievous side to her, wanting to know what came next with the game of ensnaring the next guy, that had ended the minute I'd slept with him the second time.

I could see it at that point when telling her what I'd done that things had changed and I didn't want that to come between us. Yes I was in some kind of relationship with Draco and it no longer interested her the way our game with him had, but she was still my best friend and I'd hoped our friendship would withstand this whatever I had with Draco. I still wanted her support in my problems.

But, and I do know this, despite what people may think, I know that to receive this support I had to give some in return. So tonight would be all about Racquel, and I wouldn't waver that resolve for a second. She deserved twice as much as she gave me because I dealt out a lot of shit that she helped with.

On that note, I shoved Draco Malfoy from my mind and pulled my Charms textbook and parchment back towards me. Maybe this was exactly the remedy I needed in order to actually accomplish something this year. As much as I couldn't get Draco off my mind, perhaps I needed to try harder right now to sort out the other parts of my life that I'd fallen short on, like my friendship with Racquel. Draco could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, Racquel had her best friend back. And with any luck, my best friend would be able to find me again. I'd lost her somewhere along the way and I needed her again.


	8. Fighting Back

**Chapter ****Eight: ****Fighting ****Back**

I left the library with Racquel at my side, books clutched to my chest, quite looking forward to the night ahead with her. She was my best friend and tonight would be the first time in a long time that we actually spent any quality time with one another, aside from homework and Draco-talk.

And it was as if his ears were burning because no sooner had I thought his name did he breeze around the corner, all suave and sexy. He took my breath away. I'd have to tell him what was going on. "Racquel, can I talk to him for a few minutes. I'll catch up with you."

She didn't look impressed but she nodded and continued on her way. Draco, who was not alone when he turned the corner, made eye contact with me and then his eyes darted towards the empty classroom on my right. I inclined my head and slipped inside. I sat down on the table top of one of the desks and proceeded to wait for the few minutes that it would take for Draco to get rid of his lackeys.

This was usually how it worked. It was either him instigating the meeting or it was me. More often it was him than me however, and that thought just now bothered me. It felt like he was now running this show that I had started.

The door creaked open and he slid inside. He waved his wand at the door and locked it. I raised an eyebrow at him. I guess he thought he was getting a little snogging in. Well he had other things coming to him because that was not why I was here. He walked over to me confidently (Merlin I love a confident guy) and brushed my knees aside to stand between them as I still sat on the desk, clutching my books to my chest.

He reached up and tried to take them from me but I held firm.

"What's going on?" he asked, confused.

"That's not why I'm in here Draco."

This time he raised his eyebrow. "Why are you in here then, Sadie? It's just us two."

I gave him a crooked smile, "Yes I know it's just us two. I'm here to tell you that I can't spend tonight with you."

His face suddenly hardened. "What?" he said harshly and with and edge.

I kept myself level and calm. He had no reason to get mad at me. "I'm spending tonight in my dorm with Racquel. I will sleep alone tonight."

"The hell you will!" he said, his voice getting louder.

"I will!" I said more firmly. "You don't own me Draco, you can't dictate what I do and don't do with my life. I don't have to spend every night with you. I enjoy our time together but I will not let you control me."

He reached up fast and grabbed hold of my forearms, shaking my a little. "I do control you. I began controlling you from the very first kiss."

"If that's really what you think then I take it all back!" I yelled in his face, shoved him back and stood before him. "You were nothing more than an irritation, _Malfoy,_ and I will not let that irritation control my life."

I pushed past him but he swiveled and grabbed my arm again and swung me back. His arm came up around my back hard and he crushed me to his body. "I am more than an irritation to you, Sadie, and you know that," he growled.

"What I know," I began saying slowly, "is that this was a mistake. I will not go from one controlling relationship to another. You can't cage me, Draco, and that's exactly what you think you've done."

I was furious. I shucked off his arm, whipped my hair around, probably hitting him in the face and stalked towards the door. My wand arm flipped out and the door opened. I walked through and slammed the door behind me. I marched up the corridor and around the corner.

I made it to the sixth floor before the fury and anger subsided and the reality of what had just happened sunk in. Draco had thought he could clap his hands and I would come running. I guess he hadn't seen that coming had he? He was a little worm to think he could get away with something like that. After all I'd told him about my father and my mother and my life in general, he still thought he could put me under his thumb. After all we'd shared I still couldn't believe this had happened. I thought he wanted a companion, someone to share things with. But what he was really after was someone he could control as his father controlled him.

Well I wasn't having that. I shook it off and decided that anyone who thought like that was not worth my time. At the beginning I'd thought he would be perfect for getting some excess stress out of my system. He just turned into a little fling and then an annoyance, how fitting. Just once I'd like to find someone who was interested in me for me. Not me for my father's money. Not me because they're looking for a power trip. Me for me, and no more. And I want them to fall for what's on the inside, not what's on the outside.

When I got back to the common room and saw Racquel I tried my utter best to keep what just happened bottled inside. This was just the exact opposite of what she had wanted to do tonight. I hoped that I could get through the night without slipping Draco's name, let alone what he had just done.

"Hey girl!" I greeted her. "What's first on the agenda?" I gave her a big smile, crossing my fingers behind my back that the smile didn't look as fake as it was.

"Tuck those books under your bed and then we'll pull out the mani-pedi set, ok? My cuticles are dying for some attention." She held up her hands to show me her nails.

I laughed, "Oh dear me. Well you first then and then me."

"Absolutely!"

* * *

As it turned out, it was easy to forget about Draco and how he'd acted when I was with Racquel. She made it look so easy, giving herself completely to the task at hand (and foot) and then when the manicures and pedicures were done, we shifted on to hair braiding and talking about her family.

Racquel had two brothers that were older than her; one aged twenty-one and one aged twenty-six. Julian and André were really great guys and had really great careers going for them. Julian worked as freelance photographer, of all things, and André worked with magical creatures all over the world, including unicorns and dragons. I have never told her this, but I have secretly had a little girl crush on Julian since forever. Well, since the first time we met.

Her parents, Raphael and Marie, both had successful careers but were now retired, enjoying their accumulated wealth on a family estate just outside of Essex. Both our families came from money, but if our parents were to disown us (hers never would though my father might) we'd still be perfectly happy. If we took away all the fancy clothes and money we'd still be who we've always been. And whereas my mother and father had the money and used it for power and personal gain, Raphael and Marie were the least superficial people I knew. They hardly ever used their wealth. They supported about a dozen charities, both locally in England as well as abroad wherever their business had taken them in earlier years. Their estate in Essex was their one big splurge for all their hard work and as estates went, it was a very modest country home with plenty of room for guests and entertaining while not being too exuberant.

And while they were wealthy in their own right, Racquel's parents always encouraged their children to do their own thing. It was plain to see that Julian and André had taken that advice to heart and gone their own way in their careers, doing what they loved to do best. I didn't know what Racquel was planning on doing just yet, but I had faith that she would find her own path.

I loved my best friend and I wanted all good things for her. There were times that we hated each other, but then times like this, when we forced each other to forget the problems in our lives, we reconnected and found our friendship again.

I was sitting on my bed early in the morning, thinking about everything we'd talked about, and all the things were said and I was thankful that Racquel had made me do it. But now that the sun was starting to rise and it was a new day I started to worry about my problem with Draco again. It wasn't so much a problem I guess, it was more of an irritation I had to work through, just like I'd yelled at him. He thought he could control me, but also like I'd said, I wouldn't let him do that. I had begun to let him though, going to him whenever he asked and not thinking for myself. I had succumbed to being in that tormenting relationship and lost myself in it, when I had planned on coming out on top.

I didn't think I could let it end as it had however. I would have to find Draco and explain things so that he understood. I couldn't let some other unsuspecting girl getting wound up in that nonsense and so I'd try to fix the problem first before warning off any girl who showed the slightest interest, not that there were many I would imagine, it being Draco and all.

But…I wouldn't go to him right away. There was no point because that would just give him the biggest ego boost, thinking I'd come "crawling back". I would wait, leave him to drive himself into a fury about not getting his way, and then knock him back twenty feet just to put a fine point to it. I was done taking it lying down. I'd always been a fighter and the past weeks hadn't seen much of the fighter-Sadie. Well she was about to come at life with her claws out. At the thought I started to smile.

"What are you smiling about?" a voice said to the right of me.

I turned to see Racquel had woken up and was looking at me. "Morning," I greeted.

"Morning…what are you smiling about?" she asked again.

I flipped my blankets aside and went to wrap my arms around her. She hugged me back hesitantly. I pulled back. "I'm about to fight back."

She then smiled widely. "It's about damn time!" she exclaimed.

"Life wants to kick me down, I'm gonna kick back. And it starts with my mother."

"Your mother?"

"Yup. She wants me to come down to Australia for a few days for her wedding, well she's gonna have to earn it!"

Racquel looked skeptical. "How?"

"You'll see," I winked back at her.

She did a little fist pump and said, "Yes! My Sadie is back!"

I nodded, "And this time she won't get lost."

* * *

"Professor McGonagall?"

"Yes Miss Morris, please come in." Professor sat behind her large oak desk, her hair twisted into a bun at the back of her head with a stern look on her face. I had long ago forgotten to be intimidated by her however and so the stern look only fueled my mission.

"I was hoping to talk to you about arranging transportation for me to visit my mother this weekend." I said coolly, holding her gaze.

"This weekend? And I didn't know your mother had sent for you. Usually it goes through the school first, Miss Morris."

"I understanding, Professor. My mother gave me notice the other day that she was engaged to be married. I need to speak to her however. I know it's unorthodox but I was hoping you could arrange a short visit for me."

I had been to my mother's Australian home once before since she had left when I was ten. I wasn't letting her know I was coming this time however; she needed a little reality check.

I'll have to double check with the Headmaster, Miss Morris, but I will see what I can do." She looked reluctant to do and I knew she only agreed because of my father's wealth and power in the wizarding world. There wasn't a man in the world who could intimidate Albus Dumbledore, but he had always remained calm about it, knowing that it really wasn't a great deal. My father provided a lot of funding towards the school in any case and Loden was never beneath mentioning it to the great Albus Dumbledore when his will was contested.

"Thank you, Professor," I said to McGonagall.

"You're welcome, Sadie. Please congratulate your mother for me."

"I will," I answered automatically.

I turned to leave but then her voice stopped me again. "Can I ask you a question Sadie?"

I turned back, "Professor?"

"Are you happy at home?" I just stared. "I know it's not my place to ask, and I don't have the right to pry into your family life, but I have seen you leave from this office, and arrive again to notice the look on your face. You look exhausted. Are you not happy at home?"

I took a few moments. It really wasn't her place to ask or pry, but she was a professor and I felt like I could trust her. It didn't feel like an intrusion. It was more like I was talking to a family friend. I had seen more of Minerva McGonagall than any other professor at Hogwarts and while we weren't always friendly, I suppose I sometimes considered her as a friend.

"I haven't been happy at home since I was very little, Professor," I finally said. "My parents divorced right before I came to Hogwarts and since then I have seen very little of my mother and too much of my father. I cannot shirk the responsibilities of the company because he relies on me too much, but I would rather not go at all. I feel like I am perhaps missing parts of my adolescence because of him."

"And your mother?"

"She is too wrapped up in her own life to care about mine."

"And so what is the purpose of this visit, if I may ask?"

I nodded, "I don't mind telling you. I am going to remind her that I am still her daughter and that from time-to-time I'd like her to step back from her theatrical and drama-filled little life to see the only real thing she has in her life: me. I have never once seen my mother being truly sincere; it's always been an act. If she's going to get married and wants me to be there for the ceremony, I want her to stop acting. If she doesn't then I won't have anything to do with her."

McGonagall absorbed what I had said and nodded her head. "I will make the arrangements. You can leave Friday night after your classes finish."

"Thank you Professor."

"You're welcome. Don't ever hesitate to come speak to me, Sadie. I will always listen."

"Thank you."

"Have a good day."

"You too."


	9. Standing Ground

**Chapter ****Nine:**** Standing ****Ground**

I didn't have any doubts about what I was doing when I stepped into the fireplace on that Friday. I was going to tell my mother once and for all that I wouldn't be babied, I wouldn't accept her acting as real any longer, and that if she wasn't truly in love with this man, I wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore.

I hated the idea of never having that mother-figure in my life, but really, I hadn't had one for the past six years of my life, what made this any different. I hardly heard from her, I hardly EVER saw her. This would be the first time I would see my birth mother in the last two years. Strange though that I hadn't had the compulsion before this moment to call her out on her shit and tell her that this wasn't a real mother-daughter relationship. If she wanted me in her life, as her daughter, she had to take me in more than just small doses.

I saw my father more often than I saw my mother, and I would rather see a lot less of him. It would be a much less stressful way to live my life, though I doubted my mother's life was any less hectic. She was an actress and actresses' lives were always busy, whether they wanted them to be or not.

But still, my mother would find the time to see me this weekend or she would lose all future experiences with me. I didn't want to be my parents' estranged daughter, but if they pushed me away who was I to push back. I just hoped that I didn't regret that loss one day. There would probably be times when I wouldn't like being without a mother, but it would be better than her popping in and out of my life unexpectedly, and probably at the most inconvenient times.

If I was arriving at an inconvenient time for Madalynn Corey then maybe she'd know how I felt every time she swept into my life at random moments.

I took a deep breath as I stepped into McGonagall's office fireplace and then dropped the handful of Floo Powder, saying my mother's Australia address and then POOF I was off.

I reached my destination in mere seconds and stepped out of my mother's fireplace (a necessity in every witch's household, even if she didn't light fires) and then through the Clean Screen (also a must-have to any fashionable high-society runner). The floors were a cool white tile that covered the entire expansive open-concept house. To my right was the living area with red and black sofas with matching pillows, expensive oak furnishings and décor to match. To my left was a half wall that lead into the kitchen of black and stainless-steel appliances that I'm sure my mother never touched. I walked past both to where the sliding-doors were opening out onto a large flag-stone patio that encompassed a large oblong pool that glittered like crystal in the late Friday afternoon sun.

I slid the screen door and walked out. I could see my mother lounging on a chaise lounge underneath an umbrella and then just past her was the wet-bar, with a tall man standing behind, mixing up what looked like martinis. My mother's favorite drink.

Neither one had noticed my entrance, but since I had been there before—once—the alarms hadn't gone off alerting them of my presence. So I stood there, willing myself to not tap my stiletto heel on the flagstones (shoes I had worn specifically because they made me taller than my 5'7" mother by an inch and a half. I waited.

The man behind the bar, whom I could only assume was Flynn Casey, my mother's intended, looked up then and nearly sloshed the drinks all over the bar when he jumped at the sight of me. I bit my lip to stifle my laughter.

"What's the matter, Flynn?" my mother's voice drifted to my ears as she spoke. She saw Flynn's startled look and then turned herself to see exactly what had startled him. Me. "Sadie!" she exclaimed, clearly as startled as Flynn had been. She flung to her feet and started towards me. Immediately I saw her annoyance flash into a bit smile. She was acting again.

"Mother," I greeted her, not moving a muscle. She looked exactly the same as she had two years ago when I'd seen her. Her brown hair, the same shade as mine, was fashionably cut and I knew behind her sunglasses were the eyes that I had inherited from her. I was almost the spitting image of my mother only several years younger of course. While my mother didn't exactly look her age, she did in fact look twenty years older than me, as she should.

She reached her arms out, "How lovely to see you!" She embraced me lightly, as if I were going to get germs on her or something. I made not gesture to hug her back. "Flynn," she said, stepping aside to present me, "this is my daughter, Sadie."

Flynn had since set the glasses down and come to stand on the other side of the bar. Then he came forward, out of the shade and I got a really good look at him. His hair was black with grays coming in on either side of his temples. He had a narrow but shapely nose and curved lips. He was tall, probably about 6 feet 2 inches with broad shoulders and he was by no means lean or chubby. He had nice features and I immediately distrusted him. Nobody that good-looking could be real. He held out his hand to me, and out of courtesy I took it. "Sadie, it's nice to finally meet you. Madalynn always says she has a daughter but I was beginning to think she had made you up." His blue eyes twinkled behind his dark lashes.

"She talks about me?" I inquired politely, briefly pondering over the fact of what else my mother could possibly have made up about me.

He inclined his head, "Every now and again. There is also a picture of you on her bedside table. You were younger then of course, about ten or eleven, but still, the resemblance is remarkable."

Well now that was surprising. I guess I had missed that little artifact when I was here two years ago. A picture of me on her bedside table? When had my mother gotten so sentimental?

"Do you live here?" I asked Flynn, disregarding polite small-talk and getting right to the balls of the matter, as it were.

Flynn chuckled and I sneaked a sideways glance to find my mother looking rather uncomfortable. Good, I hoped I made her sweat a little bit. Flynn shook his head, "No I have a place in the city. It doubles as my production studio at the same time, so it's very convenient."

"Mother said you're a director?" I asked, still trying to get a feel for this guy. He was unusual and not at all how I had pictured him. He was also just wearing a short-sleeve polo-T and blue cut-off jeans. Definitely not my mother's thing.

"Yes, I direct, but I dabble in pretty much anything with regards to the stage or fine arts. I'm also a successful painter though only locally."

Interesting. While it should sound like bragging, it didn't sound like that at all. I would reserve my judgment until later about Mr. Flynn Casey, until I got to know him better, but I was getting good vibes, and that was a good start. But still my mother looked uncomfortable.

"What's wrong Mum?" I asked sweetly.

Her eyes snapped to me and I saw a moment's panic (I was getting much better at reading her) before it smoothed over and she lied through her teeth. "Nothing dear. This is just such a surprise. Shall I make up the spare room for you? Are you staying the night?"

"Yes please. You aren't busy right?" I watched closely for tell-tale signs of her lies and caught a few; the vein pulsing in her temple, the shaky smile that quivered up and down when she didn't say anything.

She was confident in her acting however, which made her such a good pretender. "I actually have a gala tonight I must attend, but you're free to stay the night. I suppose Flynn and I will be back tomorrow morning some time," she looked at Flynn for affirmation…and yet got none.

"Madalynn, you don't need to attend tonight. It will probably bore you anyway," Flynn told her calmly, coming over and putting his arm around her, making her look much smaller than she actually was. "Stay here with your daughter—catch up—I'm sure you two have lots to discuss."

I raised my eyebrows as I saw my mother first twitch at the idea but then settle into Flynn's big arms. Brownie points to Flynn Casey, I decided. Here was a man who tore at my mother's cool and collected exterior and poked and prodded at her gooey interior. I knew my mother had always been a softie, I was exactly like her in that sense, but I had never actually witnessed it before.

She turned from looking at him to looking at me again. "Of course I'll stay," she nodded. She looked upset about it, but said nothing more on the subject.

Oh mommy-dearest, what have you gotten yourself into? I thought. She had been all excited about marrying Flynn when I talked to her last Saturday night, and now she looked extremely nervous. It was time for me to poke and prod at that exterior and see what I could draw from her.

* * *

Racquel saw the dark and foreboding look that Draco was casting across the Great Hall at her and rolled her eyes. He had been looking over her way every five minutes for the last hour, no doubt looking for Sadie who was obviously not going to show up. She didn't know what his problem was, but he was starting to irritate her. Didn't Sadie tell him she was going away for the weekend?

Come to think of it, Sadie hadn't mentioned anything about Draco the last few days before she left. It was like the night she had spent with Racquel had erased him from her memory. And yet…Racquel knew Sadie was sneakier than that. She must have been hiding the fact that she and Draco had had a fight. Secretly Racquel was smiling, but outwardly she was frowning. What had Draco done to Sadie?

She got up, said goodbye to Hermione, whom she had been lunching with in Sadie's absence, and glared at Draco as she walked out of the Great Hall. With any luck…

There, the fast-paced thump of shoes on the floor behind her alerted her to his presence. She spun around in a little alcove to face him. "What did you do to Sadie?"

Draco glowered at her. "What did I do to HER?" he scoffed. He was clearly upset, Racquel noticed. But he was also frustrated.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "She's really gotten you all worked up, hasn't she?"

"No!" he lied.

She couldn't help herself, but she soon found herself smiling at him. "You can't lie worth shit," she pointed out. "But that's fine. I'm sure you'll work it out."

"I don't want to work it out!" he yelled and pushed Racquel up against the alcove wall. "She's a bitch!"

Racquel was taken aback but she it took her a second to recover and she pushed him right back. "Listen, Malfoy, don't push me. Nobody pushes me!"

"Ugh, you're just like Sadie," once he'd regained his footing from Racquel's little shove.

It dawned on her just then what was really going on. Draco had probably pushed Sadie, if not physically then mentally, and knowing Sadie, she pushed right back. Now instead of feeling sorry for the bastard for being bitten bad by the love-bug, she was pissed at him for trying to shove her best friend around.

She grabbed onto the front of his robes and whirled him around, his full body weight heaving into the stone wall that had initially been behind her. He spun and had his wand out in seconds. Racquel was quicker however and had her wand pointed at his temple. "Listen, scum, Sadie has lived her whole life under her parent's thumbs, and I thought that you, of all people, would understand what that felt like! But I guess like father, like son. You are no better than him, constantly pushing people down, trying to _control_ them! And while I'm glad you finally met your match in Sadie Morris, I also know that if you continue to be such an ignorant asshole you are never going to win her!"

"Who says I want to win her?" he flung back at her.

Racquel moved her wand-tip from his temple to underneath his chin, forcing him to look directly into her eyes. "I may be blond, Draco, but I'm not stupid. You have been looking for her, even though she told you to get lost. Well she's not actually on Hogwarts grounds right now, so good luck! But when she gets back and she finally tells me what went down between you two, if she doesn't want you, I don't want you near her. And you can bet your skinny pathetic ass that I'm going to stand behind her every step of the way, got it?"

His eyes flashed something akin to surprise though it was too brief to make any measurable dent in Racquel's fierce anger. "She didn't tell you about our fight?" Draco muttered.

Racquel rolled her eyes. Draco really was pathetic sometimes. "No, she didn't. I took her away from you that one night and you flipped shit, didn't you? And when you did that she wriggled free and flung every back at you. She's gotten her act together and has gone to see her mother this weekend."

"Her mother?"

"Yes, her mother, not that you need to know. But because I think you're feeble right now, I'm going to tell you."

"I don't wanna—"

"Well that's too bad, because I'm gonna tell you. Her mother is a fake; a liar, and for her entire life, Sadie has been force-fed crap. She's never known anything true in her life except for this place. Her father is a manipulative bastard, which I'm sure you're aware of, and she hasn't had it all that easy. She doesn't have to choose between life and death like you, but she knows what it's like to feel as small as humanly possible. So, thumb off, and treat her with a little respect. Because you, Malfoy, are the only person who knows what it's like and actually gives a damn!"

"I don't—" he started.

"Oh shut up!" Racquel interrupted, pressing her wand over his grim lips. "Don't lie to me! I am Sadie's friend. So don't lie to her either, or I will find you." She took the wand away from him and took a step back.

"Threatening me, Laroche?" Despite the comment, Draco almost smiled.

Racquel gave the slightest smile in return. "Making a promise, Malfoy. There's a difference when it comes to the people you care about."

"Is that so?"

"Damn straight. Now get out of my sight, I'm sick of looking at you." She stepped aside to let him pass and even as she said the harsh words she gave him a knowing look.

Nodding his head he walked past her and pocketed his wand. He wouldn't cross her, no matter what demons he was fighting, both with his parents and with Sadie. Sadie meant too much to both of them and neither would let her get hurt.


	10. Fears Alike

**Chapter Ten: Fears Alike **

When Flynn left us to go to the city it was like the tension mounted by tenfold. My mother had melted in his arms when he'd hugged and kissed her to leave but as soon as the door shut I saw her shoulders tense from behind and when she turned I saw the placid and calm look. At that I lifted my chin higher and continued to stare directly at her. I bet that scared the crap out of her. I was not like this the last time she had seen me—in person at least. The other night when she'd visited me via Floo Network in the common room was too brief and she had been acting the entire time. She had been prepared for that. This should had not been prepared for, so her guard was up in a flash.

It was weird, since dating Draco I had almost become an expert at reading people. Before this, before Draco, I would never have been able to pick out the emotions that were playing across my mother's face before she put her "actor's face" on, for her own daughter no less. Usually it was that family let guards down for other family, but no, it was the opposite with Madalynn. She would slip into her acting shoes any time she thought someone might get beneath that perfect skin of hers. I used to be the same—with the exception of Racquel who I'd known for years, and more recently, Draco.

"Sadie, what, may I ask, possessed you to come here?" she asked, smooth and steady as she stepped back from the front door and down the white tile steps that lead down into the living area.

I raised an eyebrow. "You mean you're not happy to see me, Mommy-dearest?"

Her actors face cracked briefly. "Don't toy with me Sadie!"

I turned away from her and walked towards the sitting area. I kicked off my heels and my feet breathed thankfully as they touched the cool tile. "Since you're clearly beyond beating around the bush, Mother, I'll tell you, plain and simple." I turned back and crossed my arms. "I'm here to give you an ultimatum."

She laughed shortly, "Ha, is that so?"

I did not waiver. "Yes, that is how it's going to be. You asked me to come down for your wedding at Christmas, correct?"

She nodded her head once.

"Well here it is then: I will come to your wedding, over Dad's, _if_ you can tell me that you genuinely love this man and that you're not just putting on a façade to make him like you." I could already tell that she liked him far more than she had ever liked my father, but I wanted to see if she could pull down the act for me, her only child.

She rolled her eyes. "Really Sadie? That's just ridiculous. I don't have to prove it to you."

"Very well," I nodded, "then I shan't be coming to your wedding. Nor shall I tolerate your popping into my life every so often when you feel it's convenient for you. I am cutting you off, Mother."

"Cutting me off?" she laughed. "Don't be such a child!"

"So says the woman who can act petulant child to a T whenever she doesn't get the part she wants." She said nothing. "I'm not being a child. I'm making a choice. You don't get to decide anymore when I'm your daughter and when I'm not. I am not a stage-hand at your beck-and-call to hand you things whenever you want them."

"I do not—"

"You do too!" I cut her off. "'Come to my wedding on New Years!' Nothing more than that and it pisses me off."

"You're being completely unreasonable." She came over and stood behind the white sofa that I was standing in front of. The only thing between us was that white sofa, keeping us three feet apart from each other to prevent blood-shed.

"Am I? Is it so wrong to want a little involvement from my mother in my life when _I_want it? Is it so unreasonable to dislike not seeing my own mother for two years at a time? I really don't think so." I paused. "And is it so unreasonable for me to want to see my mother in her true form, no lies, no mask, no nothing, and know that she is actually happy?"

"Of course I'm actually happy," she snapped.

I rolled my eyes, "Right, now that's convincing. I'm not leaving until either I know you're happy, or you agree to never contact me again."

"Sadie, I am your Mother—"

"Madalynn, I am your daughter," I cut her off again, "and it sometimes shames me to admit it because I don't really know anything about you. You have conveniently kept yourself closed off from my. So what makes you think you deserve anything but the same courtesy? Take it or leave it."

I saw her falter for about twenty seconds before she turned on her heels in the direction of the hallway. "I'll make up the spare room for you," she called over her shoulder.

I sighed in frustration. She was a stubborn old bird but at least she hadn't turned me down right from the start. She was at least considering the ultimatum, which showed something for her character. Perhaps she really did care about me. Perhaps I wasn't just unfortunate furniture in her life that she had to deal with. Maybe I was more than baggage to her.

* * *

My mother never had been much of a cook, so for dinner she used the little magic she would concede to using and the kitchen utensils picked themselves up and danced around the pristine room, slicing and dicing and cooking. I sat on a bar stood watching the organized madness with a small smile. It reminded me of the nights at home when I was younger.

We'd always had a cook, but on the nights that he had the night off my mother would take over, usually out of necessity because my father was hungry and refused to cook anything himself. She would wink at me as she conducted the orchestra of our Victorian home kitchen. It was only after she'd moved out and I had started being at school 10 out of the 12 months of the year that my father sold the Victorian and bought the penthouse condo in the city. Despite all the bad memories I recalled, I also remembered many good times in that house. I was younger and naïve so perhaps they weren't actually as good as their reality, but I like to think that we were once a happy family.

"Cook much?" I asked.

She glanced my way briefly and then turned back to her magic. "Not often, no. This'll be the first time in the last month. Usually Flynn and I are out at a function or benefit performance."

"Not acting right now?"

"No, I've decided to break for the season," she sniffed. I rolled my eyes. "I have more important matters to attend to."

"Such as?"

"I have a wedding to plan, Sadie."

"Not hiring a wedding planner?" That would have been her usual taste I would imagine. She wasn't exactly someone to fuss with plans like seating or flower arrangements.

"Flynn didn't think it was necessary. We aren't inviting many people. Family, friends and a few select Theatre Union dignitaries. Simple."

"Is simple your style?"

That seemed to strike a nerve because everything in the kitchen halted what it was doing. She turned and looked me square in the eye. "I don't think you know me that well Sadie, to be making comments like that."

"First," I said, "it was a question, not a comment. And second, whose fault is that, _Mother_."

"I'm not having this conversation with you!" she turned back to the task of cooking via magic.

"Uh yeah, you kind of are," I remarked.

"Don't be a smart ass!" she snapped.

I admitted to myself that saying that was probably a little immature and I would try to not to do that in the future. There was something about my mother's nature that just brought out the worst in me. I wanted to act like a child again, and when she refused me something I would kick and scream until I got it. I had to remember that I was there as her guest though and that I wasn't trying to create a rift between us, but perhaps create some sort of stable bridge for us to communicate on.

I stood up from the stool and then walked over to the patio doors. Beyond the flagstone patio and oblong pool there was a wide expanse of greenery. The house was located on a hill and looked down over an expanse of rolling hills and short shrubberies. There were a few taller trees that stood at the edge of the house to create some shade over the pool area, but aside from that it was hills for miles.

I had been all over the world in my childhood with both my mother and father, but this was a much different place from anywhere I'd ever been before. I hadn't realized I'd spoke the words until my mother spoke from behind me. "Well you're a long way from England, of course it's different."

"You haven't been to England in years."

"I was in England last month, Princess." My eyes widened at the use of my nickname. When my father said my nickname it was in substitution of my real name, which he refused to call me anymore except in anger. When she said it though, there was almost a hint of affection.

"You were in England?" I blinked, suddenly upset. "And you didn't come to see me!"

"It's not all about you. I was only there for a few nights and didn't have enough time to get to you. Besides, England has…changed." She wrapped her arms around herself as if cold. "It's much different than I remembered."

It dawned on me. "Is that why you're staying here, Mum? Because of how dark it's gotten in England."

She nodded and for the first time I saw real fear spread across her face. I hadn't thought my mother could be afraid of anything, she was such a tough woman, and yet there, it was written plainly. "I remember the first time this happened. It rocked the very foundations of what we knew in this world. Some would call me a coward by running, but I see it as survival. If I had to stand and fight again I know I would not live to see the end. I'm not that strong. I'm an actress, and I'm good at what I do, but I would never be that good, if that's what it came down to."

There, those cracks in her resolve. It was the one genuine glimpse of the woman my mother was and I almost started crying. I held back though. I looked away. "At Hogwarts I feel safer, but even there the darkness has crept through the stone walls. I feel worse every time Dad makes me leave the school to go to the city for the weekend. It's like he's not even worried about this impending war. From the things they're saying in the Prophet, this war will change everything."

"Again."

"Sometimes I'd like to run away from my responsibilities there," I confided. "But I know that I only have so long before Dad can't order me around. But I would think that the fact You-Know-Who has returned would frighten him a little bit."

"It does," my mother replied quietly. I turned and she was smiling a little. Not sadistically, but knowingly, and with a little love for her ex-husband. "Your father was brought up in much the same way I was."

"How is that?" I asked.

"Come eat your dinner and I'll tell you."


	11. Listening

**Chapter Eleven: Listening**

It was rare when I actually wanted to listen to my mother because a lot of what had come out of her mouth before was bullshit that she was just stringing together to sound good. But the story of her and my father's upbringing was something I had never heard before and I was very curious.

"Your father's father, your grandfather, was about as harsh a man as your father is. The way they were both raised dictates how they act and thus dictates his actions towards you. I know that your father always wanted a boy to add to the generations of tough-as-nails men in the family, but when you were born he took on a cold reserve thinking that you would be just as tough. And you are. But you are also a little part of me.

'My father, your grandpa, was just as harsh. But the difference there was my mother had spirit too and fought back. When I was born my mother told him straight that he would learn to be a sweeter, more understanding man or else she would never leave him alone with me. Well that helped me for the first seventeen years of my life, until my mother died. I had finished school by then, but the world was changing, just as it is now, and I was afraid. My father saw this and started his tutelage right away, forcing me to hide the pain or fear I felt. Soon enough I learned to hide away all my emotions. He used to say that emotions were weakness and they could be used against me. I didn't believe him until one night."

She looked down as if it pained her to speak further, but still she continued. "I was studying in the library; my father kept me well read and quizzed me on my subjects daily. At 19 it was a little odd, but I felt safe at home. At least up until then I had.

'Anyway, I was studying and I heard crashing glass from without the library and I ran to investigate. I saw three men draped in black climbing through the window. I froze. They saw me then and I turned to flee. But they soon caught up with me and forced me to take them to my father.

'He was in his study and when we entered he jumped to his feet and demanded the men release me but the men just cackled. I stood stalk still, refusing to fight. I remember somewhere in my mind thinking of my mother and how she would have fought back but the look on my father's face told me not to try. So I didn't. I watched as the Death Eaters tortured my father for information, driving him to insanity. I even felt the sting of the Cruciatus Curse myself, only briefly and not once did I scream out for either of us."

I was staring at my mother in horror, listening to her relay this to me. "How is it possible I did not know this?"

She shook her head, "I had buried it so deep down inside myself that I thought it was only a dream for a long time. I buried it beneath all the plays and stage directions and lines. I wanted to forget it. I've only told one other person about this, Sadie."

"Who? Dad?"

She shook her head again. "No. Flynn."

"Why didn't you tell Dad?" I asked, though I already instinctively knew the answer.

"Your father is so much like my father that even if I told him it would have made little difference. I was never looking for pity from him. I think I originally married him because he could protect me. But my father hadn't protected me in the end. I watched my father die that night. Can you really imagine I wanted to tell Loden? Knowing your father he would have just sniffed and continued with his work. He was never the most affectionate person."

I could understand that one, loud and clear. "And Flynn?"

At this the corners of my mother's eyes wrinkled as she smiled a little. "Flynn is very different."

"How?" I found myself smiling along with her.

"He's kind to me Sadie. He's the gentlest man I have ever met. He listens to me, actually listens. It's not like I'm talking to a brick wall because when I talk, he talks back." She lit up with each word of praise. "He's generous, not just as a man, but as a companion, and I don't have to worry about ever being ignored for other commitments. Finally here is a man who is my equal."

"You really do love him, don't you?" I blinked back tears. I had never seen my mother like this, but I found myself drawn to her. She was actually my mother in this moment; she had transformed before my eyes into the mother I had never really known or understood.

"I really do, Princess. He means the world to me."

"I'm glad, Mum. I really am. That's all I really wanted to know."

Her smile brightened even more and she leaned off her stool and wrapped her arms around me in what I can honestly say was the first genuine hug she had ever given me. I hugged her right back and let the tears of happiness wash down my face.

She pulled back away. "So does this mean you'll be at my wedding?"

I brushed back the falling tears, smiling and nodding, "Of course, Mum. I'll be right beside you the entire time."

She gave a sigh of relief. "Good, because I can honestly say I don't know how I would do it without you." She chuckled a little, "I'm scared out of my wits here. I don't want to act but I know put on the spot like that I will slip right into that. I know Flynn wouldn't mind, but I'd like to be as true as I can be in that moment if no other."

"I know what you mean Mum." I smiled. "We'll work on it. I need to work on that myself. Life at Hogwarts isn't as simple as it used to be."

She raised an eyebrow. "Boy troubles?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

The corners of her eyes crinkled with her smile and I found myself telling her all about it.

* * *

The one thing he always noticed about coming home, no matter how many times he was away, was how cold it could get in his house. Never once had he returned to a warm, brightly lit house. It was always shrouded in darkness, and when he stepped through the door a chill would pass up his spine and his shoulders would straighten.

This time was no different.

He walked through the main entrance, through the set of double doors in front of him and then up the stone staircase that lead to the main room of the house where he knew his parents would be convening, awaiting his arrival. I'm sure they would not be pleased at his making them wait, but his mind was not occupied on their wrath at the moment.

He stepped into the room to find his mother sitting in a high-back burgundy-colored velvet chair by the fireplace. His father stood on the opposite side of the mantle with his back facing the door.

"Tardiness is a most unbecoming quality," his father spoke low and turned to face his son. Draco's face hardened as he put up the protective wall against his father's insults. "You would be wise to be more punctual in the future."

Draco said nothing.

"Where has your head been?" his mother hissed at him from the chair. Usually she was the more quiet and stand-offish. She would stand behind his father until her death however, being extremely loyal and despite all his faults, she still loved Lucius Malfoy. "You are not completing your task as required."

"I am doing my best," he replied flatly, not rising to the anger he felt growing within him.

"Your best?" Lucius sneered. "You have not been doing your best! Your last update was two weeks ago. What could possibly be taking so long?"

"This task was appointed to me! I will complete it. There are problems with the device. It's temperamental."

"Enough with your excuses!" his mother rose to her feet as she spoke. "You cannot possibly know what is riding on this task, what it could cost all of us if you should fail!"

He met his mother's glare. "I know exactly what the consequences are. Do not presume I am an innocent party in this. This task was entrusted to me, and no one else. I know what will happen should I not succeed."

"Then _what_ is taking so long?" Lucius prompted, his eyes cold and hard on Draco.

"The magic of these Cabinets is nothing trivial, Father. It is advanced magic. I am learning just as much as I am repairing. Trial and error."

"There is no room for error!" his father outraged, throwing his hands in the air.

"Then you fix it yourself!" Draco yelled back, tired of his parents talking down to him, making him feel like a child again. "Fix it yourself if you think you can do better. Because as it stands I am closer to destroying it than repairing it."

"You wouldn't dare," his mother's voice crossed to him in a small whispered, her mouth hidden behind her hand. "You know what that would mean, for you…for your father."

"Like I said, I know the consequences. I would not wish that fate on my family, but at this current moment, the way you are treating me, seems like a far more ideal alternative."

"'The way we are treating you'…as an adult ridden with responsibilities that will affect all of us!" his mother said.

Draco shook his head, "No. As a child you are scolding for not doing something right. The Dark Lord does not give second chances, this I know, but until I have something to report, I will not contact any of you again if this is the treatment I am to receive."

His father, who had once looked so strong to him, looked pale and weary. He had black rings around his sunken-in eyes and his cheekbones were far more prominent than they had ever been. His mother looked frightened and scared for her family, a family she had worked hard in keeping together. This task was tearing his family apart in more ways than he could imagine, and he did not see it ending well.

"Very well," his father said, the rasp in his voice like sandpaper. "Go."

And with that Draco turned on his heels. He had great respect for his family, for the things they had taught him about life. It was a far darker lesson than any other child had learned, but nonetheless it had made him strong and resilient. As he marched out of the Manor and down the gravel road to the gate his mind left his family and fell to Sadie, strangely enough.

Even in all this darkness and hatred, her presence seemed to find him. She was like a light at the end of the never-ending dark tunnel that he was wandering through. He had tried to make her his property, as his parents had tried to do to him. She had shrugged him off, told him it was over, and that had stung much more than he had thought it would. It dawned on him that they were indeed far more alike than he'd suspected. He continued on the long path away from the Manor, his thoughts full of Sadie and all the ways he might apologize to her. For he had decided that an apology from him would be the only way things would be mended, and he desperately needed them mended.


	12. Love Trumps Logic

**Chapter Twelve: Love Trumps Logic**

I woke up feeling rested for the first time in months. It was not something I'd anticipated when I started out on this trip to my mother's. After staying up most of the night talking out all our problems it was almost as if we were mother and daughter again instead of daughter and stranger. I felt connected, tied to someone else in my family, which was a feeling I had not known perhaps in a long time. I knew that my connections to people were few and far between but this one I valued above all others now. Even above Racquel who had been with me the longest. Perhaps, now that I'd tackled my mother and we were finally closer than we had ever been, I may find the courage to tackle my father. I brought the idea up with my mother last night, before being tucked in for the first time in my life.

My mother had simply replied, "All you can do is try, Princess. But don't expect too much. Your father has a hardened layer that years of business has almost made impenetrable. However, if anywhere were to crack it, it would be you."

My mother had a lot of faith in me that I really had never known before. It was as if the world was suddenly behind me and I could make any decision I wanted and she would support me 100%. I knew that wasn't entirely true, but that's how it felt. As much as I wanted to stay however, I knew that school was still there and there were still things I needed to take care of before Christmas landed and the shit hit the fan, so to speak. I knew my father would not take lightly to my being in my mother's wedding over his and Candy's. But that was how it was going to be. He had never been a real father to me. Loden Morris had another thing coming at him if he thought I'd just roll over and allow him to boss me around anymore.

I stretched in the guest bed in my mother's Australian home, threw aside the covers and wiggled my toes on the cool tiled floors. This was to help beat the heat that would come later in the day. It was a wonderful feeling. I moved to the little satchel I'd brought with me. I'd brought a single change of clothes. I donned them quickly, checking myself in the mirror before leaving the room, high-heeled shoes in hand. Clicking in the morning was not an attractive sound, another thing I hated about the 6am photo shoots my father made me go to sometimes.

My mother sat at the little peninsula that jutted out from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in one hand and what looked like a script in the other. She had her reading glasses at the end of her nose and was tipping her head up and down. It looked like she couldn't read the script and was trying to see which was better, glasses or no glasses.

"Need new prescription lenses Mum?" I laughed as I came up beside her.

"Ha, ha," she replied, setting the script down and removing her glasses. She turned and saw my satchel, "Oh are you leaving already? I was hoping you would have lunch with Flynn and me?"

I smiled genuinely, "No, I'm afraid I can't stay any longer. I'll be here for Christmas, for the majority of the holidays, alright? Right now I have school and…other things to deal with."

Her eyes sparkled knowingly and nodded in understanding. "I'm glad you'll be back so soon. I'd like to spend more time with you. It's too bad Australia doesn't have a magic school."

I tipped my head to one side, "Well I'm sure it does, it's just far too obscure for anyone to really know it's there. Just like Hogwarts. I'll be back though Mum." I reached out my arms and she did the same. We embraced and I didn't have to stiffen in response. It was so natural.

"Now, if you need anything," she told me, "anything at all, just let me know and I'll set aside time for you. You're my girl, and I want you to be happy." She stood and hooked her arm through mine as we walked towards the fireplace. "And if Draco gives you any grief, inform him I will wring his neck six ways from Sunday if he dares hurt you."

I laughed heartily, "Okay Mum, I'll let him know." I stepped into the fireplace and tossed down the handful of ashes, calling for McGonagall's office and before I knew it I was stepping off her hearth with that same smile on my face that I'd left my mother with.

McGonagall was standing behind her desk, spectacles on her nose and papers to her face. "Did you have a pleasant visit?" she asked rather stiffly.

I nodded, "I did, actually. Thank you for letting me go, I know it was a little unorthodox, but I'm really glad I did."

"I'm pleased to hear it. Please remember the paper you have due in two days for my class. I've given everyone else 12 inches, but I will accept 10 from you Miss Morris."

"You'll have 12 on your desk by the end of that day, Professor, I promise." I left, bowing my head in farewell and made my way along the corridors not to the common room, which should have been my first stop. Instead I headed towards the Room of Requirement.

I didn't think he'd be there when I arrived, but I was pleasantly surprised to see him sitting on the sofa couch, papers and school books spread haphazardly on the cushions and the coffee table in front of him. He looked up when I entered. He smiled.

I smiled back. He shuffled a few papers and patted at the seat beside him, indicating I should take that spot. I dropped my satchel and shoes at the door, walked over and sat down, curling my feel underneath me. His arm spread and welcomed me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he turned his head to press a soft kiss to my forehead. When last we'd left one another we had not been on this page. But it seemed that we'd both had a change of heart and mind.

I was not tired but I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and then exhaled. He smelled good. It was like I had not seen him in months when in fact it had been just a few days. I would not say anything however. It was him at fault and hopefully with this newfound respect for our relationship, he would realize this and apologize.

I did not have to wait long.

"I won't be like my father Sadie. I've been under his thumb, as you have been under your father's, for years. I am more like him than I realize. We are more like our parents than any of us realizes, until we repeat their mistakes. I am truly sorry and I hope that you can forgive me."

I tipped my head back to look at him. He looked truly miserable and his apology was sincere. I had heard it in his voice. "I forgive you Draco." His eyes popped and widened in surprise. I laughed. "I know you weren't expecting to be forgiven so easily. I can't be angry at you though. I had an amazing trip to my mother's and my perspective has changed."

"I went home as well."

I nodded.

"Things are less stable with them, but I know what I have to do and where I stand with them."

"What do you have to do?"

"You wouldn't like it if I told you. Strictly speaking I'm not allowed to say anything."

"You don't have to tell me if it's going to get you in trouble, Draco."

His hand set down the book in his lap and drifted to my cheek. "You are a rare creature," he whispered. "I don't deserve someone like you. I want to tell you Sadie, but if I do there's a chance that you will get hurt, and I would do almost anything to prevent that from happening."

My heart skipped a beat as I realized that he may indeed be in danger and his parents were definitely in the middle. "It's that serious?"

"The world is darkening and I'm afraid I may be at the very center of the storm. I hate myself sometimes for bringing you into this mess as well."

"The world is darkening," I agreed. I then admitted to him something I had not even admitted to myself yet. "I'm strong Draco, but I don't think I'm strong enough for a war. I don't have skill will my wand like you do. I'm afraid if I stay for this I will do more harm than good. And you cannot protect me while trying to protect yourself at the same time."

He looked sad then. "Yes," he said quietly, "you're probably right."

We stayed silent for some time then. "What are we going to do then?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't know yet. I have my own agenda. Clearly you have yours as well. Is it worth this pain to stay together when we know this may never go anywhere?"

"For as long as possible," he proclaimed, lifting me then to wrap his arms around my properly.

"It will hurt more if we prolong the inevitable," I said, hugging him tightly.

"It will hurt regardless. I know what life has to offer me for the next couple years, and while I do not claim to see the future, it is going to be rough and I want these memories I share with you to be there to keep me through it all. We may not be perfect for each other Sadie, but you have taught me something very important."

"I have?"

He leaned back to look at my face, his steel grey eyes pouring into mine. I felt transfixed in the best possible way. "Yes. You have given me the strength to see hope at the end of the tunnel. You are a light. You have always believed in me, whether you cared to admit it or not."

I nodded, "Everyone deserves a second chance, Draco. I'm thankful to have taught you that." I paused. "You have taught me something too. You gave me the strength to stand up to my mother, you know. And soon I will stand up to my father as well."

"What will you say?"

"I don't know yet. I'm sure it will come to me. Either that or I will just come up with it as I go along," I laughed lightly. "Can I ask a favor from you though?"

He smiled, "Anything."

"I know this can't go anywhere, but will you stand behind me, quite literally, when I go see my father? He's marrying the worst girl in the world and I have to tell him how I feel."

He lowered his lips to mine, kissing me softly. "I will gladly standing behind you in this. Is there anything else?" his mouth turned up in a smile.

"Yes…will you be my date to my mother's wedding?"

He laughed loudly then, throwing his head back. "Of course."

"Thank you, Draco."

"Sadie, you are most welcome."

I crawled into his lap then, longing for more closeness that our current position could not offer. I kissed him passionately, weaving my fingers through his blond hair. His fingers drifted under my shirt, creeping up the skin on my back and ribcage.

I stopped kissing him for a second or two to say, "I can't offer you a way out just like you can't tame my wild behavior, but I can offer you memories and moments."

"I'm not looking for forever, Sadie. And I like your wild side. It's hot."

I laughed, seeing a glimpse of the old Draco who had only lusted after my body. He had been dark and devious. I had never been intimidated by that boy. The one I was currently kissing however, he was a different beast altogether. Racquel was right, he was a kindred spirit and being with him was the right thing to do. It wouldn't last and we both knew that now. But while we had each other, we would enjoy it.

Our passions kept us occupied for several hours, taking and giving one another pleasure. It was something that could not be captured forever. It was ephemeral and momentary and completely beautiful. When we came together for the last time I dropped to his chest and curled up, his arms coming around me, refusing to let me go. We lay entwined together on the carpet.

"What will you tell your parents?" I asked when I could breathe properly again.

He shook his head, "Nothing. They will not hold you over my head as they do so much else. You are my secret and I want you to stay that way until all the danger is gone. I don't know if I will survive it but I am positive that you will."

"How can you know that?"

"I've been thinking?"

"You can think and make love at the same time?"

"Hush," he chuckled, pinching me on my rear. "Yes I can."

I giggled. "And what were you thinking?"

He sighed, "By the end of this year, I will know which way this war is going to go. I don't want you at Hogwarts if the Dark Lord succeeds."

"Where will I go? I still have a year of school left."

"I want you to go to Australia, live with your mother. Get as far away from England as you can. The repercussions of the war will not affect you there and you can be safe."

"You've given this some thought, haven't you?"

He nodded, "Yes. Visiting my parents sort of lit the fire beneath me. I won't be a pawn anymore. I will take an active part in this war; I am bound to service that way already. But I will also take an active part in protecting those I care for. You and my mother are at the top of the list."

My fingers idly played with his chest hair as I absorbed all that he had said. "Can we…can we not think about this right now?"

"Certainly, what would you rather think about? Schoolwork?" He smirked.

I smiled back, shifting my leg over his naked waist once more. He raised an eyebrow but did not object. "So not schoolwork?"

I shook my head, smiling back at him. "Not quite."


	13. What's Good for You

**Chapter Thirteen: What's Good for You**

November was cold, I decided. But I defied all former convention and wore blue jeans and cashmere sweaters instead of the more fashionable wardrobe my father probably would have had me wear. Of course all these things would go under my school robes but that made it all the more comfortable. I didn't feel like I was on display wearing blue jeans. I was sent a package of scarves I was supposed to wear for the winter fashion from _BonneChique _but I'd only taken out the few I'd liked. I wasn't a model when I was at school. I was a student, and I was determined to keep up with my studies.

With the potential of facing next year away from Hogwarts, I wanted to do and learn as much as possible. I didn't want to fall behind, though I had never really felt I belonged in the magical world. My wand was my companion, this was true—and I used it daily—but there was probably a time in the not too distant future that I would not use it very much at all except for daily conveniences. I was a witch by blood, but not in my heart.

I fell into a regular pattern, doing schoolwork, spending as much time with Racquel as possible, and on the nights when I had completed my homework and I could feel the darkness creeping in under the doors I would steal away from the common room in quick silence and run towards the Room of Requirement. Often he was there when I arrived, but other times I would be there alone, which was fine because it was a space that I could think. The Room felt impenetrable to the dark, lit with dozens of candles and comforting with all the pillows. I have always had a thing for pillows, I admit. I could sit on the sofa couch or curl up in the bed. Sometimes I spent the night alone, while others I would fall asleep and wake to find Draco beside me, wrapping his arm around me.

We talked much more now than we ever had before. It had ceased to be a game to us and had somehow turned into a very trusting relationship. I did not expect anything of him, and he did not expect anything from me but there was this unwritten rule that we would always be there for one another. We laughed more too. It was like someone had cracked the seal on a bottle that contained our friendship. We had only ever been drunk with lust and power, trying to accomplish something. It was very different now, and it was something I was getting used to.

Sometimes I backed up, gave myself a mental shake though, knowing somewhere inside me that this would all end and that it could go no further than this year at Hogwarts. I needed to shake my heart free of the hold he had taken, just from time to time when I felt his hold becoming more than just something ephemeral. This happened a lot when we argued, which was as often as we laughed.

I entered once and he was smashing things around, breaking anything he could physically. I entered and stood by the door, just watching the rage wash over him. It came in waves. He would smash something that would make a loud noise and then just stand there, his breathing coming in pants. When he was calm enough and had stopped staring at the broken pieces he would bring his wand out of his robes and repair whatever he had smashed and then just break it again.

It was a process and I never interfered, not unless he was about to do bodily harm to himself. There was another time when I watched him wreak havoc on the room we had come to know so well and when everything was broken and torn he grabbed a shard of glass and made to cut his arm open. I intervened, grabbing at his wrist that held the glass, putting myself in his line of vision. By this time I had seen his Dark Mark and knew all too well what he was planning to do. It would not have worked, but it would have rid him of a certain kind of pain, replacing it with something else, at least for a time.

After these episodes he would sit and I would repair everything he'd smashed. Sometimes he would lie on the bed and fall asleep. Other times he would watch me, looking extremely guilty and ashamed. He would either refuse my touch afterwards, wanting to sit by himself, or he would crave my touch, yearning. He would set my skin on fire and when it was over his incident would be all but entirely forgotten.

I didn't have the heart to berate him. He could take care of himself and so I would just let him. One night after an episode he thanked me. "You're very kind to just accept me like this."

I smiled, "I accept you as you are, Draco. Why should I get upset? Clearly it's a way to get rid of your frustrations. Who am I to deny you that release?"

He hooked his arm around my neck and brought me closer, kissing my forehead, every bit the tender lover he truly was showing in that very moment.

"When are you going to talk to your father?" he asked me after a few moments of silence passed.

I sighed, "I don't know." I had thought about it. But every time I decided it was time, something else took precedence. I would be doing a paper or spending time with Racquel, each taking priority over going to speak to her father. She reasoned she could always send him a letter, but she'd seen him read personal letters before. He merely glanced at them and had his secretary respond. I didn't want that to happen.

"It's the middle of November, Sadie. You are running out of time."

"Ugh!" I let out, moving out of his arms and into a sitting position. "I know."

He sat up behind me, his hands moving over my shoulders, gently stroking my skin and massaging my muscles. It was a wonderful cure for almost everything that ailed me—except for the problem with my father.

"Let's go next weekend," he said quietly.

"What!" I squeaked.

"Hear me out a minute before you start protesting." He paused, waiting to see if I'd say anything. I stayed quiet. "There is no better time like the present. We both know that time is fleeting and before you know it, it will have slipped through your fingers like sand through an hour glass. You know everything you want to say to him, right?" I nodded. "Then what's stopping you? You turn seventeen in March, just a few months away and then he will certainly have no further say in your life. Besides," he slowed and looked away into the room, as if looking out a window to another world, "if you go to live with your mother next year you won't need him. Do you want to be a model the rest of your life?"

I cringed, "Merlin, no! If I ever thought about that it would only be on my terms and far away from my father."

"Exactly. You're a very bright woman and once you are legal you can get a job anywhere you like, even in Australia."

"I won't be finished though. I'll be missing a year of school."

"Do you want to go into Charms or Potions or Herbology? I think we both know the answer to that one. You are far more ready to take on the world—the muggle world—than most people finishing their seventh year. Do something else. You won't need your last year of Hogwarts. I doubt it will ever be the same again anyway, not after…" his voice trailed off.

I waited to see if he would finish his sentence. He wasn't going to. It made me fear for him. Made me fear for him and for the people I would be leaving behind when I left Hogwarts for good. I admitted to myself I was excited to live with my mother, though I hadn't broached the topic with her. It might be different with her living with Flynn. It might be different in a good way though. I wasn't a child anymore but I would be getting a real mother and possibly a real father for the first time in my life.

"Think about next weekend," he said, startling me out of my thoughts. He kissed my shoulder, lay back down, keeping his fingers my bare back. "I will follow whatever you decide, but a decision has to be made, and soon."

I knew what Draco thought now. Now I just had to find out what two other people thought. Then I would make my decision. I hate procrastinators and I had become the Queen of Procrastination. While I knew time was running out I just hoped it wasn't too late.

* * *

When she wasn't busy my owl liked to hide in the Owlery instead of the dorm room. I didn't mind, I needed to stretch my legs and I'd decided to kill two birds with one stone (figuratively, I did NOT kill any owls, I promise) and brought Racquel with me. She was the other person I needed to consult about the father issue. She had been privy to all my thoughts previous to this, knowing everything about Draco and me, including his idea for me to move to Australia next year. I wasn't going to keep secrets from my best friend.

I explained everything to her before finally saying, "So he wants to go see my father next weekend. I want to know your opinion, please."

She smiled and tugged at her scarf, one I had given her from the _BonneChique_ fall line I'd been sent. "I want to know what you're waiting for first though?" she said.

"I'm waiting for my brain to stop spinning and my stomach to stop feeling like it's going to drop out my butt," I blurted before I completely finished that thought in my head.

She burst out laughing. "Oh. My. God!" she laughed, clutching her side. "That is awesome! You have to write that down."

I probably didn't look impressed. "Sure, I'll get right on that."

"Seriously though," she said, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, "what's wrong? It's all laid out in front of you, practically step by step. Just follow it. And Malfoy is going to follow you no matter what so what's the problem?"

"What if he doesn't listen?"

"Who? Malfoy?"

"No! My father! The asshole that's doing all this to ruin my life."

"I'm pretty sure—" Racquel began.

"—he's not doing it to ruin my life, I know! I don't know why I care so much," I sighed.

"I do. He's your father, and even with all his faults you still wish he would be a father to you, his daughter. My advice hun, is to just to tell him how you feel and what you're thinking. You feel victimized and he doesn't listen. If he in fact does not listen to you, then cut him off. Let Candy be the new face of _BonneChique_ and you can move in with your mother as planned."

"I suppose," I replied.

"Don't suppose Sadie, come on! Where's your sense of conviction? Be the Sadie I know and love, the one who doesn't take any crap from anyone. You're almost seventeen and he's almost out of time. You won't be his little girl any longer."

"Do _you_ think he'll listen?" I prompted.

She shrugged, "You tell me."

"Ugh, I hate it when you do that."

She laughed, "Yeah I know. Take your own advice. What do you think he will do?"

I looked away from her, thinking about it. My father had never listened; I don't know what would make him change that now. I had threatened to leave before too, and he had always called my bluff before. The difference this time was that I had options and a place to go when I finally did leave. At least I think I did. I had written about it to my mother, asking if it would be okay. I had faith that she would agree. Flynn had really changed her, for the better. I had a feeling that Candy was going to change my father for the worse though.

I shook my head and replied, "It's not going to make a lick of difference."

"But you've still got to do it," Racquel countered firmly.

I nodded, "Yes, I do. I will regret it my entire life if I never say anything. It's my life and he's my father and things have to change, whether he wants them to or not."

She unhooked her arm from mine and wrapped it instead around my shoulders. "That's my girl! Conviction!" she laughed. I laughed in return.

* * *

The response from my mother was prompt. I read it and rushed out of the common room towards the Room of Requirement. I couldn't walk by the door three times fast enough, requesting entrée. When I entered the room it was not to find Draco smashing things, nor was it to discover him sitting calmly awaiting my arrival. He sat on the couch, his arm clutching his chest and when he turned his head his robes shifted and I thought I caught a glimpse of a bandage and blood wrapped around his torso.

The letter in my hand forgotten I rushed over to sit beside him. He flinched and I was taken aback. I knew instinctively it was from pain but still it hurt me to find him moving away from me.

"Draco, what happened?"

"It was Potter!" He said Harry Potter's name with the typical heavily pronounced "P" and I knew at once he was very upset but in too much pain to smash anything. "He attacked me in the washrooms."

"On purpose?" I had to ask, knowing Draco was usually the more confrontational one when it came to Potter.

"He startled me. It went by so quickly and then I was in so much pain. I'm still in pain."

"What did he do to you?" I didn't dare touch him, despite how much I wanted to.

"I'm not sure, exactly. He slashed his wand in a diagonal, yelling something, and all of a sudden a flash of pain and my entire chest was cut open and bleeding. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was dying. If it had been the Killing Curse I would not have felt such pain, and I know Potter is too much of a goody-two-shoes to use that curse anyway. Snape rushed in and Potter took off. I blacked out. I woke up in the Hospital Wing this morning and when no one was looking, I left."

I nodded. I would not have done the same, but Draco was defiant like that. It was usually something that I admired. This time I thought it utterly foolish but never said anything. Madam Pomfrey probably would have had several healing tonics and pain relieving medicines he could drink and never feel any pain at all.

He was punishing himself again though. It brought up the question what he had been doing in the washrooms to begin with that had made Potter's appearance so startling to him to begin with. I never asked. I never interfered, even when I wished I did.

"What about the pain now?"

He shifted slightly and grimaced. "What pain?" he said through clenched teeth.

I sighed, took out my wand and set it on the coffee table in front of me. "What can I do?"

"Let me suffer."

"If that's what you wanted you should not have come somewhere you knew I would find you, Draco. Give me something else to do," I replied stubbornly. If he was going to be stubborn then so I was I.

His chin jutted towards the letter I'd set on the table beside my wand; "Tell me what your mother said."

I shook my head, "Later." I stood before him then, "Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to help you out of your shirt and your pants. Then I'm going to help you to the bed. You're going to lie still and get some rest. I don't want arguments or complaints. You wanted out of the Hospital Wing and came here. This is how it's going to work."

He looked for a moment like he was going to get angry at me. Instead his look softened and nodded his head. Good, he was going to comply and do what was good for him, for once.

"I don't know why I put up with you," he teased, wincing as he got to his feet.

I smiled, holding on to his arms. "I don't know," I admitted. "But it's what's good for you."

He nodded, "I know."


	14. Faith

**Chapter Fourteen: Faith**

I used some of my more shameful superiority skills with Madam Pomfrey in order to have her whip up a potion that would help Draco with the pain, as well as extra bandages to wrap him again. I knew he wouldn't approve but I only had so much time before he woke up again. When I'd left him not moments before he had been dead to the world and yet his chest rose and fell with steady and deep breathing. The rest would be good for him.

I raced to the Hospital Wing and talked her into giving me a salve for the wounds that would numb and help them heal faster as well as a sleeping tonic that would, well, help Draco sleep. I hoped to make it back before he woke.

I wasn't so lucky.

He was wide awake and trying to shift into his shirt. "Whoa! Where do you think you're going?" I said, rushing over to him, dropping my supplies on the end of the bed. They immediately caught his eye.

"What are those?" his voice was still groggy from having just woken.

"You're going to fight me anyway, so why should I tell you?" He raised his eyebrow in disapproval. "See, I knew you weren't going to like it. You're going to have to do as you're told though."

"I don't have to do anything you tell me to."

"True, but your wounds may very well incapacitate you for some time and then whatever you were working on that has been frustrating you so much will just wait more. You're mistaking strength for stubbornness and pride, Draco. Don't let it be your ruin as well."

He rolled his eyes and threw aside the shirt he'd tried don. He then threw his hands in the air expectantly, a gesture that was meant to say "well, get on with it." So I did. I sought out a bowl of warm water and a sponge. I wet the bandages he wore and then unwrapped them, hoping they had not healed into the wounds. Madam Pomfrey had made sure that would not happen however and they came away with little tugging. I took a rag cloth then and dipped it into the salve, careful not to get it in contact with my own skin. I didn't want a numb hand—that would just be too weird. Draco gritted his teeth as I brushed the ointment over the cuts. They weren't open any longer; they obviously hadn't been deep enough to require stitches. They were simply many short red lines, puckered from whatever healing they'd done the previous night in the Hospital Wing up until now. For this I was thankful. It took no time at all for the salve to start working. Magic worked best that way, instantaneous.

I finished wrapping his torso snugly with the extra bandages I'd collected and as I gathered everything together in the bowl of water to dispose of, resealing the jar of salve Draco's hand caught at my chin. He lifted my face so I would meet his eyes. He was no longer upset, no longer in pain, and finally seeing what this decision did for him. This was a good thing. He leaned forward and claimed my lips. "Thank you," he whispered, something I knew was probably hard for him. He never bothered to thank anyone in his life before I had come along and turned his world upside-down.

I reached up and brushed my palm against his cheek, giving him a gentle smile before continuing with my clean-up. When I had finished he had already put his shirt on and was buttoning the last button.

His eyes drifted to the coffee table where my wand and the opened letter from my mother still sat. "What does the letter say?"

I walked over, picked up the envelope and held it out to him. "Read it."

* * *

He took the letter from her, his movements slightly restricted by the bandages but no longer hurting thanks to the salve and Sadie's clever ministrations. "You're sure?"

She nodded to him and sat down on the sofa. He remained standing and flipped open the letter.

_My Dearest Sadie_ the letter began. Draco could feel a slow smile spreading on his lips.

_All that you have told me about Draco and what has transpired between the two of you makes it sound like he is a worthy hero of my special girl. He sounds very wise and bright; it is unfortunate that circumstances have him locked in such unbreakable chains. I have never known such a bond to anything before in my life and it scares me to even think about what he is going through. From all you have relayed to me, you are being very strong for him; as well you should be for all he means to you. I am glad to know that while you are so enraptured with him currently, you are both being realistic about the relationship. So many young teenagers these days are caught up in young love. I know yours is a hard life, what with your father and until recently, me, being so difficult. But it is my hope that these troubles will soon be over._

_It is no small request you have made of me, asking to live with me for the next year. I have, however, discussed it with Flynn and he is open to the idea. Trusting his judgment I will most willingly say yes. You are most welcome here, for as long as you wish. And it has always been my dearest wish that you be safe from this oncoming battle that is overtaking London. I realize it is a kind of escape; something that I did when I was just a little older than you, but it is the right thing. You are wise and a very bright witch to have thought things out so thoroughly. _

_I also wish you all the courage you possess in confronting your father. Your rather lengthy letter described in detail all your feelings, many of which I felt empathy to, as I was once in your position with your father. He is a tough man to follow and we Corey's are not made to follow. Do what you must, my Princess. I will support you 100%. _

_Looking forward to hearing from you soon,_

_Love from, _

_Mum, xoxo_

Draco finished the letter once and then scanned it over again just to make sure he understood everything. "Princess?" he asked finally.

Sadie laughed. It was a musical twinkle that Draco had come to understand as a light in the darkness, one he was very accustomed to hearing. He liked making her laugh. "My name, Sadie, means Princess in Hebrew. My parents are anything from religious but I'm sure my father thought it appropriate for the daughter of a business king to have a name that meant his successor."

He moved to sit beside her, the last remaining pain disappearing. "It's beautiful. I never knew that."

"Not many people do," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

"And you told your mother all about me? I didn't know that either."

"I told my mother everything. After expecting a huge fight and her pushing me away again when I went to see her, when I got compliance and agreement I was so shocked that it all came spilling out I guess. She told me that if you hurt me she would wring your neck six ways from Sunday."

Draco let out a loud laugh at the thought. "Your mother sounds like a great lady."

"She is."

He took her hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth, kissing it delicately. "I will never hurt you intentionally. Princess."

She shook her head, "Not you too!"

"Yes, me too."

He had never known such joy as he did when around Sadie. It pained him to think of the day he would have to let her go. But he knew that it was because of everything he was trapped in that he HAD to let her go. It was the right thing to do, and in the midst of all this wrong, he was determined to do right by her. There was little else in this world that he felt doing right by. Not the Dark Lord. Not even his parents.

He saw now that while Sadie bemoaned her mother before and her father still, they were nothing like his. He was bound to them by blood, more than that even. He could never break those ties. He loved his mother, despite her cold harshness. And he respected his father, despite all his twisted cruelness. But he saw sometimes that they were just as trapped as he was. The Dark Lord wrapped his talons around their tiny necks and bent them to his will. To everyone he enslaved. It was an honor to serve the Dark Lord, most said, when the truth of it was if one did not serve, they would be slayed.

"You are far away," Sadie then commented, snatching his attention back to the present.

"Just thinking." Sadie's eyes drifted down once and then back up. "What?" he asked.

"Do you know that sometimes I wish I asked the questions I want to ask? I have so many questions. I just pray that someday you'll be able to tell me all that you're keeping from me now."

His chest tightened and not from the bandages. He wrapped his arm around her and forced her to him. She came willingly and he bit his tongue when the movement brought him slight pains. He kissed the top of her head. "One day. I promise, one day I will tell you everything." If I survive, he thought, keeping that to himself.

Even if he did not survive the next year and a half, he would ensure that she did. If it was the last thing he did. To everyone else he was a discontented, evil, cruel monster who cared only about himself and his advancement amongst the Dark Lord's most inner circle. He would endure that, of this he was sure. But it would not be for him. It would be for her. To make sure she was safe.

After a few moments Sadie broke the silence, speaking with her face pressed against his neck. "So, do we go to my father's next weekend?"

He had quite forgotten he had promised to accompany her. His recent encounter with Potter had been more than unsettling. Yet now he could almost thank that bastard for injuring him. It had given him yet another moment with Sadie that he would not trade for the world. Watching her heal him had been damaging to his ego, no doubt about that, but for once it was nice to be taken care of, especially with genuine, sincere care. She did not bother to hide those feelings and he hoped she never would. He had given her his word that he would stand behind her, and he would not shirk those duties.

"Of course. Will you make the arrangements or shall I?" he asked her.

"I will arrange it all. It has been a few weeks since my father has asked me home. I can put it down to an interest regarding the winter shoot and when it will take place. He will be suspicious, but perhaps he will be too busy with Candy and the wedding to pay any mind."

Draco noticed that Sadie used the same condescending tone saying "Candy" that he used when he said, "Potter." As awful as it was, he was pleased to know she hated someone in this world as much as he hated Harry Potter.

She giggled just then. "What is the giggle for?"

"I was just thinking," she confessed. "If it weren't for the fact that I know what actual married couples act like, I'd say you and I had become one overnight."

He chuckled at the comment. "You are right. I have no recollection of any married couples that act as we are. Well maybe one."

"Who?"

"Weasley's parents." He said it without any distain, something he was quite unused to. It was so unusual on his tongue. He then admitted something to her that he had never admitted to anyone else in the world. "I envy his family."

"You do?" She was as shocked to hear it as he was of himself to admit it.

"I know. It's silly. But Weasley has brothers and a sister, and parents that would die for him. Put my father and I in a room together with a Basilisk and he would feed me to it to save himself. I would die to have my father sacrifice himself for me, if only to see him proud of me for once."

"You definitely won't lead by his example then, will you?" Sadie replied. "You will be a better father than he ever was or will be, Draco. You will love your son in a way that Lucius Malfoy cannot even fathom."

"You can see the future now, can you?" Draco teased, wishing with all his heart that what she said could come true.

Sadie laughed, "No I can't see the future. Divination is a wish-washy magic and everyone knows that. But I just can't see you making your father's mistakes. Not after everything you're going to now to change your life."

"It hasn't changed yet."

"No, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. Faith. All you need is a little faith, Draco. I have faith in you." She curled up closer to him, as close as she could manage without not actually crawling on top of him.

It was a night he would cherish for the rest of his life, and something he would hold on to every time he was asked to bow before a Dark Lord he no longer believed in. His faith had shifted. It rested now with the gorgeous creature curled in his lap. Some even rested on his own shoulders. He would succeed. He would gain the trust he deserved and then when it all ended, he would finally be free. Maybe not free to be with Sadie Morris. But free to be the man of his choosing. And he would thank Sadie for the rest of his life for the courage and strength to realize it.


	15. A Time and Place

**Chapter Fifteen: A Time and Place**

I had my hair pinned back, a sharp black blazer and skinny jeans, accessorized with black stiletto heels and long dangly earrings. I looked uber professional, and with Draco standing beside me in his slick black suit, I felt so powerful. We walked to Professor McGonagall's office together, her frown only touching her face momentarily before going back to her work. I threw the Floo Powder down and in a flash of green flames I was swirling towards an inevitable confrontation with my father.

I stepped through the Clean-Screen at the other end at my father's penthouse apartment. I didn't want to go to the office. I waited for Draco to follow, and within moments he was there. He whistled as he took in the apartment condo.

"Yeah, my Dad has money, and he's not afraid to show it."

Draco walked around. "It looks like a museum in here."

"It always feels like one too," I commented, starting to climb the stairs away from what I considered my father's domain. "It feels like a museum on the hottest day of summer with the air conditioning turned up so high you shiver."

"Air conditioning?" Draco frowned, turning climb the stairs as well.

"Oh yes, sometimes I forget you grew up in a pureblood family with everything magical." I laughed a little. "Well think of a fireplace that produces heat, right? Well 'air conditioning' is what it's called when a machine produces cold air instead of hot air. Like a cold fireplace. Make sense?"

Draco shook his head. "Not really. But it sounds fascinating."

"You've never been interested in muggle inventions before."

"I've never been in a relationship with a witch whose life is so ingrained in a muggle society before."

"Touché." We reached the top of the stairs and along the corridor before coming to the end of the apartment, where my room was located. "And this is my room."

I opened the door and let him enter first. "I never spend much time in here but it was my father's bargaining chip to make me live with him and continuing being a part of the company. So he let me decorate however I wanted. Since I was seven I have redecorated it four times. I redid it last summer, trying to get rid of the posters of cute boys and replace them with more tasteful artwork."

"It suits you," he said, touring the opulent room lazily, his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked deadly sexy in black, always had. But the suit he wore was even more so. "Cute boys?"

"Yeah," I let out a laugh, "every teenage girl's fantasy."

"Am I a 'cute boy'?" he asked teasingly.

"No." I shook my head and walked over to him, placing my hands on his chest, feeling the fabric of his suit jacket. "You are not cute. You are dark. You are sexy. Best of all, you are mine. Cute boys were never mine."

"Oh?" he raised an eyebrow, his hands moving to my hips, hooking his fingers in my belt loops.

"In case you hadn't noticed, I don't do pretty boys. I do bad boys, so to speak. I do anyone my father would disapprove of."

"Your father will disapprove of me?"

"If he knows anything about your family, then of course he will. If you stand behind me, firmly, not wavering or intimidating, he may respect you a little, but he'll never like you."

"I don't want him to like me," Draco admitted. "I want him to let you go." He cupped the side of my face with his hand, brushing aside a loose strand of hair.

"He'll let me go." I kissed him on the lips, quickly, but affectionately. "He can't stop me this time."

From somewhere in the apartment I heard a door slam, and my head snapped towards my own door, listening as someone walked across the marble floors downstairs.

I frowned back at Draco and he shrugged. We both swept out of my room and I took a deep breath as I walked along the hallway. It was still early by my father's standards, only 6 o'clock. He couldn't be home yet. I made my way down the stairs; Draco still holding my hand. I caught a flash of red hair and grimaced.

Candy.

She was a redhead with long and luscious hair. With pale skin and green eyes she was sparkly and irritating. She was rummaging around in the kitchen. I cleared my throat loudly, announcing my presence. Candy's head jerked so suddenly she caught her head on the cupboards and let out a swear word.

Rubbing the back of her head she found where I was standing and our eyes met. "Oh it's you," she said.

"That's right," I said, "It's me."

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was sickly sweet but she was cold and harsh at the same time. Nothing appealed to me about her, especially not the part where she was after my father's money.

I had put up with Candy with almost three years now. I had been thankful at fourteen when my father had kept their relationship mostly a secret, preferring to conduct their love affair elsewhere. But in the years to come when his affection for her grew and mine lessened, she was always there. Family functions such as birthdays and dinners and holidays, she was there. I watched with acute rage as she opened her many, many gifts and purred at my father, excited at whatever new jewel or bobble he had given. I had received equally lavish gifts, always a way for my father to buy time so I wouldn't throw a fit and leave the company. But as part of the company was in my name, an irreversible fact to my knowledge, it was not as if he could stop me this time.

"I'm here to talk to Loden," I replied, narrowing my gaze over Candy's designer-dressed figure. Most was _BonneChique_ but she wore Manolo Blahniks on her spray-tanned feet, Cartier around her neck and dangling at her ears, as well as an expensive Tacori engagement on her bony left hand finger. For what it was worth, I did know my designers. I had been groomed into the business and while I refused to be a model, I could very easily see myself running a small fashion boutique of my own one day.

"He's not here," Candy sniffed.

I raised an eyebrow. "I hadn't noticed," I said sarcastically.

While Candy was the picture perfect girlfriend and seemingly perfect step-mother to me, in our conversations alone it had always gone like this. Perhaps not to start when I had just met her, but gradually it had gone in this direction. She thought she could dazzle me with her charm as she had my father. But I was cleverer than that and had seen right through it within a matter of weeks. My father seemed oblivious and while he did not smile at me, when Candy acted sweet towards me he beamed with pride.

"I hope this isn't to interfere with our wedding plans, Sadie," her tone dripping with disdain. "Because I'll tell you here, there is nothing in my mind that says Loden will pay any attention to you. He is quite loyal to me. In fact, he's actually getting a contract written up so I will be privy to business dealings as well as the occasional modeling gig."

As a muggle, Candy probably had no idea that my father was a wizard. Sometimes I even wondered if he had forgotten all he had accomplished at school. In this moment I didn't realize how much more proud of my mother I was, than my father who had sunk so low in my eyes.

"I'm not going to interfere in anything that isn't my business," I said calmly, feeling the heat off Draco's body at my shoulder. Whereas before he had always been the cause of much turmoil and anger, he had somehow become a cool rock of stability that I now found myself depending on.

"Who's the kid?" Candy said, pointing at Draco over my shoulder.

"I'm not a kid," Draco responded. "I'm here for Sadie."

Candy scoffed, "Oh yeah, I get it. You're 'here' for her." She air quoted with her fingers as she emphasized the word here. I knew things weren't going to go smoothly.

I didn't know if it was too soon in our encounter, but I had waited two years too long to show Candy exactly what I was made of. My wand slipped out of my blazer sleeve and into my hand with so much ease I just knew that this was the right time. She caught sight of the movement and her eyebrows rose. "What are you playing at Sadie?"

"There's a time and place for everything, Candy, if that's even your real name," I started to raise my arm, wand extended. "And I think it's about time I put you in your place."

Behind me Draco didn't even flinch as I flicked my wand and muttered the words to make Candy levitate off the ground. It was the first time in my life I had gotten any pleasure from the sound of someone screaming their head off. I wasn't hurting her, just scaring the shit out of her. And she deserved it. Perhaps now she would think twice about talking down to me again.

"PUT ME DOWN!" she yelled. I listened and retracted my charm. She fell to a clump on the floor. "What the hell, what the hell are you?!"

At the moment, I wasn't completely concerned with the case that I was an underage witch who had just done magic in front of a muggle. But she was in a relationship with a wizard, one who may not do any magic anymore, but she had a right to know what kind of family she was marrying into.

"I'm a witch. My father, Loden Morris, the man you're marrying, is a wizard. For all I know he doesn't use his magic anymore. But I do. I'm going to school where I learn to hone my magic."

"You're lying!"

"Of course I am," I said, throwing my hands upwards in mock defeat. "I am such a scam artist at sixteen that I would be willing to make up this cock-and-bull story just to keep my daddy all to myself." I hoped that the sarcasm dripping from my tone would give her the hint that this was not a joke.

"What's even more laughable," I continued, "Is that you think for even a second that I care what my father does with you. You are more of a scam artist than I am, milking my father for all his money. Well here's a newsflash for you; my inheritance is locked, from you and from my father. My father made it that way as a little incentive for me to stay within the company until I was of age. Each year, more and more money is being siphoned in so by next March, I will have little under half of my father's entire accumulated wealth. Some bribe eh?"

Her eyes were widening with each word that came out of my mouth.

"So seriously, what you and my father do is entirely up to the both of you. I just wanted us girls to get on the same page, before I go tell my father about your scams, and possibly quit being _BonneChique's_ exclusive cover girl. At seventeen though, you can guarantee that I am taking control of my shares and ousting both you _and_ my father."

"You can't do that," Candy said. "Your father is more powerful than he has ever been, and he is only getting stronger."

I took a step forward and she scrambled back, still sprawled on the marble floors of the kitchen. "There is a war coming, Candy, whether the muggle world would appreciate it or not."

"Muggle?"

"Non-magical, little one. And muggles are grossly unprepared for the events that are coming. It has happened once before and thousands died. Ignorance may be bliss, but the ignorant are the unprepared and the unprepared die. So heed my warning; my father may be powerful, but in the year to come he will require all his strength. I am younger and stronger, and if my father refuses to see what's happening around him, I will challenge his authority. Now where is he?"

Her lower lip quivered and I knew that for once she was listening and actually hearing the things I said. I had never felt more empowered. "He's at The Tower."

I nodded and turned. Draco stepped out of my way and quickly followed as I made my way towards the fireplace once again. He grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear. "You are so sexy right now."

I smiled and made eye contact with him. While his eyes were rich with desire they were also immensely proud of me. I wasn't going to take no for an answer any longer. I had spent my life under my father's thumb, doing everything I was told. It was time for that to end.

I whirled in the fireplace, snatched up a handful of Floo Powder, looked directly at Draco and yelled, "BC Tower!" hoping he would follow my lead.


	16. Father and Daughter

**Chapter Sixteen: Father and Daughter **

Stepping through the Clean-Screen into what he knew as BC Tower, Draco had a sudden overwhelming uneasiness overtake him. It was not only due to the fact that Sadie was nowhere to be seen, but also because they were getting closer to her goal, and closer to danger. His family was omnipresent and there were classes of wizards in every single empire around the world who were familiar with the Malfoy family. He was his father's son and would be instantly recognized and then his affair would be over. Sadie would be in more trouble than he had ever dared imagine. They weren't supposed to be going into the workplace. It was supposed to be private. But he guessed that some things just had to be extra complicated.

Speaking of complicated however, where was Sadie?

He had stepped into the fireplace at her father's penthouse condo and yelled the exact same thing that she had. He was mere seconds behind her and yet she was nowhere to be seen. Every other person in the office seemed to be blocking his view. Did no one follow regular hours at _BonneChique_? It was nearly 7pm. It wasn't truly late, not by his family's work hours, which ranged from 4 in the morning to midnight and beyond. One could be summoned at any time. But this was a business office. Draco had assumed that everyone would be gone at 5 or 6. Muggles, he thought distastefully. While Sadie was closer to many more muggles than he, at times Draco still had no stomach for the nonsensical species with whom he was forced to share day-to-day life.

It was not even a sluggish night at the office. People were rushing around with armloads of papers, clothing hangers both empty and full, suitcases and colorful boxes, and so forth. He did not even think it was this busy at the Ministry of Magic.

Someone grabbed his hand and instinctively he fought back until he found the owner of said hand. It was Sadie. She must have gotten lost in the crowd for a moment, driven by the hustle and bustle of people. She gave him a look to say, _Found you_ and then turned to direct him through the throng of workers.

It was as loud as a beehive. How did these people get any work done? Draco thought idly to himself while Sadie expertly maneuvered through the crowd. It was almost as if when people saw her coming they came to a halt or sped up to get out of her way. Draco had to admit she did look like she was on a rampage. She didn't look furious, but he was certain that was just a mask she was carrying until she met with her father.

"What's going on?" Draco had to ask, inferring to all the people around them. "Is it usually like this?"

Sadie slowed to walk beside him as the crowd thinned. Shaking her head she said, "No, it's not. Usually there are about half as many people here. It must be the January issue. Either someone messed up or they're just really behind. We usually finish about mid-November for the magazine to come out in January. It gives people more time off at Christmas. Every other issue is done a month in advance. My guess is that they're all just really behind. Loden may very well be distracted due to the wedding, though that's not really like my father. He's the king of multitasking."

"I thought _BonneChique_ was a fashion and cosmetics company."

"It is," Sadie confirmed, "but BC Tower is designated as head offices and the _BCFashions_ Magazine Headquarters. _BCFashions _is the monthly magazine we distribute as part of this multibillion pound/galleon corporation."

"Pound?"

"Muggle money. We play in two different markets. It's part of the reason why _BonneChique_ is so successful."

The way she talked about the company made Draco really open his eyes to the life she had been living away from Hogwarts. She was born and bred to be business savvy and she did it very well. She may not want to be under her father, who simply used her looks and time carelessly, but she took pride in the company of which she would one day own a huge chunk.

They went through a set of double doors and entered a deserted hallway. "Where is everybody?" Draco asked, unable to keep the question from burbling out.

"You ask a lot of questions for someone who is generally the strong silent type," she laughed, teasing him lightly. "This leads to the studio but it's a back entrance used by janitors and such. My father will be in the studio overseeing whatever late shoot they're doing."

"Why weren't you asked to partake in this issue?"

"I posed for the winter collection back in October. Whatever proofs they needed, they got and didn't require any adjusting." She said things so matter-of-factly. Draco didn't have a clue what she was talking about but it seemed that she did and that's all that mattered.

At the end of the hallway was another set of double doors. Sadie slowed when she reached them, took a deep breath and shoved one open. She released his hand and he knew she was preparing for battle, if not literally than figuratively. Loden was a harsh man with harsher principles. He would not give up his only daughter and meal-ticket that easily, even if he did have a new hot model back in his condo who was under contract.

It was Draco's turn to put on the calm, steady mask he was very good at portraying. It was like a second skin to him, whether he cared to admit it or not. He would be steely and strong for her, if it was the last thing he ever did.

There were a lot of people in this room as well, but also many strange metal contraptions that Draco didn't recognize. There were backdrops of plain white, blue-grey, green, and several other colours. Tall, thin models weaved to and fro and every few seconds there were flashes of light that made Draco blink a dozen times. Still he followed Sadie. While she didn't have a trajectory per say, she knew what she was doing. Her shoes clicked and clacked and it was as if by some sixth sense she located her father, surrounded by men in suits, laughing and having a jolly time together.

By this same sixth sense, Loden Morris swiveled his head and met his daughter's gaze. Draco saw his eyes narrow and his face darken. He was not happy to see Sadie. He turned to his entourage briefly and then clipped away, moving swiftly in their direction. Sadie froze and whereas in the apartment Draco had kept his distance, he knew this was not what she needed right now. He got as close to her as possible, restraining himself from placing his arm around her waist. He had a strong urge to shove her behind him and tackle the talk man striding towards them. But he resisted. Sadie relaxed minutely, leaning back into him the smallest amount. Her shoulders straightened however and her head tilted with conviction. He had never seen such fire.

"Sadie," Loden growled when he reached them. "What are you doing here? I did not send for you. Go back to school. I'll see you when you break for Christmas."

Sadie shook her head. "No, Dad, you won't."

"What do you mean?" Loden's eyes flicked to Draco and in other circumstances Draco would have smirked at knowing something that Loden did not. But he did no such thing and just started back.

"Do you want to have this conversation here?" Sadie asked lightly, gesturing to the models, stylists, and make-up artists who squabbled around them.

"We will have no conversation anywhere. Go back to school."

He made to leave but Sadie spoke up. "I saw Candy."

This made Loden lurch to a stand-still. "Where?"

"The apartment. She was…surprised to find me there. Even more so when I made her levitate three feet off the kitchen floor."

Loden's eyes glowed something akin to his daughter's. He was livid. "Office. Now. Go."

Sadie smiled sweetly and reached back to grab Draco's hand before continuing in a different direction. She pressed a button on the wall when they stood before a set of metal doors. The doors opened to reveal a metal box. They stepped inside and she again pressed a button with the number 15 on it. Before the doors closed Draco saw Loden talking to the gentlemen he had left earlier, indicating some business had arisen, no doubt. Draco was certain he would follow them to the office momentarily.

The doors opened with a "DING" announcing their arrival. Sadie stepped out into a large room paneled with windows and stainless steel. It was similar to the apartment, save that this room had a rich brown carpet instead of marble floors and heavy oak furniture instead of stainless steel.

This was the office of a business magnate, someone with power and money, someone who flaunted it to business clients who came into this magnificent office. It was strange, Draco thought, that while Sadie was very high class and had some very nice designer clothes, she was completely content most of the time to wear jeans and a comfy sweater, rather than something that showed others exactly how high-fashion she was. She and her father were very different in that respect.

Sadie walked to the desk at the far end of the room and promptly plopped her ass down on the edge. Draco looked at the sofas and chairs laid about and instead of sitting in one, took to leaning against left wall, close to Sadie, but in the shadows enough he wouldn't be in the direct line of fire. He was good at this, standing silent and watching but being at the ready if it was required of him to act.

The door opened at the end of the room and Loden Morris entered. He shut it behind him with a click and locked it as he went.

"Won't you sit, Sadie?" he asked, walking forward to the sofas.

"No, I don't think so," Sadie countered. "I believe you may need to sit by the end of this conversation however."

"What are you talking about? I thought we had settled everything, including your inheritance, which was the last time you brought up such a serious conversation."

"This isn't about my inheritance, Father. This is about my freedom."

"Oh how dramatic," Loden rolled his eyes. "You're just like your mother."

"I am more like my mother, and proud to be, than you will ever understand."

This was the girl that Draco now understood he loved very deeply.

"And what's this about you levitating Candy three feet off the floor? You know she doesn't know we are magical!"

"Did I know that? Can you recall any conversation in the past where you told me specifically that she was a muggle and had no idea we could do magic?"

"I'm certain…" his voice drifted off.

"You're not certain, are you?" Sadie looked pleased she had stumped her father. "Well she knows now, and if she still wants to marry you, you should probably know she's only doing it for your money."

"That's a lie!" Loden exploded. "Candice cares about me, loves me, and she is with me because I can offer her a life she has never had before."

"Yeah a life that comes with perks such as flowers for breakfast, jewelry for lunch, and trips to the French Riviera for dinner. Who are you fooling, Father, because it certainly isn't me."

"Sadie, you are coming dangerously close—"

"Close to what?! Being thrown out of the company? Fine, I don't want to be a part of such a corrupt organization anymore."

"Don't be so childish. You are the face of this company and you are my daughter and are legally obligated to fulfill all the commitments of your contract."

"Any legal binding contract will be null and void as soon as I turn 17 in March. That's only 4 months away and as of right now, I do not feel compelled or obligated to renew my contract."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that as soon as I turn 17, Dad, I am gone."

* * *

It had been a while since I'd made this threat to my father. Every other time I had done it though, it had been years away from my seventeenth birthday and had no real legitimacy. I couldn't make the argument and win, and I think he knew that. But today I could see the fear in his eyes when I told him I would be gone, and I could see the fear and uncertainty there.

"You wouldn't dare leave," his voice shook only slightly and I was even more empowered to continue. This was going exactly as I had planned.

"I will leave. I will not attend your wedding to Candy. I'm going to Mom's wedding instead."

His head snapped up. "Your mother's getting married? She told you this?"

"Ugh don't look so surprised. Mom and I get along far better now than you and I ever could. I have met him and I have spent more quality time with my mother in the last 2 months than I have with you in the last two years."

Loden looked bewildered and I cast a cursory glance to my side, seeking out Draco, who was hidden in the evening shadow at the side of the office. He was my secret protector and for his strength I was eternally grateful.

My father must have caught my glance and having fallen to sit on one of the leather sofa backs he stood up abruptly and took a step toward Draco. I moved faster and was between my father and my lover in mere seconds.

"This is all your fault, isn't it? You've poisoned her mind against me."

"You're delusional," I cried at my father. "I have only ever wanted your respect. I have wanted to be treated as your daughter, not some employee. This was too much for you though, it would seem. You have poisoned me against you all on your own. There is nothing more to it."

"There is much more," my father continued as if he barely heard me. He shoved me aside with little effort and I was flung into the side of the desk. "I recognize your face, boy. How could I not see it until now? You're a Malfoy."

I was bent over clutching my side looking at Draco whose eyes kept flickering back and forth from me to my father. His eyes were wild with rage and I knew that it was no longer my responsibility to stop my father. Draco could take care of this himself. I nodded to him when next he met my gaze.

"You sir," his eyes turned dark as they fell on my father's advancing figure, "need to watch what you say next. I am a Malfoy, this is true. So perhaps you know the might and power we are capable of. You know that harming me would come back on you and your family tenfold. What you do not know, is that I care about Sadie and I have no wish that you, despite your ignorance and arrogant nature, or your daughter come upon any harm. But I would advise you now to back away from me and leave Sadie alone."

"She is my daughter; I will do as I wish with her. You however, may leave at any time."

I had never seen my father so dark. He had turned into a completely different man in just a few minutes. He was harsh and willful in his business dealings, but here, now he was a demon. I didn't care anymore what happened as long as Draco and I left this office alive without him. I'd never go back no matter what he offered me.

"I am no daughter of yours, Loden. Not for the rest of my days. Draco, I want to leave." I stood and my side twinged in pain. I stepped towards Draco who nodded and held out his hand. My father intervened though and grabbed my wrist.

"You're not going anywhere!"

"Let go of me!" I demanded as I tried to yank myself free of his grasp. He held firm. "Let go of me!" I repeated.

"You are my daughter! My property! I taught you to be better than this, better than him!" he jutted his chin towards Draco. "Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned in this mistake you have made."

I couldn't see what was happening but suddenly my father's other hand was extended and in it was his wand. "What are you doing!?"

"You have ruined my relationship with Candy, revealed our secret, and you have come here thinking you can just run away with this boy without any consequences. Well you are sorely mistaken and I am going to show you my will, even if I have to spell it out on his skin!"

"Who are you!?" I cried, trying again to free myself. It did no good, I was still trapped. My eyes searched out Draco who still stood ten feet away, his wand now in hand and extended towards my father.

"Let her go Morris," Draco growled. "Or so help me Merlin I will end your days here and now."

"Ha!" my father guffawed. "You don't have the guts to end a life, boy," he spat out.

"I have to eventually; I might as well practice on someone less great." Draco muttered, probably louder than he meant to. I frowned at him and he simply shook his head.

"What is he talking about? What are you talking about?" Loden asked.

I shook my head, my hair now having fallen out of its up-do. "I don't know, I swear. I don't know! Draco, just erase his memory and be done with it. Nobody needs to get hurt."

"He is hurting you Sadie. This is a far nobler cause for killing someone than what I have been ordered to do. I cannot allow him to hurt you like this."

"It doesn't hurt," I winced, a tear coming to the corner of my eye as my father inadvertently squeezed tighter around my wrist.

"Don't be brave for me!" Draco yelled. "I don't care anymore. One last chance Morris! Let her go and I won't have to kill you."

There was a great flash of light next and I attempted to duck away and found myself free from my father's grasp. I moved in the direction of where I'd last seen Draco, but found my way hindered by a tall hooded figure. The light subsided and I gasped in shock when I realized that there were several hooded figures in the room. We were surrounded.

I head whipped around in search of Draco and when I finally found him all breath left my body and my heart stopped. The woman holding him was not hooded, but from the look in her eyes I could tell she was bat shit crazy. And she had her wand to Draco's throat.


	17. Blood, Tears and Freedom

**Chapter Seventeen: Blood, Tears and Freedom**

My blood ran cold and drained from my face, just as it had from Draco's when a bony hand clasped at his throat and a wand aimed at his head. I didn't move a muscle. My world that had turned upside down once and had done it all over again and I couldn't make any sense of it.

"Draco," the woman behind him hissed as her wand trailed up and down the side of his face, "look at the trouble you have gotten yourself into now." She giggled and I wanted to wretch. What had I gotten us into?

Draco tried to wriggle free and I turned when I heard my father speak. "What is going on here!? I demand you leave at once. You have not been invited and therefore have no business being here."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. My father had just signed his death warrant. I didn't have to guess that the cloaked figures surrounding us were in fact Death Eaters. I knew as soon as they had appeared. Draco's presence had brought them here. I had seen him naked enough times to know that the mark on his arm was not false.

There was a screech in the air and a wand pointed at my father. It was a curse I was familiar with, even more so now having visited my mother. My father screamed and writhed with pain. When the curse desisted he was crumpled on the ground muttering to himself and the man who cast the curse was shouting, "DO NOT SPEAK AGAIN MUGGLE-LOVER!"

"This is your fault, Draco," the same man turned to face him, drawing his hood down. His long white-blonde hair told me this was Draco's father. "However," his father paused, "the wizard is powerful and has money. He will pay and then we will erase this night from his memory."

"Let the girl go," Draco said clearly, the hand at his throat obviously not hindering his ability to speak.

"The girl! The girl!" his father spat at his son. "She is coming with us."

"Why?" Draco croaked.

"As if you have to ask," the woman behind him with her wand now lowering to her side. "You chose an awfully funny play thing, Draco."

I shot her a dirty look and then flinched when the nearest cloaked Death Eater reached out to take my arm. A back hand slap to my face took care of that though and I licked the side of my mouth where a dribble of blood dripped. I was in hell now. And I was really pissed off.

I watched silently as my father was forced into writing a cheque for the Death Eaters, no doubt to go towards their galleons in debt, or to support their cause. This was so beyond my world now. I could see why Draco wanted me out. I wasn't prepared for this kind of violence. This wasn't my world. This was Draco's. And that thought, more than anything else, scared me to death.

After my father had handed over the papers for the money we made eye contact and while I felt little remorse for the manhandling this particular Death Eater was giving him, I felt nothing when he erased my father's memory. He would no longer be the CEO of this company. He didn't remember it anymore. This all meant that in four months, as soon as I turned 17, I would own everything. His VP would take care of matters for me until my birthday, if he managed to stay alive until then. He was no longer CEO. He was no longer my father.

The reality of the present world was crashing through my window and I didn't have a single defense to stop it. My only defense before this had been Draco and he was more mixed up in this strange and dangerous world than I have ever imagined.

My father slumped to the ground and that was the last I saw of him. He would go to St. Mungo's now and probably live out the rest of his days there, dreaming of living a life that no longer existed. Where would I go?

There was another flash of light and then utter darkness. We had Disapparated.

Where were we going now?

When we arrived at wherever we were I collapsed to the ground, finally dissolving into a fit of tears. Draco, who was no longer in the arms of the scary woman with crazy black and white hair, rushed to my side but did not bend toward me. I assumed he would get in far more trouble for bending to help me than the trouble he was in by rushing to my side.

"Your plaything isn't a very brave person," another woman with pin-straight blonde hair. "But I understand now where your head as been for the past couple of months Draco. She is alluring but hardly worth your time, don't you think?"

"It doesn't matter what I think, Mother," he retorted to the woman.

So this was Narcissa Malfoy. And the other woman who had taken her wand to him must have been Bellatrix Black, Draco's aunt. He had told me about them during one of our midnight encounters. It had been one of the more disturbing discussions we'd had because he didn't find his Aunt Bella a very pleasant person and I already knew exactly how he felt about his parents.

"How right you are," Lucius continued. "But there is the still the matter of your punishment and what we are going to do with her."

"Do with her? She is nothing to me. You can let her go back to Hogwarts and I will go back to the task the Dark Lord has given to me." Despite his biting words he subtly shifted his one foot closer to me letting me know that as much as I was a good actor, he could go one step further.

"Nothing to you?" Bellatrix had an evil grin on her face. "Then why don't you just kill her and be done with it, if she really is nothing to you."

My stomach dropped and while Draco's foot was almost touching my leg it was not comforting me at all hearing his aunt's threat. What was even more uncomfortable however was the nonchalant way in which Draco said, "Fine."

"Fine?" I squeaked.

"Shut up," he growled at me, and I did. What was going on?

He turned and walked away from me for a few seconds and then whirled around to face me. Our eyes met and he was furious…but not at me. Behind the rage I connected with the Draco that I had come to know over the past few months. I couldn't read exactly what he was trying to convey to me through the uncomfortable silence, but they did tell me I was going to be okay. I just hoped he was right.

He came at me and for a second I thought he was going to hit me. But I knew him better than I thought and when at the last second his rage died I knew instantly what he wanted me to do. His hand whizzed by my cheek and somewhere there was a loud SMACK and I fell back onto the hard marble floors. While I was down I covered the cheek he had supposedly hit and rubbed, hoping to produce flushed, red skin from the impact. My head snapped back and the eyes of our audience looked very satisfied with Draco's action and my reaction. So long as Draco didn't require me to make myself bleed things were going to be okay.

He 'hit' me a few more times, and together we were better actors than we ever believed possible. His family was eating it up, buying every false slap and fake punch. Draco even directed a few kicks to the stomach that I padded well away from my body using my arms. I was going to be bruised nonetheless, but this way I knew that Draco didn't actually wish to harm me.

"Enough!" Lucius protested. "You have magic in your veins boy, use it!"

My breath hitched in my throat. Damnit! The physical violence was meant to be a deterrent for any actual pain. I guess his family had had enough of the display of Draco's physical power over me, a weak woman.

"Finish the mudblood-lover," his aunt hissed. She was truly a terrifying and truly insane woman when I saw her up close.

Draco nodded and brought out his wand. He rushed towards me, grabbed at my throat, careful not to cut off any air though I pretended it hurt. He mouthed the words to me as he lifted me from the ground. It took me a few moments to understand what he had said but then it clicked: "Scream."

I had never been good at screaming, but this would have to be the minute I did it like a professional. I'd have to channel a little more of my mother tonight, and a little bit of the pain and rage I used to feel against my father.

I stood there, Draco with his hand at my throat and my eyes watched, like a deer caught in the headlights of the Knight Bus, he raised his wand and pointed it at my face. He blinked. I screamed. I attempted to fall, hoping it would be all the more dramatic to be brought to my knees again by such exquisite pain. He refused to let me though. His hand was gentle but firm on my throat and while I screamed I was almost unaware that he was shoving me back across the room. Whilst screaming he asked me a question with his eyes. He was going to hurt me for real this time, but only to make it seem more convincing. I nodded and screamed again. I felt my body make contact with the wall behind me and a sharp pain shot through my spine. This time he released me and let me crumple to the floor. He walked away as if I really were nothing to him.

His aunt Bellatrix was chortling and clapping her hands wildly. His father, while I did not look to see his face, was undoubtedly proud of his son's actions. I simply prayed to get out of there alive.

"She looks used to this kind of treatment from you, Draco dear," his mother crooned. I had a sudden image flash through my mind of Lucius and Narcissa, playing at the same game that Draco and I were forced to play now but instead theirs ended in a wild but violent embrace. I whimpered and hung my head.

"She is used to it, Mother," Draco replied, clear and cold. "It is not the first time I have touched her like this. This is simply the first time we have had an audience."

Lucius was quiet and pensive. I chanced a quick glance through the straggled strands of hair hanging around my face. He looked even more thoughtful than I had pictured in my mind. "Perhaps I misjudged you, Draco," he said finally, striding forward to his son purposefully. "This girl has been good for you. Should I allow you to keep her as your pet?"

Draco tensed his back to me and I almost gasped a sigh of relief, but held it back for his father had not yet made the final decision. "If it is your wish, Father," he replied. "I can find dozen like her at school. No one quite bears up against me as she however. She is quite a rarity and I enjoy exerting my physical strength over her. She can take it."

"She enjoys submitting to the power of a Malfoy," his mother said quietly, intrigued and once again reflecting on her own life with Lucius. They were drawing the wrong conclusions about me, but I didn't care. My father had been dealt with and I wanted to get out of here. "She may one day prove of use to Draco," she continued, now making a plea towards her husband. "He needs someone who can withstand this world, who will stand beside him, as I have you."

"Does she care for such a life?" Lucius wondered aloud.

Bellatrix was silent, watching the entire scene with wild eyes. Gone was her giddy nature that had broken whilst I was being beaten. She now looked as dark as the shadows that encompassed her.

I knew what I had to do. I shook more visibly so I might draw more attention to myself. I weakly ignored the throbbing pain coming from my back and made the motions to stand, one foot and then the other. I pushed back my wild hair with my chin slightly higher than before, I walked as strongly as I could manage towards Draco. His eyes were wide and as dark as his aunt's. I stood before him, didn't touch him, and bowed my head. His family assumed this meant I was requesting more punishment. Draco knew it to be something completely different. I was winning the decision for him.

"You may keep her Draco, for now." His father had decided in our favor. "I do not believe she is cut out for our life, but she may be easily disposed of in the end. I will not ask what you were doing in the heart of London with that man, Loden Morris, though seeing you have his daughter one can only guess. It doesn't matter any longer however. Return to Hogwarts now and complete your task, as required of you. DO NOT allow this dalliance to hinder your abilities. I doubted you before and I do not now, but you have my warning."

Lucius took his son's arm and Narcissa stepped forward to take mine. In a whirl that made me want to wretch again we Disapparated again.

We arrived in Hogsmeade. It was dark out, as I suspected, nearing midnight. There was a howl in the distance that made my blood run cold. Lucius and Narcissa stepped back from us, linked arms again and disappeared.

It took a few minutes for us to realize that we were in fact quite alone and that this night had finally ended. But when the realization hit, Draco rushed towards me, wrapped his arms around me and I could hear him breathe deeply. He clutched my hair and buried his face in the crook between my neck and shoulder. I likewise grabbed on to him, memorizing his scent once more.

I was crying; I could feel it on my face. The cumulated events of this night had brought me to a blubbering wreck, but that was okay.

He pulled back, not so far as to leave my embrace, but enough for him to look into my eyes. He brushed back whatever stray hairs there were and looked for any evident injury aside from my split lip from when the Death Eater had struck me earlier. "You're okay?" he asked, though he was reassuring himself more than asking me the question. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but I had to." I could see he was more shaken than I was.

"Draco," my voice cracked when I said his name. My hand found his cheek instantly and I kissed him, let our mouths meld and our arms locked around each other once again. When the passionate kiss ended I held my head against his forehead. "I'm fine Draco. We're both fine. I should never have made you agree to come to London with me. It would have been safer for the both of us."

"Hey, shh, shhh," he attempted to calm me, "I made a promise. Not a vow, not bound by blood as I am to other things in this world, a promise and I intended to keep it. I did keep it, that's all that should matter."

"I know," I cried, "but my father…" My voice shook again.

"Your father will never bother you again. He doesn't even remember who he is. He was never a real father to you anyway."

"But your father—"

"My father is my business," he cut me off harshly and I blinked. "You are no longer in his reach, Sadie. We know what is going to happen. We know our roles in this game. We did before tonight. We know even better now."

My bottom lip quivered. I nodded though, knowing that he was right. He had saved me tonight. He had saved me from my father and then his family. Perhaps in some small way I had saved him too. "What would they have done to you if…?" If I hadn't convinced them that the violence was what I truly wanted? I didn't say the words but Draco knew what I was talking about.

"You have seen the scars, my love," he said quietly, "but this would have been worse and probably would not have healed for months." I know I looked sad. I was almost heartbroken to hear that his family did such cruel things to him. His hand lifted my chin though and I opened my eyes. "Thank you."

He didn't have to say what he was thankful for. We were so alike that we had at last come to the stage of communicating without words on a purely mental level. In the beginning it had been all lust and desire. Then it had moved to anger and rage. Now we had come to the plain of peace and understanding.

We kissed again, our hands interlocking at our sides. "I want to go home," I said finally, knowing we were standing in a deserted part of Hogsmeade and were less safe here than behind the gates of Hogwarts. It was also very cold and I was in stilettos and a blazer.

We walked in the direction of the school and in no time at all we passed through the gates after a cursory inspection from the night wizard. He had instructions from McGonagall to allow us in however and I was thankful for her uncanny foresight.

We were both quiet as we walked the corridors and climbed the stairs. It was a silent agreement we made when entering the school that this night was not meant for sleeping in our own beds alone. Tonight we made our way to the Room of Requirement, a familiar path to the both of us.

We walked back and forth in front of the door three times, picturing in our minds the room we had come to know and cherish as a little hideaway from the rest of the world. I suddenly had an idea. When we entered the room I stopped and faced him. "Draco, I want to do something for you. For us."

"What?" he asked.

"I don't know how long this war will last. I know that we are not meant to be together past these next few months. I'm not even sure I'll return from Australia after the Christmas break. But I am going to do it anyway."

"Do what, exactly?"

"I'm going to set up a place for us. It will be somewhere safe, a hideaway, in Switzerland I think, safeguarded by magical enchantments. But it will be ours. When it ends, if I have no knowledge whether you are alive or dead," (the words hurt to say and my throat was dry and numb almost), "I will be there. I may never see you. It may be the last we see of each other ever. It may prove a new beginning in a new world, but it will be ours. Yours and mine."

"You cannot know what will transpire, Sadie," he said, holding her hands.

"I know," I shook my head, "I know that. I just want this little beacon, please. We survived tonight and while that is only a drop in the ocean compared to what is to come, we survived and I have faith and hope that we will continue to survive in this cruel and messed up world that has tried to control us."

He looked at my dubiously for a few seconds, his eyes shifting through feelings and emotions that passed too quickly for me to decipher. In the end a slow smile spread across his face. He nodded, "Okay."

I threw my arms around him in happiness and tried to bite back the wince as I strained my injured muscles. Draco caught it though and while any other man would cease to touch me and refuse any sort of physical contact, he did not. He began to remove my dirty clothes, along with his, and then when both of us were naked he whisked me up into his arms and carried me to the bed.

He lay me down gently and then held himself above me. It was a beautiful feeling knowing our skin was touching and we were far away from the outside world.

I thought back to what we had both endured. I smiled. "You became a man before my eyes tonight, Draco."

His brilliant smile warmed me to the depths of my soul. "I became a man the day I met you."

We spent the night forgetting everything else but just us two. It hadn't gone exactly as I planned, and while yes I was more terrified of his family than ever, at least I was free in my own life to do as I pleased. Draco's freedom would have to wait a little longer. He was a spirit that longed to run wild and free. He was free with me, to be himself and do as he pleased, but even that was going to end for him. I hoped that knowing my freedom had been achieved he had faith his too would come.


	18. Draco's Fire

**Chapter Eighteen: Draco's Fire**

Draco dressed in an unusual colour at my mother's wedding. He didn't resort to his customary black on black. Instead he wore a white dress shirt, a grey tie and an almost black blazer. It was possibly the least menacing thing I had ever seen him wear. I had taken to hiding in the bathroom to prepare myself for the nuptials and he changed while I was dressing. I exited and our mirrored expressions were that of awe.

"You look beautiful!" He beat me to saying it.

I smiled, "Draco, you look…" I was at a loss for words. I didn't want to repeat 'beautiful' though that is what he was. His white-blonde hair was lightly tussled and I desperately wanted to run my fingers through it.

"That dress," Draco continued, "where did you get it? Do not say it was just something you had lying around."

I laughed, "Of course not. It was a gift from my mother for the occasion. Despite everything we have always rather had a similar taste in style, which was very surprising."

I was used to the more austere looks of vibrant blues and purples and reds. My stylist had loved the reds and how they looked against my skin tone. I preferred more muted tones and my mother seemed to agree, having chosen a dress the colour of mint-green. It was strapless but not overly tight around my bodice and fell in satin swirls around my knees. I had chosen emerald jewels to accent and pulled half my hair up. It was probably one of the most casual 'formal looks' I had ever adorned. I chose a pair of silver strappy sandals with a smaller heel than my father would have allowed.

"You look stunning," he continued, coming up behind me next as I hooked my earrings in. He wrapped his arms around my middle and looked at us standing in the mirror. Our reflections told a very different story than our actual lives.

December had been blissful, without incident and while Draco was still secretive about what he was doing for the Dark Lord, I had given up thinking about asking anything about it. I had too much to think about on my part. Did I go or did I stay? I was a threat to him now, now that his parents knew about us. I was under threat everywhere I went now, my father having been placed in St. Mungo's as predicted. That was an interesting letter to receive. But his enemies had become mine and the company would survive without me, should I decide to leave sooner rather than later. Nothing could be done until March, but I didn't think I could wait until then. Draco still had to complete this task and I still wanted to be away from that part of the world more than ever.

So I had to decide. Would I continue and finish my sixth year at Hogwarts? Or would I just go now, cut the cord, disappear from English society and come live with my mother here in Australia? I had to admit to myself, even with the ties that held me at Hogwarts, namely Draco and Racquel, the latter was more appealing to me.

How Draco had managed to sneak away from his parents during these holidays I didn't think I'd ever know, but as long as they didn't crash my mother's wedding to Flynn, I didn't care either. Draco was here with me. My mother had met him for the first time a couple nights ago. That had been fun. If I didn't know any better I would have said that Draco was severely intimidated by my mother. He even stumbled over his words a few times. But while our days were spent entertaining various guests and dignitaries that wished my mother and her fiancé well, our nights were peaceful and ours. My mother hadn't given any second thoughts to letting us share a room, for which I was very thankful. She understood me, finally.

I got to know Flynn over the few days we had before the actual marriage. He was a great man with a wonderful sense of humor. He obviously made my mother very happy, that much was clear. I didn't see myself having any issues with him. I'd told him plainly when I arrived that I wanted to live here for the next year, possibly until the war in England was over. He had agreed that it was what was best for me. He even said he'd set up the loft above the garage as my private apartment.

I tried my hardest not to think about saying goodbye to Draco. During the day I was so busy I didn't have to worry, but at night when we were together every kiss and every touch felt like it could be our last. It brought me to tears several times and Draco held me tightly until the crying subsided.

But as we looked at our reflections in that mirror on my mother's wedding day, I blinked back the tears I was fighting. I could see it; our future. It was as clear as day and when Draco kissed my cheek I smiled all the way down to my stomach. Would this be it? Would I ever feel this happy again knowing that Draco had to leave?

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me from the room. "You'll make your mother upset if we're late, and you know I'll blame you."

I laughed again but didn't say anything. My mother wanted to get married at home, the home she shared with Flynn when they weren't in the city. It was to be a small affair, with twenty or so people. It was quiet with light laughter coming from the terrace by the pool. An arch covered in purple wisteria and green ivy stood at the far end of the gardens. There were no chairs here. It wasn't a formal ceremony and wouldn't last any longer than the customary 'I dos'. The tables were on the opposite side of the pool, set up with flowers and candles and a glass dance floor substituting for the pool cover. It was magical and just before sunset. The back drop to my mother's wedding would be the rolling hills of Australia and the glow of the sun touching the horizon. My magical mother had made this night absolutely perfect without relying on any magic.

I stood with the rest of the guests, near the front beside Flynn's best man and sister. A lilting sound floated on the breeze and the music for the ceremony began to play. My mother walked down the aisle with her arm in Flynn's, throwing tradition to the wind. She'd told me the night before that she didn't want to be separated from him on their special day, not even at the beginning. I also had a sneaking suspicion that Flynn had also helped her select the wedding dress, which was of course beautiful. Floor length with the same swirls of satin that reflected in my dress, the lace trim and collar made my mom seem so young and beautiful. Flynn wore grey and white, reminiscent of Draco's attire. Flynn's goatee and mustache, facial hair he had grown specifically for the occasion, made him look far different from Draco's clean shaven face however, and that's where the resemblance ended.

They walked hand-in-hand and when they passed me on their way up the few stairs towards the arch my mother reached out with one hand, searching for my hand. I grabbed her hand back and squeezed, letting her know I was there, just as she wanted. She could do this, no acting, no pretending. Why she'd needed me to do that was beyond my knowledge, but I hoped someday I would understand.

The 'I dos' were said and cheers rang through the air. When my mother and new father kissed Draco wrapped his arm around my waist again to find my fingers resting at my midsection. Our fingers intertwined and I cast a glance back in his direction. He was prepared with a gigantic smile on his sexy face and when he playfully kissed the tip of my nose I giggled.

My mother came and hugged me while Flynn shook hands with his best man and received a hug from his sister. "I'm so glad you were here, Princess," she whispered in my ear.

"You did it, Mum," I whispered back. "I'm so proud and happy for you."

"Do you think I can survive the first year? They say that the first year is the hardest." She didn't look worried.

"If I have any say in the matter, you will," I replied. "You two were made for each other."

She gave me another squeeze and looked back to where her husband stood. "We were, huh? Thanks love bug."

I didn't have many more mother-daughter moments that night but there was one in particular that stood out. Draco had disappeared inside to find us some cold water to drink. The champagne tickled my nose too much and I'd drunk far too much. My mother came over as Flynn asked his sister to dance and sat beside me.

"Oh honey," she began, "I am the happiest woman in the world."

"I can tell."

"I have to say something though."

"Oh?"

"Yes, it's about Draco. You two, you're so alike. You fit together with one another. Now I know what you've said about the situation and I completely understand. I just don't get why you can't make things work?"

"He wants to protect me, Mum. I understand. I'm not cut out for the life he leads. For all our similarities, I don't belong in his world and he isn't allowed to have a place in mine. At least not yet."

"Yet?" my mother looked surprised, "Does that mean you still have hope that he will survive and return to you."

I shook my head. "No. I mean I'll always have hope that he survives, but somewhere deep inside I know that even if he does return, he won't be the same as he is now. Perhaps this is my role in his life, and his role in mine. I'm not happy knowing that it's our fate to be like this, but I can't change it, no matter how I'd like to try." I'd told my mother about the hideaway idea and she agreed that it was very romantic and hopeful.

My mother looked at me deeply. "You're so like me, you know?"

"I know Mum."

"You'll change what you can and accept what you can't. I just hope life deals you a better future than it has your past."

"Oh Mum, that doesn't even matter. I don't care about my past or even my future so much right now. I'm just enjoying the present."

"The moment," she nodded. "Just like me." Her smile brightened when Flynn caught her eye from across the dance floor. "It's ephemeral but every second is worth it." She winked at me then and headed off towards her husband.

I jumped a little when the chair beside me scraped the flagstones as Draco sat back down, handing me a glass of water. "What do you love most about me?" I asked Draco after a few minutes.

"Hmm," he murmured over the rim of his glass. "I suppose it would have to be your wild nature and how you don't take any shit from me."

It was a playful answer, but truthful. "Do you wish I was any different?"

His hand found mine on the linen tablecloth. "I sometimes wish you were cut out for the way I live. That you could live the life I live. But when I catch myself thinking these thoughts I just shake my head knowing that if you were like that you would cease to be everything I love about you. You're wild and won't take orders and in the circles I run in, you'd have to be obedient. That isn't you. You're fragile and delicate, but strong and willful and I love that girl."

I turned to look at him. "You could ask me to pretend, like we did at the Manor. You could ask—"

He silenced me with a kiss. "Never. I will never ask you to be anything but what you are, Sadie. I tried to control you once and I will never do it again. Besides, you know I would never purposely put you in danger. By asking you to pretend just to be with me would be too dangerous. And once you pretend for such a long period of time, it begins to be your whole world. I should know. You're the only one who has ever brought me back to the light. I thought I was buried so deep. I was wrong. You made me see how wrong I was."

His hand found my cheek and he brushed away the tears that had begun to fall. I blinked them back and dried my face with a napkin.

"Do you think anyone would notice if we disappeared for a while?" Draco asked.

I shook my head, "No, they would notice. They wouldn't care though."

"Good," he smiled. "Come with me."

We rose and walked through the house and out the front door. We came to the grass and I slipped out of my heels, wriggled my toes in the blades of grass and sighed. We walked for a while, our hands linked, not saying anything. I looked up and saw a billion stars blazing in the night sky.

"I have a gift for you," Draco's voice came out of the silence beside me. "Your Christmas present."

"It doesn't feel like Christmas here, does it? It feels more like an eternal summer."

"Don't you want to know what it is?" he asked.

I turned to face him then and smiled, "What is it then?"

He held his hands out to me, offering me a tiny box, wrapped in silver paper and tied with green string. "Open it and find out."

I took the gift from him, pulled the ties and took off the paper. It was a velvet box and when I lifted the lid my breath caught in my throat. It was a silver, circular pendant, like a ring on a chain. Embedded in the ring were dozens of tiny black diamonds. Draco's nimble fingers found the chain and clasp. Following his lead I lifted my hair and let him hook the necklace around my neck. He removed the one I had been wearing for the ceremony at the same time.

"I hope it reminds you of me," he said quietly.

My hand fiddled with the pendant at the hollow of my throat. "It's perfect."

"It originally held white diamonds, but I had them replaced."

I couldn't speak. Instead I leaned forward and kissed him. It was all I ever seemed to be doing; kissing him because he made my so happy when I was with him.

We went to bed that night, my head resting on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me. I didn't take the necklace off.

* * *

The next morning the house was quiet and I slipped from the bed, from beside the sleeping Draco, knowing my decision had been made. Like ripping off a band-aid it had to be done quickly. It was less painful that way. I couldn't go through another six months knowing that something could happen to mar this beautiful state we had found. I wouldn't do it. I didn't want things to end at all, but if they had to end, there was no better time than here and now.

I curled myself into one of the cushy chairs in the living room and smiled at Flynn when he passed through gathering cups of coffee for him and my mother. "Hey Flynn?" I called just as he was about to leave again.

He turned, "Yes?"

"I'm really happy for you. And I'd like, if it's okay with you…can I call you Dad?"

He paused and sat down across from me, setting the coffee mugs on the table. He was smiling. "I've never had any children, Sadie. My first marriage was cold and loveless and for convenience. I would be honored if you called me Dad, knowing what little I do from the treatment you received from your real father."

I'd told both my mother and Flynn all about what had happened at BC Towers and while it had shocked them, it hadn't really surprised them. "He got what he deserved," my mother had said.

"I'd like to call you 'Dad'," I reiterated. "It's like being given a second chance."

"To second chances," he agreed. He rose and in a surprisingly warm gesture I had not been expecting, kissed me on the top of my head before picking up the cups again. He winked at me and retreated back to the bedroom, where he would no doubt relay our little chat to my mother.

"Second chances," I whispered.

Draco entered the room a little while later, a somber look on his bed-ruffled face. He rubbed his eyes and sat down in the chair beside me. "You've decided, haven't you?" he said.

"I have Draco." I played with the pendant around my neck again. I just knew that it was going to become a nasty habit of mine.

"You're not coming back with me, are you?" He looked so lonely.

I nodded. "I'm going to ask my mother to formally request I be withdrawn from school and I'm going to move all my things here as soon as I can."

"I understand," he said quietly.

"You do?" I was a little confused. Did he know all my reasons?

He pulled me from my chair and drew me into his lap. I latched my arms around his neck letting my forehead rest on his. "I do. This, what we have now, is perfect. Perfection doesn't last though. It's ephemeral."

He startled me by using the exact same word my mother had the night before. "You heard our conversation?!"

The corners of his mouth turned up in a small hint of a smile. "Yes, your mother knew I was standing behind you."

I fought the tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm becoming such a cry baby."

"I hate seeing you cry, Sadie. That's how I knew this was ending far sooner than I thought it would. You keep crying, thinking that everything is going to end. I won't let you keep thinking that. These past few months have been…well they've been the best of my life. I will hold them and the thought of you for the rest of this bloody war."

Our embrace tightened. "I will write to you if you want," I told him. "But it might not be the safest idea."

"No, no letters. The only physical evidence of our relationship belongs with you, around your neck."

"I won't say goodbye to you," I cried softly. "I would hide you from the world if I could."

"I can't run away, despite how much I want to."

I leaned back and forced him to look at me. "You remember what I told you," I said firmly. "You'll know where to go. I won't ask anything of you, save one thing. Survive Draco."

"For you," he agreed quickly.

"No! Not for me. For yourself. Your spirit longs to be wild and free. Do your duty and then break free when the moment is right. Do you understand?"

"I do. I know. I will." Our kiss was fierce reminding me of our first kiss. It had tingled and made my dizzy, just like this one. Only this time it wasn't an itch I could cure with more kissing, or a sickness I could make better by making love to the man in my arms. This kiss meant farewell and I ached all over knowing what it meant.

"Draco, Draco," I said, putting a stop to our feverish kissing. "Tell me, why did you kiss me all those months ago?"

"You were tangible fire. It danced around you, on your skin, I could see it. I had to taste it, feel it. I wanted to feel…something. I had grown so cold that kissing you made me feel like I was on fire. You were wild and wonderful."

"Thank you," I kissed him again. "Oh thank you for coming into my life."

"Sadie, thank you for saving my life. For giving me something to live for."

We kissed. We didn't say goodbye, not even when he stepped into the fireplace to return home. He even threw me his old cocky smile, the one that made me weak at the knees, departing without another word. He returned to his world and I prepared to make a niche in a brand new one, without my father, without _BonneChique_, without every person who walked into my life trying to control me, and without Draco.


	19. Epilogue

**Chapter Nineteen: Epilogue**

Freedom.

I pulled my cashmere sweater tighter around my shoulders as the nip of October air blew through my hair. I relished the idea that for the second year in a row, I could spend an entire month in Switzerland without any interruptions.

My mother and Flynn were in the middle of a Sydney theatre production and I was under no obligations to be anywhere or do anything. I was completely free.

I took in the scenery around me. The back deck of my Lake Lucerne cottage looked out over the spectacular Swiss landscape with its lush green hills and white-peaked mountains. The teal blue water sparkled in the autumn sunlight and in the distance I could hear the church bells of Lucerne, the closest city. It was perfect and something I had become quite accustomed to.

I turned back to go inside my quaint cottage. The back deck jutted off my sunroom, a small enclosure that boasted large bay windows and many plants and flowers interspersed with sofas and comfortable chairs. Behind a set of French doors was my open-concept living room and kitchen. A unique mixture of modern and vintage furniture was arranged around a large stone fireplace. The kitchen was done in pale blues and yellows with wooden countertops and slightly outdated appliances that gave the room an old and weathered look. A staircase that started just back from the front door twisted its way up and around to the second floor of the A-frame building. Upstairs was one bedroom and one bathroom; everything an independent young woman needed.

This was my vision; a place that I could come and just be myself. As much as I tried to be myself with every aspect of my life I had come to accept that there were versions of me that I put forward for different people. My mother, while much closer to me than she had been before, got the responsible and tough-exterior face. My business and social obligations saw the well-brought up daughter of Loden Morris. Racquel was the only person who still saw the Hogwarts-me, someone who had jumped the chance at sleeping with the school bad-boy and done everything in her power to piss off her father. But this cottage saw every day, ordinary and un-amazing me. I don't think it minded.

As I looked around my home, my hand strayed to the black diamond pendant at my neck. I was right before in saying it would become a habit of mine to play with it while thinking. I never took it off. Maybe I thought that by taking it off I would be rejecting my relationship or at the very least trying to move on from it. It had been over a year and a half now, but still there had been no one else.

It was hard to think about moving on when so much had happened with Draco Malfoy. His bad-boy exterior, his tortured-soul interior, his scary as all hell parents and the way he stood up for me with mine were just a few of the many facets of our relationship. It sometimes broke my heart to think that I may never see him again. After he left that day I did my very best to move on but there were always pieces that seemed to slip back underneath my skin. Most importantly was the fact that I never wanted to take the necklace off my neck. I couldn't help but feel deep inside that if I took it off, then he really never would come back to me, and a big part of me wanted him to.

It had been over a year and a half. I had turned seventeen and then eighteen. In the New Year I would be turning nineteen. A nineteen-year-old heiress to a multi-billion dollar company, and I still hadn't a clue what to do with it. I was right in my assumption that my father would spend the rest of his days in St. Mungo's Hospital. He had a very cozy private room that since becoming of-age, I had been paying for, not that it made any dent in the income. Being out from under Loden Morris's thumb actually gave me some thrill and excitement in the job that I had so long resented. I was still the face of _BonneChique__**, **_but I'd taken a more philanthropic view of my circumstances and delegated a majority of the responsibilities to more senior members of the company. I wasn't even out of my teens, I had no desire to run a company.

I made my way over to the kitchen, drew my mug from the cupboard and set the kettle to boil some water. Tea was one thing that always seemed to relax me these days. I hadn't relaxed completely since hearing the war was over and that had been a little more than four months ago. I'd imagined that the day after the war ended, Draco would appear. This did not happen however, and I had been sitting on the edge of my seat ever since. The anxiety dulled and went from a sharp pain to a dull throb. Slowly and gradually I began to understand that even if Draco had survived, perhaps he did not want to see me after all. The war could provoke changes in people so drastic they altered their entire lives.

My mother, Madalynn, happily married to her second husband Flynn, had proved as much when she told me the story of her father's torture. Something so horrific, being made to watch a loved one suffer; I knew that was what inevitably turned my mother from magic forever.

I walked to the settee and curled myself into a wool blanket. When I heard the kettle whistle I turned my head and began to imagine exactly what I wanted to happen, and before my eyes, it happened. The kettle lifted from the element and poured the water into the waiting mug. My tea collection slipped out of the cupboard beside the stove and upon deciding what kind of tea I actually wanted it popped out of the box and landed in my mug. The silverware drawer then slid open and a teaspoon rose before landing in the mug, beginning to stir it gently.

The tea container returned to the cupboard and my mug levitated across the room, not spilling a single drop. I clasped my hands around the warm ceramic and inhaled the aromatic smell of spiced chai and chamomile. I sipped the hot liquid and then set the cup down on the side table. Magic still had some uses.

I was beginning to feel the tension ease away and was just getting comfortable when there was a sudden fluttering at the window that made my heart leap into my throat. I let out a small squeal but then realized it was only an owl, carrying a letter.

I stood, slid the door open and let the owl come swooping in. She landed on the back of one of the chairs at my kitchen table. I took the letter from her, stroked her back and dug in one of my junk drawers for a treat.

After taking the treat from me and giving me a friendly peck she spread her wings and flew back out the window. I smiled and then broke the seal on the letter she'd brought. I wasn't expecting any mail. I didn't recognize the seal but it was so generic it could have been from any post office. I unfolded it and my heart skipped a beat. It just said one word and who it was from.

_Door. DM._

My hair whipped around as my head snapped to look at the front door. No one could get in. The enchantments on this place were fortifying and impenetrable. Draco must have known that. He would be at the gate down the laneway. It would say one word on the gate sign and I had hoped he would know what it meant. _Paradiso._

I dropped the letter and sprang for the door. I ran out barefoot, scampering down the front steps and tearing down the laneway. It wasn't very long but you could just barely see the roof of the house from the gate, and no one could enter unless invited or they were me. I rounded the bend and as the path straightened out to reveal the gate I stopped when I saw someone standing on the other side.

It was him. He had found me. He was tall and lean, wearing a white dress shirt underneath a tan-coloured jacket and blue jeans. I had never seen him looking so casual and…well…human. Before he'd always been this foreboding, intimidating creature, ready to strike at any second, ready to pounce at the smallest sound. This man before me, he was changed, but he was still Draco. I could feel it.

His eyes were on the ground when I first saw him, but as I took a few more steps forward his head shot up and he pinned me with his grey-blue gaze. I was a foot away now and my hand reached out, touching the top of the gate. I felt the magical pulse zip through me as the enchantment subsided, swinging the gate inward. I held out my hand for him to take then, beckoning him forward, hoping this was not a mirage I had dreamed up in my desperation for some semblance of a sign he was alive.

Yet when our fingers touched I knew this was nothing I could ever have imagined. He was real. I pulled him inside our paradise and when the gate shut, because our hands were linked, he felt the magical pulse go through me, locking the world out and locking us inside. I saw his eyes briefly widen at the sensation.

We just stood there for a few moments. Just being in each other's presence seemed to bring some sense of wholeness back into our lives and we didn't want to rush the feeling. I stepped forward, unhurriedly, my right hand moving to cup his cheek. This face was smooth, free of stubble, and his eyes had a sort of dead quality to them that frightened me. Had the war changed him that much? But his arms enveloped my waist and as I lay my cheek against his I knew that no matter how much he'd changed, we were still the same at our core.

Finally he spoke. "I didn't know if you'd be here."

"The owl would have found me no matter where I was," I explained. "I would have found my way here immediately. I would have found a way."

"I didn't know how fortified this place would be, but something just kept drawing me to this gate. I'd dismissed it a few times before finally coming back. Perhaps it was the word on the gate."

I leaned back to look at him. Life was slowly returning to his face. Just being with me was making the change. "Come," I said, taking his hand in mine, "let me show you."

He followed willingly but didn't smile. I lead him up the path and up the front steps of the building and then into the little cottage I'd made for us.

His eyes scanned the open room, taking in the furniture and décor and mountains in the background that could be seen through the large windows. "It's perfect." He was reserved and almost cautious but I let him find his way.

"I hoped you would like it. There is more upstairs but I will show you that later if you stay." I had dreamed he would come, scoop me into his arms and indulge in my body and being the moment he returned to my life. This was not what I'd imagined and so I adjusted quickly to let him be in charge and take this meeting where he pleased.

His head swiveled to look at me. His eyes scanned my face, marking the changes there, and when his gaze dropped to my collarbone I realized I'd been hunched over a little against the cool air outside. I let my shoulders drop and the collar of my shirt then uncovered the black diamond pendant at my throat. His eyes flared and finally I felt his heat.

He caught me up in his arms so fast I hardly had time to think. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he showered my face with feverish kisses. "Bedroom," he said hoarsely in between kisses.

I replied breathlessly, "Upstairs."

Before I knew what was going on we were ascending the stairs and then falling down onto the cloud bed nestled in the little alcove. I lay beneath him and when he propped himself up to look down at me I tilted my head and smiled. This time he smiled. It was bright and magical…much more impressive than levitating a cup of tea across a room.

He took his time. We got reacquainted slowly, peeling back clothes and relishing in the feel of skin against skin once again. It was slow, unrushed, and yet it seemed to end all so quickly in my mind. I was lost in a state of complete bliss and there were waves of pleasure that rolled over my body gradually at first but then faster and faster. At the brink I cried out and moments later his body dropped against mine. We were a tangle of limbs for a few moments before we had the energy to shift into a more relaxed state. He lay on his back and pulled me to his side. I nestled myself into the little corner of his arm resting my head on his shoulder and throwing my leg over his legs.

It was a while before either of us said anything. But when he started talking I did not dare make him stop. He told me things…things I definitely heard but wished I hadn't. Everything that had happened, even during the time we'd been together at Hogwarts, he laid it all out for me to look at and judge. I could tell sometimes he resented my involvement but I could tell it was all the doubt in the system he needed to pull through.

I admitted first that I was shocked and dismayed, but not once did I move away from him, and I reserved judgment until he'd finished speaking.

"Do you think loving me was wrong?" I asked softly.

He shook his head. "No. No it kept me alive. Whether you were a dream or not, you were my salvation, and for that I will never regret loving you. You," he kissed my forehead gently, "kept me sane throughout it all."

"There were moments," I told him, "when I didn't know if I wanted you to return. You were so different from my life, but there was always that flicker of doubt in me that said I needed that change. You were like a force of nature though, driving me towards only one possible conclusion."

"What conclusion was that?" he asked.

I lifted myself to look down at him. Brushing back his white-blonde hair I smiled. "The only conclusion that ever made sense to me: freedom."

"And do you feel free?" He trailed his fingers through my hair gently.

I took a few moments to respond. "I thought you'd be angry. I thought you would be different after the war, and now, knowing the things you've been through and the things you've seen, I find it almost impossible that you are still some semblance of you, the man I fell in love with. I won't ask you how you did that, because I'd like to think I know the answer. Because of you I am free, so it is only natural I feel most like me in your arms."

He kissed me sweetly and I melted into him again. It was hard to believe that I had gone so long without this tender feeling of being so intimate with someone, namely him, my Draco.

We soon fell asleep. When I woke I found myself alone and started to panic. I looked around frantically until my eyes fell on the form of my lover, encircled in the pale light coming in from the window. There must have been a full moon in the sky tonight. I slipped from the bed and went to him. I could not bear being so far when I could clearly see how tensely he was sitting.

My hands met his shoulders and I softly drew myself around him, holding him to me. "What are you looking at?"

"The lake," he replied.

"Mmm, it's beautiful, isn't it?"

"You kept your promise. This is definitely a place hidden from the outside world. It is too bad we can't stay here."

I blinked. I supposed I hadn't really thought about that. No, I wouldn't be able to stay there with him; we did have lives beyond the four walls of this cottage.

"What will you do?" I asked, praying for the answer.

"Don't you mean, 'what will we do?'" his tone was playful and I let out a sigh of relief. So there was a future for us. I hadn't thought too much past his return to my life. I didn't want to disillusion myself into thinking I had a life with him for fear of it never happening. "Sadie." The way he said my name was such a welcome sound. He drew me into his arms once again. "You are my wild girl, my sanity, the very reason I am still alive. I will never let anything tear us apart again."

"Your parents—"

"No longer have a say in my life, nor will they ever."

I smiled. It would seem that while he had helped me escape my own demons, I had done the same for him. "What do we do now then?" I asked, my mind racing at the possibilities. The only thing I really cared about was that he was here.

His smile was bright and engaging, a smile I had never seen before and my whole heart lifted with happiness. This was a truly happy Draco Malfoy. "That's the beauty of it really," he said. "We can do anything we want."

* * *

If someone asked me now to describe myself with three words, these are the words I would choose:

Happy. Loved. Free.

None of those words would have meant a thing to me five years ago. I was not happy. I was not loved and above all I definitely was not free. These days I am more happy than not, and I never cease to feel loved. My freedom is the one thing that makes me so happy and I owe it all to one man.

My kindred spirit Draco Malfoy, a boy I thought would stir the pot and cause my father to really look at me, my mother to come to her senses, and a game to keep me amused. Oh how wrong I had been.

My father never really saw me, not even when I was standing in front of him, refusing to do anything and everything he wanted, refusing to even continue being his daughter. Unfortunately for him I was not someone who could be bought and paid for like the rest of his employees. I wanted and needed a life of my own and in the end he got exactly what he deserved I suppose. Now I run my father's company in a less vigorous and more generous manner than Loden Morris was ever capable of.

It turned out I really didn't need my mother to come to her senses, we just needed to find a common ground to stand on that wasn't polluted by secrets and lies and pretending. My mother is my best friend and I am grateful not only to her, but to her husband, my new father and the man who finally made her feel completely safe and completely herself.

As far as the amusing game I had been chasing, it was only a game for a very short period of time before it, like a spark to a flame, took on a much greater role in my ever evolving life. It's all fun in games until someone gets hurt, so the saying goes, or until someone falls in love. I was in love with Draco Malfoy, and I still am. Sometimes I wondering which path I took to get to where I am. I crinkle my brown, fiddle with my necklace and ponder over the choices we made and the decisions that got us to where we are today. I never think about it for too long though, because it will never make any sense to anyone else but us.

He gave me a ring to prove it too, a black diamond to signify how different our love really was. I wore it for several years while we got our lives sorted, while we figured out where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do. When everything once again made sense, we took vows in front of friends and family, promising to love and cherish and make a world of difference. If not for the world though then just for ourselves, to make sure nothing came between us ever again.

I still wear the necklace he gave me and the diamond ring on my right hand that now rests against my swollen belly that promises a new life with new hopes and dreams. We made a promise to myself the day we found out I was pregnant. We said we would never behave like my parents did. We will not use their example as our own. We will use love and not discipline to shape our children. We will not try to tame them into submission. Sometimes there are forces of nature that just can't be tamed. Instead, we will raise our children to be something we both learned the hard way: to be unbreakable.


End file.
